LOL Have you been spying on me Carpedebass?!?!?!That was great
Nate aka Darth Vapor
Ahhh, you're situational awareness practice has served you well. Extra credit for you too!
Mailman Stalking 101
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Ahhh, you're situational awareness practice has served you well. Extra credit for you too!
My USPS guy is a fuzzy-headed twentysomething in a 1975 Chevy LUV pickup with a eagle magnet on the door. He carries a large quantity of pre-filled "sorry we missed you" stickers. I set up some trip-wire on a flash-can, just enough to stun him without collateral damage.
WOW! A stellar student you are!! Flash bombs and avoidance techniques aren't even covered until advanced intermediate training. Three extra credit points for you!!
I have two different USPS Carriers that serve my Mailbox. One is a Woman about 5'6" tall Strawberry Blond hair approximately 145lbs and very nice demeanor who delivers the mail between 10:15 and 10:35 am. The other,(Not fond of this one as he is always late), is a Man who is approximately 5'10" tall, almost non existent dishwater blond hair, 185lbs and delivers the mail at between 3:45 and 4:50PM and has no clue how to drive a mail truck because he has come close to hitting my Trailblazer like five times pulling a U Turn to go back down the street because he forgot to deliver something to a mailbox down the road.
Nate aka Darth Vapor
Nate aka Darth Vapor
After taking the advanced course and also the esoterically enlightening super duper course I can attest to the high degree of efficacy in Mr. Carpedebass' teachings.-Percy Postalstalkmen
Don't know what you guys problem is 
Got my mail carrier programed to toot her horn when she leaves a package in my mailbox. It might have been due to the diligence taken to find out what each postal worker in my postoffice's favorite doughnuts are and proper delivery of said doughnuts to the carriers on days I wish to obtain my packages at the post office before the carrier even leaves the post office in the morning.
Got my mail carrier programed to toot her horn when she leaves a package in my mailbox. It might have been due to the diligence taken to find out what each postal worker in my postoffice's favorite doughnuts are and proper delivery of said doughnuts to the carriers on days I wish to obtain my packages at the post office before the carrier even leaves the post office in the morning. 
Don't know what you guys problem is
Wow talk about advanced training, so you're saying all I need is to find the Lady in Blue's weakness. Speed and agility are 2 of them but never figured out how to use that against them.
ETA: We must compile a list of their favorite "bait" to use against them.......
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DOH! I think there is a mole on ECF! The gubment mail website just changed my etd from yesterday to day-after-tomorrow! Pfft.
NOTE TO SELF: Never EVER use USPS. EVER!
NOTE TO SELF: Never EVER use USPS. EVER!
You have the basis for a good stalk. But when and how often do they brush their teeth? What kind of deodorant do they use? See where I'm going with this? If you cannot answer these questions...you haven't done your homework.
Thank you for that testamonial Mr. Percy. You were an absolute joy to have in class.
Don't know what you guys problem is
That's cheating and not nearly as much fun. Not to mention...it can and likely will backfire on you when they find a replacement for this "mail carrier wannabe."
An absolute MUST DO in your stalking log!! But you can never let them know who is leaving the "gift" for them...keep 'em guessing so they associate the gift with your mailbox and not you.
You are likely in danger! You must report to SEER (Survival Evasion Resistance and Escape) training immediately!
It was just a head fake, they got it here shortly after my last transmission. Clear!
You definitely need this course then, it is against all protocol to be caught not looking!
OK...cancel the SEER training then.
We have GOT to fix that. Never allow your mail carrier to go un-noticed.
I'm currently writing the thesis for a new technique; CCRAS the Canine Companion Reconnaissance and Alert System.
My loyal (I use the term loosely) canine companions are already adept at identifying the engine sounds of the vehicles of people important to them; myself, my gf, my brother as well as both of my parents.
I'm currently in the process of training them to use this ability along with the canine genetic imprinting of detesting postal carriers to alert me whenever my mailman is within 1/4 mile (the effective range of their ability) of my domicile. I've found the positive reinforcement and reward program to be the best training method for this; cheese being the best reward. The process is a bit slower than I would like (they are "old dogs" after all) but just a week into training they can already effectively alert me when my mailman is in front of my house.
My loyal (I use the term loosely) canine companions are already adept at identifying the engine sounds of the vehicles of people important to them; myself, my gf, my brother as well as both of my parents.
I'm currently in the process of training them to use this ability along with the canine genetic imprinting of detesting postal carriers to alert me whenever my mailman is within 1/4 mile (the effective range of their ability) of my domicile. I've found the positive reinforcement and reward program to be the best training method for this; cheese being the best reward. The process is a bit slower than I would like (they are "old dogs" after all) but just a week into training they can already effectively alert me when my mailman is in front of my house.
Having your Trailblazer hit is a small price to pay so that your neighbor can have his cartos delivered.
Does standing outside with a shotgun matter much? I figure if he drives by without stopping, I can make him stop. Is this a good tactic or what!
A few other things to remember are:
If you live in a highly populated area, move to a small town. One with less than 100 people is preferable as you can really get to know your mail carrier because it's highly likely that they live right next door.
If you live in a larger town, with less than 4000 people, you can still get to know your mail carrier pretty well. Think about participating in many of the same activities they do. Attend their church. Go to their children's plays. buy the really bad muffins they sell at bake sales. Also many mail carriers enjoy cool beverages while they're working and higher alcohol content is usually much appreciated.
The best way I've found to get your personal mail person on your side is to save their life. Now many of you may not be in a position to save your mail carriers life as you have not been keeping up with your stalking responsibilities 24/7 but you can create a scenario where they'll have no idea that you actually saved them from your very devisings. I've saved my mail lady at least once a month for the past 7 years and I live 1/2 a mile down what is considered the worst road in my town and she still drives down it to bring me my goodies most every day. She has my phone number too and calls when she's on her way. So I say the best way to stalk your mail carrier is to get them on your side so that they are actually stalking you. If you're really serious get your mail carrier to fall hard for you and marry them and that way you get your packages the moment they arrive off the big truck.
Brilliant posting thread Carpedebass! Hope I could help out a little.
If you live in a highly populated area, move to a small town. One with less than 100 people is preferable as you can really get to know your mail carrier because it's highly likely that they live right next door.
If you live in a larger town, with less than 4000 people, you can still get to know your mail carrier pretty well. Think about participating in many of the same activities they do. Attend their church. Go to their children's plays. buy the really bad muffins they sell at bake sales. Also many mail carriers enjoy cool beverages while they're working and higher alcohol content is usually much appreciated.
The best way I've found to get your personal mail person on your side is to save their life. Now many of you may not be in a position to save your mail carriers life as you have not been keeping up with your stalking responsibilities 24/7 but you can create a scenario where they'll have no idea that you actually saved them from your very devisings. I've saved my mail lady at least once a month for the past 7 years and I live 1/2 a mile down what is considered the worst road in my town and she still drives down it to bring me my goodies most every day. She has my phone number too and calls when she's on her way. So I say the best way to stalk your mail carrier is to get them on your side so that they are actually stalking you. If you're really serious get your mail carrier to fall hard for you and marry them and that way you get your packages the moment they arrive off the big truck.
Brilliant posting thread Carpedebass! Hope I could help out a little.
so...can i streamline these techniques by placing a spy cam at the mailbox/inside the mailbox and attaching the feed from it wireless into a helmet with video feed? You know...so i can go pee?
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