Mental health

[SweetPeaZZ]

let's see... major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, adult attention deficit disorder... possible bipolar disorder. i put the funk in dysfunctional. i'm take more medication that most pharmacies have in there inventories.

but i'm a functioning crazy

 

[Grandma Cas]

Have any of you thought about how vaping affects your mental health?

Have any of you noticed a mood change with vaping?

I seem to be a little less stressed/depressed now I'm vaping. I think it has something to do with being able to continue getting my nic fix wherever I am with my PV, unlike analogs.

 

[Mary Kay]

Cas, have you noticed any feeling that you need to vape less then you did smoke? I am going longer between vapes. That's not on purpose..just less need. I know all I did with analogs is need more and more.
I have also noticed less pleasure in the flavors..it's not the flavors, it's just me.
I am still doing fine, with no craving for analogs, I think it's knowing I could have any amt of nic between 0 to 36 anytime I want.
I also am not having any stress spikes and feelings of panic at the lower nic level..funny when I smoked the same amount of nic day to day 20 analogs a day..I had panic and stress levels all over the place unless I smoked MORE!

 

[Grandma Cas]

Can't say as I have less need MaryKay, more like I vape more 'cause I can breath better... but I am having as many as 10 analogs a day... still, I'm not beating myself up over it 'cause 10 is better than the 40/508-o I was getting through.

 

[nitewriter]

I have hypothyroidism, and interestingly, hypo patients are often misdiagnosed as bipolar before they are properly diagnosed with hypo.

Once properly treated, the mood swings go away and docs find that we were never really bipolar at all. The drugs that treat bipolar disorder actually make hypo worse, and smoking tends to stave off hypo symptoms, so when I quit smoking the first time I was a real joy to be around, let me tell you.

I also have fibromyalgia, which can lead to depression.

I think any chronic disease can lead to some mental issues simply from the isolation it brings, though, since most of my contact with the outside world comes from the internet. I was a very gregarious person in my former life and living like a hermit is a big change.

Bigeyes, you nailed it for me!

I have been having severe thyroid problems for the last 10 years. I was originally a size 5/6 when I was diagnosed as hyperthyroid. They put me on Tapazole, and I had a bad reaction to it. Dr said the only other option was surgery or radiation to kill it. I did the radiation and gained 75 lbs in the 3 months following treatment.

This forced me into hypothyroidism. Over 100 lbs and numerous Dr's and endo's later, I'm still screwed up. My body does not process synthetic hormone replacement and Armor didn't work at all.

Last year I had a brief period (4 months) where I felt close to normal. I went on Nutri Sysem and lost 60 lbs. Then my body started rejecting the dosage again and now I'm right back where I started. (SOOOO depressing!)

The isolation had begun, ...again. This is a horrible emotional rollercoaster. It's especially bad for me because I work in the entertainment industry where outer beauty is more important than inner. Where you're judged if you are 10 lbs overweight. At 100 you're either looked at like a leapor, or you're nonexistant.

I'm very thankful for this forum and the people here. It's the one place I don't feel judged by anything other than the person I am.

 

[bigeyes]

Bigeyes, you nailed it for me!

I have been having severe thyroid problems for the last 10 years. I was originally a size 5/6 when I was diagnosed as hyperthyroid. They put me on Tapazole, and I had a bad reaction to it. Dr said the only other option was surgery or radiation to kill it. I did the radiation and gained 75 lbs in the 3 months following treatment.

This forced me into hypothyroidism. Over 100 lbs and numerous Dr's and endo's later, I'm still screwed up. My body does not process synthetic hormone replacement and Armor didn't work at all.

Last year I had a brief period (4 months) where I felt close to normal. I went on Nutri Sysem and lost 60 lbs. Then my body started rejecting the dosage again and now I'm right back where I started. (SOOOO depressing!)

The isolation had begun, ...again. This is a horrible emotional rollercoaster. It's especially bad for me because I work in the entertainment industry where outer beauty is more important than inner. Where you're judged if you are 10 lbs overweight. At 100 you're either looked at like a leapor, or you're nonexistant.

I'm very thankful for this forum and the people here. It's the one place I don't feel judged by anything other than the person I am.

armour worked better for me when I took cortisol, but worked best when I smoked because I had such a hard time tweaking the cortisol dosage. That little jolt of cortisol you get from every cigarette seemed to be more help for me than taking pills.

I just get so tired of spending so much money on doctors and having mainstream docs tell me it's all in my head when I so clearly feel better when I smoke. E-cigs seem to be doing the trick, however, so until there is no more juice to be had, that is my current solution.

The last time I quit smoking entirely, even chewing the gum I ballooned within 2 weeks, and I even made sure to eat less in anticipation.

I'm feeling a bit better now, so I'm hoping to get back to 'normal.' At one point when I smoked 3 packs a day I worked out several hours daily and my doctors were always surprised I was so healthy for a smoker. I had a few smoking friends who were joggers as well, so it isn't like all smokers are automatically anti-exercise, I think that's just part of the propaganda.

They want to believe we're a bunch of lazy slobs because it fits into their stereotype.

 

[Grandma Cas]

Smoking calms me, as did drinking. I can't drink of course ..sugar.

this reminded me of an episode with my diabetic father when he had been drinking & went into hypo so, I found this for you MaryKay:

Alcohol actually has the effect of lowering blood glucose levels.

Alcohol

 

[Mary Kay]

Cas! You are a sweety. But since I already have HBP, I don't need any more problems. I do have a drink now and again, but one leads to two and two leads to eating and three..well we'll leave it at one shall we?

 

[mamu]

Thanks gep for directing me to this forum. I didn't exactly know what this forum was til you told me. I hadn't looked at any of the threads in here until today.

Thanks for this topic Kate.

My 28 year old son was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia with severe anxiety disorder about 5 years ago. We've learned to adapt to who our son is now, but I still grieve at times for the son I lost.

He has problems with spirits and demons bothering him and Jesus talking to him telling him to do things. They're always there bothering him.

This last year or so has been better for all of us. Keven was finally put on meds that seem to help him cope better with the spirits and demons that torture him. He tells me that the spirits and demons are still there, but he's able to not do the things they tell him to do. Jesus still talks to him, but no longer tells him to do harmful things.

His dosage has needed to be titrated. Until the right dosage was found, it was a grueling experience for all of us. He still rocks in his rocking chair and listens to his music pretty much 24/7, but he sometimes comes back to us and is somewhat more socialable when family come over.

Early in the diagnosis my husband and I didn't have a clue as to what Keven's reality was. Now we do. At times I am so overwhelmingly sad for the suffering he is going through. He uses the word torture a lot and I believe he is tortured. It's his reality and sometimes I put myself in his reality (in my mind) and it scares me.

Keven will always need someone to care for him and my husband and I have made the commitment to do that. With this new medication, we sometimes have glimpses of Keven's sense of humor and his free-spiritedness that was gone for so long. These baby steps have been worth everything in the world to me.

As for me..I have issues...another time. Thanks for listening.

 

[prr2freya]

I seem to be a little less stressed/depressed now I'm vaping. I think it has something to do with being able to continue getting my nic fix wherever I am with my PV, unlike analogs.

I have also noticed I have been leveling out a little bit... and somehow sleeping better.. I have been a massive insomniac for well over 15 years.. I was on sleeping pills for 10 of those and got off them without Dr's permission. Very common for me to sleep for maybe 6-8 hours every two days. I stay up 3 days in a row at least once a month without even a cat nap... I still go long periods without sleep, but when i do finally drop, I am sleeping heavier. Still not for more than 6 hours at a time max... but i don't wake up from the slighest movement of my cat anymore...

 

[Jules22871]

Have any of you thought about how vaping affects your mental health?

Usually during the winter I get low moods and a bit off balance with perspective, paranoia and such but this last winter I was great. I haven't felt this good and level headed for years and I seriously think that quitting smoking and getting 'clean' nicotine by vaping might be doing me some good.

Without nicotine I tend to not be so good so I don't think it's just the ritual. Maybe I imagine I'm getting something out of it and it's a placebo effect, I'm not sure.

Have any of you noticed a mood change with vaping?

I am so sorry to hear what you have to deal with. I can only imagine how hard it must be! I am glad to hear that you are feeling good right now!

My moods change with the weather too but I honestly don't think it has changed any just yeat. I have only been vaping since April 10th so it may just be to soon to tell. I do know that my heart rate and BP are a lot better since I started vaping. But I still have to take my head meds even thouhg I feel better. I have PTSD, depression with anxiety and they think possible borderline personality disorder. I dont really see anyone special for this since I dont have any insurance right now but that changes on August 1 and believe me, I have a lot of doc appts to make once that day hits!

 

[Kate]

Hi Jules

I'm very lucky at the moment, I'm out of the hole and mostly rational. I'm also very lucky not to be tormented with destructive voices like Manu's son. My grip on reality seems to be reasonably healthy at the moment. The drama, sensory overload and urgency are thankfully under control.

All the best with your own difficulties, it sounds like you've got your plate full. Professionals and medication can be a help but in your own head the only person who can properly restore order is yourself.

Hello everyone else, thanks for sharing your experiences. I hope you can find some comfort and support to help make things a little easier.

 

[Rexa]

I made a blurb on the original thread before the group was created but here it is as well in more depth:

I have Auditory Processing Disorder. It's a cognitive disability. I have perfect hearing but my brain can't process words/sounds correctly. There is much more too it but you'd have to google it as I won't get into writing a novel here. Went through a plethora of audiologists and they all thought I was crazy until I happened upon one who also happened to be a speech pathologist which are specially trained in these sorts of things. I also have a mild form of Social Anxiety Disorder. Some have said that it could be attributed to having APD. I am scared of talking on the phones, meeting new people at bars/clubs and such and often times its because of my slight communication barrier. I've overcome a lot of social obstacles thanks to the internet as I've gotten older and I've met some wonderful groups as a result.

The beautiful part is that you probably wouldn't notice anything about me at first if you were to meet me except that I am awefully quiet. Then you'd probably wonder why I am looking at you like you have 5 heads. Eventually I'll ask you to repeat what you've said or a particular word (a million times) and then either you'll think I'm hard of hearing or you'll think I'm not paying attention to what you're saying (usually the latter because of my age). If I am in a group of people it does usually go unnoticed but when talking one on one with someone I most likely would have to explain myself towards the end (if I care to even do so). I've had people in the past walk away from me frustrated or even disgusted which has been emotionally painful sometimes. Little do those people know that their frustration pales in comparison to mine unfortunately.

 

[Mary Kay]

Rexa, would it help to have a little pad of paper and ask someone to write a word down? Could you just say I have a problem with your hearing sound range or something without going in to the whole thing? I know if met you face to face, I wouldn't mind writing a word down here and there. (even without knowing about the processing problem).

 

[mamu]

I have Auditory Processing Disorder. It's a cognitive disability. I have perfect hearing but my brain can't process words/sounds correctly.

Rexa, I have had this for as long as I can remember. I've been to several audiologists and neuro-specialists. I've been told I have to just learn to deal with it.

Did they make you do the hearing aid thing too before it was diagnosed? I had this one audiologist that thought this one type of hearing aid would help my brain process words! The so-called magic bullet that would fix my brain hahaha!

I have to really really concentrate on what the person is saying to get most of the words processed and by doing so I'm intensely staring at them. Yeah, I've gotten into trouble by doing that.

I've learned to just smile and nod my head cuz I don't have a clue to what they're saying. Sometimes smiling gets me in trouble, depends on the topic. Sometimes I understand enough to get the jist of what they're saying.

I remember watching this one movie 4 times because I was missing why this guy's brother got killed and it was one of those sentences at the very end of the movie that told why. I finally gave up!

I also have a form of facial amnesia. I can meet someone and later have no idea who they are. The worst for me was for several years I taught college students. These students would be in my classes for 2 years and 6 months later I wouldn't recognize them.

Just recently, one of my daughter's friends ranted to my daughter about me snubbing her in Wal-Mart. She said hi and I didn't know who she was so I just smiled.

It just wastes my time to see any more specialists. They don't know why my brain has trouble processing words or with facial recognition.

Aah..what an adventure huh?

 

[Rexa]

No, they didn't give me any hearing aid and already told me before hand it would be pointless to try one (at least they were smart there). After passing the 'sounds' test each time they kept saying "oh maybe you should see a neurologist". I've seen at least 6audiologists since the age of 8 up until I was diagnosed when I was 23 (5 years ago).

I can totally relate getting into trouble after nodding or smiling at something I "thought" I heard.

MaryKay, I tend to do that at work actually. Make people write things down. I guess I could try when I'm out as well. I also keep repeating back what people say.

Mamu, what about semi-close relatives and such? Have you confused their faces as well?

 

[mamu]

Mamu, what about semi-close relatives and such? Have you confused their faces as well?

I don't confuse faces, I just don't recognize them as someone I know. It's like they're a complete stranger to me when they're not.

I don't have problems with people who I've known all my life, such as family and friends.

For most people when someone tells you their name you recognize that person. When someone tells me their name, I know the name and who they are, but I don't recognize their face as someone I know.

It's an embarrassment for me. My brain has a problem with facial recognization, which is called facial amnesia.

I remember how upset one of my graduates was when I didn't know who she was when we attended the same seminar about 6 months after she had graduated. She was in my classes everyday for 2 years and 6 months later I didn't recognize her. After she told me her name, I knew her name and who she was, I just didn't recognize her face as someone I knew.

I bumped into a lady a while back who I had worked closely with for several years and I hadn't seen her for about a year. I had memories of the person and I knew who she was, I just didn't recognize her face as someone I knew.

This has happened several times with people who come and go in my life.

When my kids were in high school and their friends would come over, I would ask my husband who that was after they left. At times he would get frustrated with me.

It's not as severe for me as what I've read of others who have it. One lady I read about has to keep a notebook with her when she's at work that has co-workers names and descriptions of who they are because she doesn't recognize her co-workers as someone she knows.

 

[tescela]

I made a blurb on the original thread before the group was created but here it is as well in more depth:

I have Auditory Processing Disorder. It's a cognitive disability. I have perfect hearing but my brain can't process words/sounds correctly. There is much more too it but you'd have to google it as I won't get into writing a novel here. Went through a plethora of audiologists and they all thought I was crazy until I happened upon one who also happened to be a speech pathologist which are specially trained in these sorts of things. I also have a mild form of Social Anxiety Disorder. Some have said that it could be attributed to having APD. I am scared of talking on the phones, meeting new people at bars/clubs and such and often times its because of my slight communication barrier. I've overcome a lot of social obstacles thanks to the internet as I've gotten older and I've met some wonderful groups as a result.

The beautiful part is that you probably wouldn't notice anything about me at first if you were to meet me except that I am awefully quiet. Then you'd probably wonder why I am looking at you like you have 5 heads. Eventually I'll ask you to repeat what you've said or a particular word (a million times) and then either you'll think I'm hard of hearing or you'll think I'm not paying attention to what you're saying (usually the latter because of my age). If I am in a group of people it does usually go unnoticed but when talking one on one with someone I most likely would have to explain myself towards the end (if I care to even do so). I've had people in the past walk away from me frustrated or even disgusted which has been emotionally painful sometimes. Little do those people know that their frustration pales in comparison to mine unfortunately.

I just discovered the Wrecked & Bonkers club, and then started reading some of these threads.

I want to say that it is reading a thread like this one that makes me really love this forum. It has been exciting to find a place where people are as passionate about vaping as I am, but when I read this thread, I really connected with the honesty about personal suffering. I have never felt comfortable sharing my suffering with others, because then it seems to become a lens through which people see you afterwards. So, I've become pretty adept at hiding my condition. We are so much more than our illnesses/disorders, and if you are like me, other people's pity is like kryptonite.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say is that this suddenly feels like an extended family. Thank you for making that feeling possible.

 

[dawnlori]

Hi Tescela, I am rather new here also. Been vaping for a month now and no anologs since May 15th. Glad you feel comfortable with us. I know thats not an easy feat sometimes. Best to ya, dawn

 

[Grandma Cas]

I think it helps. I've read a lot of things about how smoking raises cortisol, and it was on this forum where someone mentioned that it lowers estrogen.

Hi bigeyes, your post is really ringing bells with me. I've suffered with depression since my early 20's & nothing seeemed to help very much.

However, after I underwent surgery for breast cancer in 2005 my oncologist put me on Tamoxifen & said I would have to stay on it for about 5yrs so, me being me, I had to know why.

It turns out that Tamoxifen suppresses estrogen, which is what some breast cancers feed on. And I have to say my depression is a lot better these days.

my cortisol levels were apparently part of my mood swings. I was in a constant state of fight of flight, would get angry to the point of shaking over the slightest little thing,

this used to happen to me as a kid but, I never knew why

someone made the connection to childhood abuse and adrenal burnout. Your cortisol and adrenaline levels get all screwed up and I was getting adrenaline surges, hence the shaking and mood swings.

me too

I had no clue about this until I joined a thyroid and adrenal fatigue support group and someone else clued me in. I honestly thought everybody got the shakes when they got mad or needed to eat until I was in my 30s and learned it was just me.

I've never heard of 'adrenal fatigue' before but, always thought getting the shakes or having a bad headaches means low blood sugar & a need to eat. I also have thyriod problems. Thanks for clueing me in on the 'adrenal fatigue' & thanks for sharing your story with us.