make me laugh!
- Thread starter ogredog
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A couple sits at dinner.
She: I was thinking about getting breasts implants.
He: What do you want those for?
She: Well since I am so flat in the front and I know how much you like big breasts and I also thought it might help my self esteem.
He: Isn't that expensive?
She: About $4000 total.
He: Naa here is what you do. Every morning you take some tissue and rub it up and down betwin your breasts. In no time you will have triple D size breasts.
She: You think that will help?
He: Worked on your .... just fine.
Edit: not for contest just telling a joke.
She: I was thinking about getting breasts implants.
He: What do you want those for?
She: Well since I am so flat in the front and I know how much you like big breasts and I also thought it might help my self esteem.
He: Isn't that expensive?
She: About $4000 total.
He: Naa here is what you do. Every morning you take some tissue and rub it up and down betwin your breasts. In no time you will have triple D size breasts.
She: You think that will help?
He: Worked on your .... just fine.
Edit: not for contest just telling a joke.
Last edited:
Lexiphile (i.e., "lovers of words" - you know . . . like . . . you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish . . . or, I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger . . . then it hit me . . .etc.)
Well, here are some for you to enjoy:
To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes . . . take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , . . . U.C.L.A.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes . . . was on shaky ground.
The batteries were given out . .. . free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . .. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a . . . dead giveaway.
If you don't pay your exorcist . . .. you can get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name . .. . and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you . . . A-flat miner.
You are stuck with your debt if . . . you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia : . . . The LAN down under.
A boiled egg is . . . hard to beat.
When you've seen one shopping center . . . you've seen a mall.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was . . . resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? . . . He's all right now.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could . . .. jog your memory.
A bicycle can't stand alone; . .. . it is two tired.
In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, . . . it's your Count that votes.
When a clock is hungry . . .. it goes back four seconds
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine . . . was fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory . . . which was never developed.
Those who get too big for their britches will be . . . exposed in the end.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, . . . she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture: . . . a jab well done.
Well, here are some for you to enjoy:
To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes . . . take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , . . . U.C.L.A.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes . . . was on shaky ground.
The batteries were given out . .. . free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . .. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a . . . dead giveaway.
If you don't pay your exorcist . . .. you can get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name . .. . and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you . . . A-flat miner.
You are stuck with your debt if . . . you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia : . . . The LAN down under.
A boiled egg is . . . hard to beat.
When you've seen one shopping center . . . you've seen a mall.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was . . . resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? . . . He's all right now.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could . . .. jog your memory.
A bicycle can't stand alone; . .. . it is two tired.
In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, . . . it's your Count that votes.
When a clock is hungry . . .. it goes back four seconds
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine . . . was fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory . . . which was never developed.
Those who get too big for their britches will be . . . exposed in the end.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, . . . she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture: . . . a jab well done.
Okay... I love Walmart and always try to find someone to add to this website... No luck yet...
The website you never want to be on:
http://peopleofwalmart.com
I don't like BH, just wanted to make you laugh, no entry!
The website you never want to be on:
http://peopleofwalmart.com
I don't like BH, just wanted to make you laugh, no entry!
Wow, you all did a great job and I think a lot if people were entertained by this thread....but there can be only one winner. I read all the jokes, watched the vids and smiled at most the pics....
Im actually a little ashamed to admit what made me laugh out loud , perhaps everyone had seen this but I never had. Im not even sure it is real, if it is that's horrible and it's offensive.
Was it the audacity of the contestant? Was it empathy for Pat Sajack? The fact it had to be aired? I dunno, but Jamesjr7 u r the winner. Pm coming....so answer quick and ill send it 2mor!
If I had another bottle for second, it would have gone to that long a** story davelog posted....because the joke itself wasn't funny lol but the idea of all of us spending time reading it and groaning is pretty darn funny
Im actually a little ashamed to admit what made me laugh out loud , perhaps everyone had seen this but I never had. Im not even sure it is real, if it is that's horrible and it's offensive.
Was it the audacity of the contestant? Was it empathy for Pat Sajack? The fact it had to be aired? I dunno, but Jamesjr7 u r the winner. Pm coming....so answer quick and ill send it 2mor!
If I had another bottle for second, it would have gone to that long a** story davelog posted....because the joke itself wasn't funny lol but the idea of all of us spending time reading it and groaning is pretty darn funny
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