Slave's virginal morning <update>
Hopped out of bed n nabbed the bat out of the charger. opened dresser drawer containing the two prepped tanks, put em in my case. Paused, usually do my first morning analog on by drive in to work, decided ok will hit the Triton first smoke break at work deciding maybe first time while driving might be to much (this would prove rather prophetic) <fast forward>
First break, nab Halo case n head out to the break area. Open it up, errrrrr ok what was my system last night for distinguishin my two different juices errrrrr dammit was Mystic the one with tip cover or was that Menthol Ice gaaaah oh well I'll figure it out next refill.
Fluff seat cushion to make nice n soopar comfy for this moment of awesomeness. Quickly poke my power button 5 times, eyes sparkle with the perdy green of my powah button comin to life, thissssssssssss isss goooonnnnnna be sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
Review in my head what I know, k 1 second prepuff before the power button <check> 4 to 5 second slow pull (not like a cig ya noob <check> nuther 1 second pull with finger off the power <check> leeeets do dis!
Begin my pre-power up-puff.....oh hey my Triton whistles.......must bring that up in forum (counts one-one thousand in head)
Poke the power button n marvel at my light saber glow, remind myself keep dis to mouth inhale (i'm pretty confident I know what this means) countin in my head one-one thousand, two one thousand (my cheeks are beginning to resemble a chipmunk) three one thousand........suddenly the cross between a hiccup and a cough-sneeze hybrid grips me thereby tossing what till now I am sure is a soopar professional mouth inhale with cute chipmunkface, I have gasped the vapes in my mouth involuntarily (oh disss tastes very very good, this is nummy......errrrr why does my tongue feel like a frozen cottonball) my throat is seized by minty icey hell that quickly transfers to my chest, inexplicably I am still attempting to count in my head between what have now become full blown pot head coughing, again inexplicable I am still attempting to maintain the explained technique time line......my smokers lungs betray me......trying to maintain a steady inhale, for what to this point should be 6 seconds......falls apart, my right eyeball develops an inexplicable twitch, for some reason wheezals 8-bit pixels pop in me head chanting CHOO CHOO!!!!! I jerk my finger off the power button, then curse (ya foorgooooooooot the one second follow thruuuuuuuuuu) attempting to re-engage my drip tip to remedy this results in rapid fire coughs that make sparklies appear, for some reason one side of my tongue feels like sand paper while I am pretty sure I have lost feeling of the other. Remembers Ms Angi's advice tellin me to put dis down that it wont burn...proceed to cough like I have taken my epic .... hit after a junior high school dance.
After cough/tears/sparklies and small amount of streaming boogers subsides....I raise me shiny emerald Triton feeling somewhat betrayed (somewhere in the back of my head wheezal is sayin sagely, ya shud have took dee booz) I notice my prior full tank has gone from 2.4 to right around the 2.2 line errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I sit n ponder, reflect (contemplate the random sparkly that floats by in my vision) what could I have done differently, I had this down man (I knew what went wrong but I was in denial) I freeeeakin hit it like a damn cig, like poooooooooooooowah drag <facepalm> translating SLOW to take SLOW HOOVER LIKE DRAG
Armed with this knowledge breakthrough (cracks neck) lets do dis!!
Begin prep-puff TENTATIVELY...no whistle, good sign (tho slightly disappointing I kina like the note)
hit the power button, count in my head, trying to maintain soopar skeered steady puff, so far so good no throat seizing/chest debilitating cough-sneeze (stop short of the professional mouth inhale chipmunk face)
finger off nuther second of the puff....k I got dis dude!!
Hold da vape in my mouth as instructed....why is there suddenly a Cujo amount of slobber in my mouth, put this problem to back of my head for now. after 2 second pause begin my nose exhale. Again inexplicably my right eye begins to twitch and my nose suddenly feels like I have run outside buck .... nekkid in the middle of December instantaneously freeze drying boogers along the way, slow gentle exhale has morphed into a very ticked off puff the magic you have peed in my cherrios esque the dragon stream of vapor.....again I look at my shiny emerald Triton feeling again slightly betrayed. No coughing +1 (Borat high five)
Pause for another minute per Ms Angi's advice. Cracks fingers, neck, makes tough guy nose sniff, dis time we are gonna rock this!
Begin pre-puff, hit the power button after baby puff. Have thrown dis counting crap out the window, very gentle puff till I feel the onset of soopar cute professional chipmunk face, let off power button, slight puff. Hold for about second and begin mah exhale (for some reason Wheezal is in the back of my mind at this point singing "Hits from the Bo...you know the song) SUCCESS!! I jump up preparing to launch into the soopar excited pygmy whoop when suddenly the earths axis has flipped (wuh da FAQ!!) ohhhhhhhhhh yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this is da ya noob ya over nic'd moment geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo Slave has learned
1) We may need to dial down nic level, but too soon to tell
2) Choo choo whistle (tho very entertaining) is bad
3) Counting in your head is overthinkin, we will pause before chipmunk face n calls it good
4) Pretty sure we had Mystic one and it is ssssssssoooooooooooooper nummy, tryin Ice next go