Okay, my number has got to be 3... and it is because my joke is a true story of it taking me THREE tries to get through to a client regarding cancellation of a contract.
We allow clients to cancel by e-mail, fax, or letter mail. About a month ago, a lady calls in screaming for me (top of the top for complaints, in the whole company) and she actually asked for me by name, so she must have done her research on an external website cause our company sites do not show my name.
The convo goes like this:
Client: I've been trying to cancel for over a year, and they won't let me!
Me: When did you first provide written notice, and what format did you use?
Client: Fax, first one was February 13th.
Me: of 2011?
Client:No, 2012.
Me: Okay, so you have been trying for a month and a half. We don't have the request on file. Could I ask you to resend?
Client: I did that already, in March, and then I sent a letter Friday, and faxed again today.
Me: It's too soon for us to have got the letter you mailed, and I can't locate any of the faxes. Could you perhaps e-mail it?
Client: I've faxed three times and mailed you once already, I don't want to e-mail so you can pretend you never got that either! You're all crooks!
Me: I will look into this and call you back within the hour.
I spoke to the administration office, and we found a blank piece of paper faxed and filed as "junk" on Feb 13th, and a blank from the day of the lady calling me. Stifling a giggle, I call her back.
Me: I found a blank fax with your fax number as the sender. Could I ask you to turn it around and resend?
Client: Can't you do it?
I am doing my best not to laugh out loud at this point. I give her the benefit of the doubt - maybe she isn't stupid, maybe she thinks I mean the image is rotated 180 degrees.
Me: No ma'am, I really can't. We just got a blank fax. Can I just ask you to turn it over and resend? We still have not received your written cancellation request, and I need it before I can terminate the contract.
Client: But my fax machine said it was sent.
I am still trying not to laugh at this point, but it is really getting hard. Third try's gotta do it... right?
Me: I understand, but it sent a blank page. You faxed us the back of the letter. There is no writing on the side you sent to us. Can I please get you to try faxing it to the toll free number, but faxing the opposite side?
Client: All right, but you've got to give me a different fax number because the last three times I tried this, it didn't work.
She then faxed in both sides of the paper, with handwritten requests each side, presumably so I couldn't be certain of her idiocy, but I finally had what I needed!
Can't wait to hear what it is!
true story 
lol
