I walked into a B&M vape shop that had recently opened with my Mum back in April this year.
I had no intention of quitting smoking, I was 28 (turned 29 in September) and had been smoking since I was 13. At age 19 I found I had developed asthma and was told I should quit smoking, I had no intention of doing so and just used my inhalers. Over the next few years my chest got worse and worse, my steroid inhalers were constantly being changed to stronger ones, I'd regularly get chest infections every 3-4 months and would have a week of antibiotics, followed by 10 days of antibiotics and tablet steroids as the first bout of antibiotics never worked, and occasionally I would need a further 5 days of the steroids if my chest was really bad.
I knew from the state of my chest that I would end up with COPD like my maternal grandparents have got, and my parternal grandmother had for the last 18 years of her life, she passed away after getting a chest infection that was too much for her - but my addiction was such that the memory of my Nana on oxygen every time we visited, or seeing how much my other Nana and Grandad struggle day to day with their lung problems was enough for me to break the habit. I figured I was young and it would be many years before I ended up like them - I was obviously kidding myself as I was on the same inhalers as my Grandad by the time I was 23.
When I fell pregnant at 22 with my eldest son I decided I would quit for my unborn child, it was 3 days before I was sneaking fags, within a few weeks I was blatantly smoking as normal and ignoring the dirty looks I got from having a ... in my mouth with a bump and secretly worrying my smoking would cause my baby problems when he or she was born.
Thankfully my son arrived perfectly healthy and to this day is rarely ill, I only have a higher power to thank for that.
Once my son had arrived I took to smoking outside the flat, however once winter kicked in I kidded myself I'd be fine smoking in the bathroom with the extractor fan on, my addiction to cigs overruled my care for my baby's health.
2 years later I fell pregnant with youngest son, I went to a smoking cessation service after telling my midwife I knew I shouldn't smoke and I knew I was lucky that my eldest was perfect and healthy, but I just couldn't quit with willpower alone.
The smoking cessation bloke was really nice and understanding, he prescribed 2 weeks of patches and an inhaler thingy for when I got a bad craving.
I'm shamed to say it was 4 days before I scabbed a ciggy off my Mam
the NRT just felt like nothing and the inhaler thing was rubbish, felt like trying to puff on a straw, I appreciate that for some people these traditional NRT's work, but for me it didn't even take the edge off my cravings and I turned into a ratty, nasty, grouchy cow.
This pregnancy wasn't as straight forward though, a scan at 28 weeks showed my baby had stopped growing since the 20 week scan, the doctors said it could be anything that caused it, but I deeply suspected it was either my bipolar meds or my smoking. They kept me in for another 6 weeks then decided it was too risky to leave him inside me and I had to be induced.
My baby boy was tiny, he had to have a kidney scan and an eye test (which both turned out fine to my huge relief and prayers of thanks) - he has now, at last caught up and surpassed other kids the same age in height and weight, however he does catch every little cough and cold going round and it hits him hard, but generally he is very healthy now and very happy.
I doubt I'll ever forgive myself for smoking whilst pregnant, the worry I had, especially with my youngest with him stopping growing and the tests they had to do, was immense, I love my boys more than life itself - but still fags came before their health
I was still kidding myself it was fine to smoke in the bathroom, I also justified smoking with them in the car as long as I had a window open - which of course is crap.
My Dad got diagnosed with COPD and my Mum smokers lung, they both quit successfully with Champix, as my chest infections were getting more frequent and I had a permanent cough and rattle on my chest, I asked the doctor about Champix myself, but I wasn't allowed it as I have bipolar.
I decided to try Nicolites, a cig a like disposable e-cig, as did my brother.
They were awful! I stuck at it for about 2 days before going back to real ciggies, the Nicolites tasted awful and they hurt my throat. My brother found them just as bad (he'd tried NRT's and Champix too but always ended up smoking again).
After that I resigned myself to being a smoker for life and more than likely ending up with my chest as bad as parents and grandparents, if not worse as my chest was pretty bad at that age already.
My parents stayed smoke free, however they'd both put a lot of weight on in the 12 months since they quit, so they decided to try Nicolites to see if they would help the weight come off and kill the odd cravings they got.
6 months after they started the cig-a-likes a vape shop opened up 10 minutes down the road from their house. I took the boys round to see my Mam one morning and she asked if we could nip in there on the way to the park as she was getting fed up with the batteries dying and dud cartridges with the cig-a-likes and wanted to see if the shop had anything better. I said yeah as it was on the way, but had no intention of getting anything myself - I figured it was just a con and whatever they had would be as bad as the cig-a-likes I'd tried.
We got in the shop and my Mum started chatting to the woman behind the counter about her dissatisfaction with her cig-a-like and did the shop have anything better while I stood to the side with the kids.
The woman offered my Mum to try some of the testers, which she did and decided to buy herself a double kit and let my Dad try hers.
When the woman had shown my Mam how to set it up and charge and fill, my Mam stood looking at the juices deciding which 3 to pick - whilst waiting for her to choose, the woman turned to me and asked if I smoked, I said yeah and she asked had I thought about quitting, I said I'd tried several times with willpower and various NRT's and the cig-a-likes of course, but they just didn't work for me. She then said 'but you've not tried vaping?'
I went 'isn't it just the same as them cig-a-likes?' To which she told me it wasn't, it was a thousand times better and why didn't I try the testers, which I did, not expecting much, but I was amazed and something clicked inside me that said, hey, this could work!
I bought a double kit too (2 ego 900mah battery's, 2 ce5's, charger, filling bottle and 3 juices) I went for redbull, fruit mix and tobacco flavours.
By the end of that day I'd only had 2 more fags.
The following day 1 cig which tasted foul and from then on vaping full time at 18mg nic, I passed the tobacco juice to my Dad as I didn't like it.
I started discovering better juices and a few weeks in got myself an ego twist and vivi nova tank, which made vaping even better for me.
I had two more cigs in June as I lost my PV on the train and bought a 10 deck to tide me over til I got home to my spare, the cigs tasted disgusting and the smell was awful, made me feel sick.
I decided as I had to get another PV I'd go for a Vamo and a protank - I was in love, vape was perfect!
I'm now just trying out different mods, got a mech on order, learnt how to rewick my protank and I've got a kayfun clone on it's way too as I'm enjoying making my own coil and wicks. I've got a dripper on my wish list and would love a provari
3 weeks ago I actually dropped to 12mg nic and have stuck with it, vaped like mad for a few days but now it's normal, still no urge for fags!
I'm hoping to successfully drop to 6/8mg nic in the new year, and some point after that 0 nic and vape for pleasure, rather than pleasure and needing nicotine.
My chest has improved so much I only need inhalers when I have a bad cold, I no longer wheeze and cough constantly, my eldest son is made up that Mama doesn't smoke anymore - as are my partner and GP.
For anyone who's debating whether to start vaping and wondering if it's just as awful as standard NRT's or cig-a-like disposables, I can hand on heart tell you it's a million times better and it works so well I would cry my eyes out should vaping be banned.
Vaping has improved my health and self-esteem greatly and it's developed into a wonderful little hobby for me too
Apologies for the essay, just thought I'd share my journey so far.
I had no intention of quitting smoking, I was 28 (turned 29 in September) and had been smoking since I was 13. At age 19 I found I had developed asthma and was told I should quit smoking, I had no intention of doing so and just used my inhalers. Over the next few years my chest got worse and worse, my steroid inhalers were constantly being changed to stronger ones, I'd regularly get chest infections every 3-4 months and would have a week of antibiotics, followed by 10 days of antibiotics and tablet steroids as the first bout of antibiotics never worked, and occasionally I would need a further 5 days of the steroids if my chest was really bad.
I knew from the state of my chest that I would end up with COPD like my maternal grandparents have got, and my parternal grandmother had for the last 18 years of her life, she passed away after getting a chest infection that was too much for her - but my addiction was such that the memory of my Nana on oxygen every time we visited, or seeing how much my other Nana and Grandad struggle day to day with their lung problems was enough for me to break the habit. I figured I was young and it would be many years before I ended up like them - I was obviously kidding myself as I was on the same inhalers as my Grandad by the time I was 23.
When I fell pregnant at 22 with my eldest son I decided I would quit for my unborn child, it was 3 days before I was sneaking fags, within a few weeks I was blatantly smoking as normal and ignoring the dirty looks I got from having a ... in my mouth with a bump and secretly worrying my smoking would cause my baby problems when he or she was born.
Thankfully my son arrived perfectly healthy and to this day is rarely ill, I only have a higher power to thank for that.
Once my son had arrived I took to smoking outside the flat, however once winter kicked in I kidded myself I'd be fine smoking in the bathroom with the extractor fan on, my addiction to cigs overruled my care for my baby's health.
2 years later I fell pregnant with youngest son, I went to a smoking cessation service after telling my midwife I knew I shouldn't smoke and I knew I was lucky that my eldest was perfect and healthy, but I just couldn't quit with willpower alone.
The smoking cessation bloke was really nice and understanding, he prescribed 2 weeks of patches and an inhaler thingy for when I got a bad craving.
I'm shamed to say it was 4 days before I scabbed a ciggy off my Mam
the NRT just felt like nothing and the inhaler thing was rubbish, felt like trying to puff on a straw, I appreciate that for some people these traditional NRT's work, but for me it didn't even take the edge off my cravings and I turned into a ratty, nasty, grouchy cow. This pregnancy wasn't as straight forward though, a scan at 28 weeks showed my baby had stopped growing since the 20 week scan, the doctors said it could be anything that caused it, but I deeply suspected it was either my bipolar meds or my smoking. They kept me in for another 6 weeks then decided it was too risky to leave him inside me and I had to be induced.
My baby boy was tiny, he had to have a kidney scan and an eye test (which both turned out fine to my huge relief and prayers of thanks) - he has now, at last caught up and surpassed other kids the same age in height and weight, however he does catch every little cough and cold going round and it hits him hard, but generally he is very healthy now and very happy.
I doubt I'll ever forgive myself for smoking whilst pregnant, the worry I had, especially with my youngest with him stopping growing and the tests they had to do, was immense, I love my boys more than life itself - but still fags came before their health
I was still kidding myself it was fine to smoke in the bathroom, I also justified smoking with them in the car as long as I had a window open - which of course is crap.
My Dad got diagnosed with COPD and my Mum smokers lung, they both quit successfully with Champix, as my chest infections were getting more frequent and I had a permanent cough and rattle on my chest, I asked the doctor about Champix myself, but I wasn't allowed it as I have bipolar.
I decided to try Nicolites, a cig a like disposable e-cig, as did my brother.
They were awful! I stuck at it for about 2 days before going back to real ciggies, the Nicolites tasted awful and they hurt my throat. My brother found them just as bad (he'd tried NRT's and Champix too but always ended up smoking again).
After that I resigned myself to being a smoker for life and more than likely ending up with my chest as bad as parents and grandparents, if not worse as my chest was pretty bad at that age already.
My parents stayed smoke free, however they'd both put a lot of weight on in the 12 months since they quit, so they decided to try Nicolites to see if they would help the weight come off and kill the odd cravings they got.
6 months after they started the cig-a-likes a vape shop opened up 10 minutes down the road from their house. I took the boys round to see my Mam one morning and she asked if we could nip in there on the way to the park as she was getting fed up with the batteries dying and dud cartridges with the cig-a-likes and wanted to see if the shop had anything better. I said yeah as it was on the way, but had no intention of getting anything myself - I figured it was just a con and whatever they had would be as bad as the cig-a-likes I'd tried.
We got in the shop and my Mum started chatting to the woman behind the counter about her dissatisfaction with her cig-a-like and did the shop have anything better while I stood to the side with the kids.
The woman offered my Mum to try some of the testers, which she did and decided to buy herself a double kit and let my Dad try hers.
When the woman had shown my Mam how to set it up and charge and fill, my Mam stood looking at the juices deciding which 3 to pick - whilst waiting for her to choose, the woman turned to me and asked if I smoked, I said yeah and she asked had I thought about quitting, I said I'd tried several times with willpower and various NRT's and the cig-a-likes of course, but they just didn't work for me. She then said 'but you've not tried vaping?'
I went 'isn't it just the same as them cig-a-likes?' To which she told me it wasn't, it was a thousand times better and why didn't I try the testers, which I did, not expecting much, but I was amazed and something clicked inside me that said, hey, this could work!
I bought a double kit too (2 ego 900mah battery's, 2 ce5's, charger, filling bottle and 3 juices) I went for redbull, fruit mix and tobacco flavours.
By the end of that day I'd only had 2 more fags.
The following day 1 cig which tasted foul and from then on vaping full time at 18mg nic, I passed the tobacco juice to my Dad as I didn't like it.
I started discovering better juices and a few weeks in got myself an ego twist and vivi nova tank, which made vaping even better for me.
I had two more cigs in June as I lost my PV on the train and bought a 10 deck to tide me over til I got home to my spare, the cigs tasted disgusting and the smell was awful, made me feel sick.
I decided as I had to get another PV I'd go for a Vamo and a protank - I was in love, vape was perfect!
I'm now just trying out different mods, got a mech on order, learnt how to rewick my protank and I've got a kayfun clone on it's way too as I'm enjoying making my own coil and wicks. I've got a dripper on my wish list and would love a provari
3 weeks ago I actually dropped to 12mg nic and have stuck with it, vaped like mad for a few days but now it's normal, still no urge for fags!
I'm hoping to successfully drop to 6/8mg nic in the new year, and some point after that 0 nic and vape for pleasure, rather than pleasure and needing nicotine.
My chest has improved so much I only need inhalers when I have a bad cold, I no longer wheeze and cough constantly, my eldest son is made up that Mama doesn't smoke anymore - as are my partner and GP.
For anyone who's debating whether to start vaping and wondering if it's just as awful as standard NRT's or cig-a-like disposables, I can hand on heart tell you it's a million times better and it works so well I would cry my eyes out should vaping be banned.
Vaping has improved my health and self-esteem greatly and it's developed into a wonderful little hobby for me too
Apologies for the essay, just thought I'd share my journey so far.
