Need to up my post count.
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i just had my glass eye stolen by a bloody parrot! It took off flying west.
If either of them see you, could you let me know?
If either of them see you, could you let me know?
I need more posts as well! I read here every day, but generally if I have questions I can find them already posted here, so no need to post... But I wanted to post a picture of my dog on the pet thread and I couldn't.. Plus I have to proof-read really good because if I make a typo I can't go back and edit. This happened in my very first thread.
Hmm, well now that I go back and read it again, I don't see a typo. LOL It must have been another thread... I did notice, however, that you edited your reply in that post!
I'm sorry MissJaax,
I decided your post stood very well on it's own. No additional help was needed.
A work of art in it's own right.
It was also the funniest thing I've read in months... I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard for that long... sincerely.
Thank you so much for the laughter, even if it was unintentional.
I decided your post stood very well on it's own. No additional help was needed.
A work of art in it's own right.
It was also the funniest thing I've read in months... I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard for that long... sincerely.
Thank you so much for the laughter, even if it was unintentional.
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her peircings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion........Mom she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for ....... and ecstacy. In the meantime we will pray that the science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son,
Jon......
PS MOM, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her peircings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion........Mom she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for ....... and ecstacy. In the meantime we will pray that the science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son,
Jon......
PS MOM, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.
i thought a few of you would get a kick out of it.
more jokes
A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, 'Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.'
The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, 'No he didn't. He just walked in the door.
A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, 'Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.'
The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, 'No he didn't. He just walked in the door.
ok last one so i can go refill a drink and post threads thank god.
A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring "Run....run!"
The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!"
A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!"
The next batter held his swing at three and two and as the ump calls a walk. The Scotsman stands up yelling: "R-r-run ya Bahstard, r-r-run!" All the surrounding fans chuckle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment whispers, "He doesn't have to run, he got four balls."
"Walk with pr-r-ride man!"
A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring "Run....run!"
The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!"
A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!"
The next batter held his swing at three and two and as the ump calls a walk. The Scotsman stands up yelling: "R-r-run ya Bahstard, r-r-run!" All the surrounding fans chuckle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment whispers, "He doesn't have to run, he got four balls."
"Walk with pr-r-ride man!"
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