New to vaping and having trouble letting go....

[Freaknugget]

Well I have been vaping for a month now and still can't quite end the cigarettes. My wife is a smoker of habit and I'm a hardcore addict. She agreed to quit when I started vaping and I was off the smokes for over a week until she started again. She works 4 full days away then is home for 4 straight. When she is gone I'm fine I can even get past the morning cigarette without much issue BUT as soon as she comes home she smells of smoke and throws her pack on the table and leaves it there.

Take a ...... junkie who has been clean a week and glad for it but only for a week then throw a bag in front of them and leave the room for 5 min. Guess what happens next?

She seems to think I'm over reacting when I complain and even has made fun of me because I can't help but cave in when the means are there. Usually within 24 hours I buy a pack and smoke until she is gone then when the pack runs out and I have no problems with being smoke free until she gets home again and repeat.

Am I just over reacting and using her habit as an excuse to keep smoking? Any helpful hints on trying to up my willpower when she is around?

Thanks for any help you can offer!

 

[keyofhappy]

i personally think she should be more willing to help you on your journey to quit smoking, and switch to a great smoking alternative. what are you vaping on? the device i used greatly changed my chances to quit smoking, considering i quit without meaning to.

 

[Cronus6]

Honestly, as long as it's helping you cut down on the number of analogs it's "working" IMO.

Smoking is bad, smoking less is better, not smoking at all is great.

 

[WomanOfHeart]

Lots of things can trigger the addict in us to pick up the habit again. She said she would quit when you started vaping, but she really hasn't. That could be setting you off and it sounds like she might be sabotaging your efforts, too. I know that sounds harsh, but maybe she just can't stand the fact that she HASN'T quit (or doesn't want to) and something inside her wants to see you fail. That way if you try to get her to start vaping, she can say "Well, it didn't work for you so it won't work for me, either."

Which nicotine level are you currently vaping and which e-cig are you using? If you're using a low nic level you might think about raising it a little. Making the switch sometimes takes a longer for people. I wouldn't knock yourself too hard about that. I'm also going to suggest that you vape more when she's around. Whenever you feel the urge, vape instead. Eventually it'll get to the point where the smell and the taste are so completely offensive you won't want to smoke. Just stick with it and remember that even if you only cut down on the number of cigarettes that you smoke, it's still less than you were smoking before you started vaping.

Welcome to ECF! We're here to help and support you!

 

[jj2]

Well, at least for a little bit, it would be helpful if she modify her behavior to help you along.

I take it that her limiting smoking to a room you don't frequent that much is out of the question.

Has she tried vaping? If she liked it just a little bit, she could do it in the house which means she could leave the analogs in her car. If nothing else, if there is a pack laying around, and you notice it, don't go in the room. I know, a pain-in-the-...., but she isn't going to like that either.
And if she did change for you a bit, you're going to have to change too and learn how to deal with the lingering smell.

 

[WyattDerp]

Well, first off welcome Freaknugget. I, along with my mother and her boyfriend, also quit analogs at the exact same time. So far I'm the only one who has stuck with it. I wholeheartedly love vaping, I love knowing that I can use nicotine without robbing my kids of their time with Daddy but I still get tempted to smoke an analog if mom has them around. I have had to distance myself from her while I get adjusted to this new life and I hope that they will be able to make the switch like I have. Good luck and Godspeed.

 

[Freaknugget]

Well I'm using a 510 and generally using 1.8 %liquid. It seems to work fine as long as the temptation of easily stealing a smoke isn't there.

My wife isn't even smoking inside but she leaves her pack on the table and I just can't stay out of it. I have asked her to at least leave it in the car but she is unwilling at this point. She HAS tried vaping and is unimpressed. I think it's psychological in some way because as a self stated hardcore addict I found it quite easy to switch to the ecig when she had quit too. She can go a day without smoking and not notice so for her it truly is only a habit. I recently got some fruit flavors and she seems to like them but is still unwilling to just have a vape instead of going for a smoke.

I suppose maybe it is just me, I can't pull together the willpower to ignore smokes when they are available.

 

[Cronus6]

Well, at least for a little bit, it would be helpful if she modify her behavior to help you along.

I take it that her limiting smoking to a room you don't frequent that much is out of the question.

Has she tried vaping? If she liked it just a little bit, she could do it in the house which means she could leave the analogs in her car. If nothing else, if there is a pack laying around, and you notice it, don't go in the room. I know, a pain-in-the-...., but she isn't going to like that either.
And if she did change for you a bit, you're going to have to change too and learn how to deal with the lingering smell.

While I agree that it would be nice if she was more helpful with the transition, everyone deals with addictions differently.
Kinda like alcohol, if she's not "ready" to quit, she ain't going to. And some people get kinda ...... off when they lose their "drinking buddy" or in this case "smoking buddy" and "act out". (Making fun of, ridiculing etc.)

At the end of the day, you can only control yourself. Not you wife, not your kids, no one but yourself.

The best he can hope to do is try his best to stick with his PV, and let her do whatever she's going to do. Ignore it and she may come around when she sees in a few days/weeks/months that it really has helped him quit.

 

[jj2]

Well I'm using a 510 and generally using 1.8 %liquid. It seems to work fine as long as the temptation of easily stealing a smoke isn't there.

My wife isn't even smoking inside but she leaves her pack on the table and I just can't stay out of it. I have asked her to at least leave it in the car but she is unwilling at this point. She HAS tried vaping and is unimpressed. I think it's psychological in some way because as a self stated hardcore addict I found it quite easy to switch to the ecig when she had quit too. She can go a day without smoking and not notice so for her it truly is only a habit. I recently got some fruit flavors and she seems to like them but is still unwilling to just have a vape instead of going for a smoke.

I suppose maybe it is just me, I can't pull together the willpower to ignore smokes when they are available.

With a little determination, that will come. Stick with! it!!

 

[Eddie.Willers]

Firstly, welcome to ECF and congratulations on making the change. This is a great forum, full of good people only too ready to offer help and support - I cannot praise this community highly enough.

Others have made solid and sensible suggestions and I agree that it's a little sad that you don't seem to be getting quite the level of support you might expect from your other half.

Don't give up! Let her see that it DOES work, it IS enjoyable and CAN make a BIG difference - to your health and finances.

Good luck and keep us all up to date on what happens, eh?

 

[Freaknugget]

Thanks to everyone for the help and support. I suppose I was perhaps naive in thinking it'd be as easy as going electronic and not looking back. It almost was but it seems most who have switched without any problems tend not to live with another smoker. Well she goes back to work tomorrow night with luck I can keep my dang hands off her butts when she comes home!

On another note I'm VERY impressed with the resources here! Awesome guides and explanations to a great deal of questions I have had over the last month!

 

[AttyPops]

It's different for all of us. We have to approach it in our own way. That said, IDK what to tell you.

* I can be supportive ("Dang wife... why does she do that... is she sabotaging your quitting?") or
* scared strait ("Get lung cancer then") or
* get real ("You have to want to quit")
* or avoid it ("you'll get there eventually... rah rah rah")
* rebellious ("Beat the Government Taxes and Big Tobacco and VAPE")

or a whole bunch of other stuff. The reality is that you have to find what works for you. My GF still smokes. She tried e-cigs. Still uses her eGo sometimes. Smokes around me too. I'm cool with it. See that's her. Not me. I don't smoke. Haven't even grabbed a single cig.

One thing that may help you. After a week, you realize that smoke SMELL. After a month, in particular if you convince her to smoke outside, you'll be like a non-smoker.... and hate the taste and smell.

In the end, it's up to you. Not her. Sorry dude.

However, you can look on the bright side..... e-cigs have save you from a bunch of analogs already. Whether you have quit completely or not. My favorite stories are the ones where people used e-cigs to cut down.... then forgot to smoke. lol. Happens over time.

Good Luck.

 

[Rosa]

PS: 1.8% is 18mg

I couldn't have stopped smoking cigarettes using 18mg juice, I needed at least 24mg to get there (and A LOT of it) and now I'm fairly comfortable at 36mg.

Here are a couple of things you can try:
• get some 24mg juice and some 36mg juice to try
• when you want to smoke just make a deal with yourself that you'll vape for 10-15 minutes using your 24 or 36mg juice and THEN if you still want to smoke then go ahead... but EVERY time you want to smoke you MUST vape for at least 10 minutes first. (just try it...)

Good luck!

 

[AttyPops]

• when you want to smoke just make a deal with yourself that you'll vape for 10-15 minutes using your 24 or 36mg juice and THEN if you still want to smoke then go ahead... but EVERY time you want to smoke you MUST vape for at least 10 minutes first. (just try it...)

Looks like one of the best deals anyone could make with themselves, for themselves. I like that one a lot. While you do it... notice your triggers too.

 

[OldDragon]

If she is just letting the cigs set out on a table/insight, then get a box(maybe with a lid) to put the cigs and ash trays in. They can set in the box and be out of sight/mind.

 

[mergryphon]

Welcome to ECF, and don't be discouraged! Any cigarette you've avoided is a WIN!

I started vaping in November 2009. I gave up in frustration for a few months in 2010 and went back to analogs. I've finally been analog free for about 4 months. I couldn't do it until I found some juices I loved, and devices that worked for me. Those specifically were bottom feeders like the REO and Low Resistance atomizers.

Different things work for different people. If what you have is not working for you, try some other things until you find what works, no pressure, take your time!