No, I don't think I've won the contest. That doesn't really matter as much as my personal victory today that I wanted to share with everyone.
Today, (the 25th of August) totals 5 months that I have gone without smoking (ok, one mini cheat a few months ago that resulted in confirming that I don't want to smoke ever again). I'm amazed that I am smoke free today.
I owe it all to one guy. His friends call him Roger D. I call him Dad.
My dad is 72 years old, and the toughest old SOB I know. He is a man's man. Raised on an Iowa farm, and transported at 10 to Arizona. He smoked, drank and looked like James Dean as a teenager (yeah, that is a tatoo on his arm, and he'd kill me if I ever got one). I was a big surprise for him (and my mother!) at the young age 18 when he became a father. He and my mother are still married. My mother never worked.
He drove a truck for a long time, carries a pocket knife always, has kicked some ... (while wearing cowboy boots) and has a zillion great stories. He's mellowed (a little) with age. He can still drink anyone under a table, he hunts, fishes, can get out of any mess. He has every tool known to man and fix anything you hand him with a scrap of wire and that damn pocket knife. If there is trouble, and he is there, there are no worries, he'll find a way out of it. If he is mad, you better get your .... out of sight right quick.
He is also the most generous man out there (he is the first to pull over in a car to help strangers) especially with someone who is down on their luck. I've known him to purchase gas, food and tires for people without concern for the cost, and refusal of repayment. Often people would tell me a story and I had to confirm they were talking about the same guy I grew up with. LOL
As the eldest daughter (with one younger sister), I was elected to fill the son void. I was taken on hunting and fishing trips from the time I could crawl. These trips were called "Our Vacation". I wore cowboy boots at 5 so I could be just like him. I was taught to shoot a gun, bait a hook, change my own tires, and often stood in the garage to help with projects or skin a deer. I am in the Boone & Crockett Game Record book for a Buffalo (I was 12 years old). Dad thinks that is one of the best things I've ever done. He was sorry to see me 'girly up' and take to boys at 13, but I know that he is proud of all I have done and who I am today (I'm still pretty girly). Today there isn't much I can't figure out if it needs to be fixed, dad taught me that for sure.
Not surprising, I started smoking at 14 (like dad). Dad smoked 3 packs a day, and later worked in the Diesel Truck industry. His daily environment for 30 years consisted of a constant cigarette hanging out of his mouth while standing under trucks doing brake work as black asbestos fell like snow. This lethal combination in the shops did him no favors. He had quit smoking at 56, about the time he retired. The tough guy did it cold turkey (and it was only hard on everyone around him!).
April of 2008 at 70, Dad was rushed to the hospital after he coughed up blood. After an x-ray mass showed up, they ordered a lung biopsy. I kissed his head and let go of his hand and watched as he disappeared behind two swinging doors. I went outside, cried and smoked a cigarette. Afterward, I stood next to his bed in the hospital while he coughed up copious amounts of blood after the procedure.
For the first time in my life, my larger than life father looked small and helpless. I walked outside after he was settled in for the night and lit up again and even before his diagnosis I knew this was lung cancer. Tests came back confirming this and that it was inoperable.
I couldn't pretend any longer that what my father was experiencing could very well be my future if I couldn't find a way to quit smoking.
I enjoyed the ritual of smoking, I wanted to smoke, but didn't want the consequences that came with smoking. With each one I smoked, I told myself AFTER THIS PACK/CARTON, I would do something about it. I was having symptoms of the pack a day I consumed, a nasty productive cough which was starting to scare me badly.
Desperate to find a way to quit, I started a round of Welbutrin which eventually had me off of cigarettes for 2 months, but at a huge cost (anxiety and panic attacks, didn't want to leave the house, and I felt BAD). The anxiety reached a peak and I stopped taking the pills, lit a cigarette in relief, disgust and defeat. In tears, I called my sister about my relapse. Later she emailed me a link to Howard Stern's site and Danny Bonaduci saying he'd quit with an electronic cigarette. I watched it and knew this would work for me. It was like the answer to a prayer.
I won an auction and got one by
that company. While waiting for it to arrive, I found this forum (and the light!) and was able to return it. I studied the ECF posts in January 2008 and researched and bought a penstyle PV. I feel like I know many of you through your posts. I thank everyone who take time to post ideas and help new members. You all are a big part of why I could quit after only a few weeks of
vaping and why I'm doing well today.
I had my last cigarette on March 25, 2009 and I was actually glad when I stubbed it out. I still use an 801 and the 510. I hardly ever think about a cigarette these days.
My father is currently doing chemotherapy. Radiation did not work for him. He has started his second round, and we do not know what his chances are to survive this right now. He looks and feels well so far (hasn't gotten sick from the treatments at this point). My sister and I are starting to call him Papa Roach... he is still a tough ol' SOB who is working on guns (smithing), still does his own yard work and has plans to go Elk hunting in Northern Arizona in October. The other day he brought out his new Smith and Wesson .38 Special boy toy. I'm hoping Chemo will give him more than a few years of a good life so I can really get to know the man before he is gone.
While Dad doesn't totally get the e-cig, he does know that I have quit smoking cigarettes for him, and for me. He also understands that I am no longer supporting an industry that contributed to his illness and I am no longer poisoning myself. He was aware and concerned about the FDA reports, but we've talked about it, and he understands.
For my father, I will tell every smoker I see about vaping, that it works for replacing cigarettes and it can save their life.
For my father, I will mentor new e-cig users on this forum. I hope you will also consider sending a newbie a private message, offer one on one help, maybe even offer your personal email, and provide behind the scenes personal support and time for a new vaping friend. The reward is a great one in many ways and I have made a few new friends.
So today, I win by being a non-smoker for 5 months. I feel like I have won a battle and I have to thank my dad for everything he has done for me all of these years and for supporting me while I vape.
Vicky in Arizona (aka H.A.H.)
Thanks!
