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Military ranks

Discussion in 'Armed Services Forum' started by retired1, Oct 14, 2017.

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  1. retired1

    retired1 Administrator Admin Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Supporting member
    Apr 5, 2013
    Texas
    :D

    Military Rank:

    GENERAL
    Leaps tall buildings with a single bound. Is more powerful than a locomotive. Is faster than a speeding bullet. Walks on water. Gives policy to God.

    COLONEL
    Leaps short buildings with ease. Is more powerful than a switch engine. Is just as fast as a speeding bullet. Walks on water if sea is calm. Talks to God.

    LIEUTENANT COLONEL
    Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds. Is almost as powerful as a switch engine. Is faster than a speeding bullet. Walks on water in indoor swimming pool. Talks with God if special request is approved.

    MAJOR
    Barely clears quonset huts. Loses tug of war with locomotive. Can fire a speeding bullet. Swims well. Is occasionally addressed by God.

    CAPTAIN
    Makes high marks when trying to leap buildings. Is run over by locomotives. Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury. Dog paddles. Talks to animals.

    FIRST LIEUTENANT
    Runs into buildings. Recognizes locomotives two out of three times. Is not issued ammunition. Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of a Mae West. Talks to the wall.

    SECOND LIEUTENANT
    Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings. Says: "Look at the Choo-Choo!" Wets himself with a water pistol. Plays in mud puddles. Mumbles to himself.

    SERGEANT
    Lifts buildings and walks under them. Kicks locomotives off the tracks. Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them. Freezes water with a single glance. Because---He is God!
     
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  2. petrotech

    petrotech Ultra Member Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Supporting member
    Feb 9, 2015
    indiana
    what about warrant officers? :pervy:
     
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  3. retired1

    retired1 Administrator Admin Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Supporting member
    Apr 5, 2013
    Texas
    Air Force got rid of 'em years ago because they weren't, are you ready for this?, warranted. :D
     
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  4. petrotech

    petrotech Ultra Member Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Supporting member
    Feb 9, 2015
    indiana
  5. HipGnosis

    HipGnosis Full Member

    May 15, 2015
    Wisc
    I think you meant to say "Chief Master Sergeant"
    Plain, reg. Sgts are the backbone of the military, but they're to busy to play God.
     
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