Mother of the Year.../Sigh

[CalamityJess]

I fully realize my youngest child, at 18 (19 in a couple weeks) is an adult and fully capable of making her own decisions. She came home with an ecig. I knew she was smoking (she straight up told me). Now she has a little green NHookah ecig thing. The Mom in me that still sees her as a baby wanted to kick her .... and toss it away. The Mom part that knows she's an adult, with her own money, and that better to vape than smoke decided she needed something better than THAT.

So she's getting one of my small ego set ups.../sigh.

I'm glad I in a way influence my child. It was probably us smoking that made her lean towards it, it was certainly my vaping that did this. But for the love of Pete why couldn't I influence her to keep her room clean or...play more video games or...

I don't want to be the Mom anymore. Am I the only one that has found themselves in this particular hot seat?

Edited to Add: she used her babysitting money, not my money. And I told her the deal breaker with getting my ego was the cigarettes have to stop.

 

[Jay-dub]

You should pat yourself on the back. A person can't deal with a world that they've been sheltered from. You're doing just fine.

 

[Talyon]

Monkey see monkey do IMHO is way over rated and merely bunk. Or the young adults room would be always clean, car would have gas in it, shoes would be left in closet, homework always done on time, etc etc etc.

You did a fine job Mom....... Now it's her turn to keep up your good work.

 

[volume control]

Kids dont listen to their parents until they are out on their own, then they suddenly need advice on every little thing in life. Funny how that works

 

[jp_cfc09]

I must of be a real noob to smoke, as my parents, grandparents or any person close to my home smoked as they all hated it. started smokeing at 11 and never had any cigarettes directly pushed on to me. in all honestly I feel every person is different and choices are made by that individual alone really. like me for instance, no one smoked near me but I decided to smoke and my partner who doesnt smoke even though her two parents and 1 of her brothers did the whole time she lived at home.

so what im trying to say really is all you can do is your best and support her choices as even if you never smoked she probably more then likely would of started anyway. at least she is now trying vapeing and hopefully stays off the analogs but only bad thing is your supplies might start to disappear lol.

 

[mare ze dotes]

Well the thing about vaping is that it is not easy or cheep. It might be more like a toy to her. Easy to dump once the novelty wears off. I hope at least.

 

[Robino1]

I've seen my daughter make bad choices. All you can do is love unconditionally. Guide them when you can and just love 'em when they fall. The falling and mistakes usually make those lessons stick. My kids know I might not agree with every choice they make but they do know that I will always love them.

Sometimes it sucks being a parent.

 

[Hypatia]

Calamity, you did the right thing. We can't go and change the choices we made in the past, but we can learn and move forward. Ugh, my oldest is only 14 (ahhh, 14 already?), so yeah, my gut reaction would be to want to break that thing in half and then feel so guilty for my past bad role-modeling as a smoker.

That said, getting your daughter a proper vape setup is a good call. I would also applaud your daughter on making the choice herself in the first place to get her own e-cig, even though she couldn't have chosen worse, unfortunately. Share your knowledge together as you both move toward a healthier lifestyle.

 

[CalamityJess]

Thanks All, I know logically it wasn't just my influence on the smoking, her friends did it too, and she's always been a "with the crowd" kind of kid. Luckily this is the worst she's done, so I must have done something right.

She is definitely getting a better set up. I have a non vv ego type sitting here, I'll put a tank on it for her when mine get here. She can learn as I do I guess. She did make a good choice, and I'm glad all my enthusiasm about vaping moved her that way after all.

 

[DetraMental]

Parenting is one of the hardest jobs I've ever had. I think you've made a wise choice. My son smokes and I hate it but I'm not surprised that he does since I did. I gave him one of my eGo's to have when he would run low on cigarettes and he really seemed to like it. It's a step in the right direction. I'll be there when he's really ready to convert.