This was Clark the Cat and he was Samuel J Dogg's best friend. We had another cat and I was thinking about getting another one to keep her company. I was on an account call at Baxter down the street from the shelter and had 2 hours between appointments. I went into the cat house to look around. I saw this big fat ugly smelly cat on a shelf with no hair on the tips of his ears. He was asleep and his eyes werent shut all the way and they looked in opposite directions. While I was staring at him, he opened his eyes and breathed on me. He had bad breath. I mean almost enough to make you gag. He woke up and reached out and touched my face. I stepped away and thought no one is going to adopt him. I walked around looking at other cats and he jumped out 6 feet and landed on my head, scaring the crap out of me. I picked him off my head and he licked me on the nose and I set him down on a shelf and walked away again. Two minutes later he jumped off the shelf, across the dog house roof in the middle of the cat room and landed on my shoulder from behind, once more scaring the crap out of me. He looked me in the eyes and licked my nose. Man his breath was horrible! I put him back down and he did it again, so I carried him around a bit figuring he was lonely. He nearly fell asleep in my arms and started purring, well, more like snoring. I thought no one else would want him since he stunk to high heaven, had no hair on ears and had eyes pointing in opposite directions. I also thought that any cat who would jump on your head 3 times just for affection needs a good home.
I went on my appointment and came back. Clark jumped off the shelf when I got near him and I called my wife while I carried him around and said we need this cat. She said No, we dont need another cat. I said This isnt a cat, its golden retriever trapped in a cats body, trust me, youll like him. She relented and with her on the phone, the folks let me adopt him with her approval. He peed in the cardboard cat box on the way home! For the rest of the time we owned that car it smelled like cat pee when ever it rained. I had to pour
So I bring this big ugly stinky cat home and my wife takes one look at him and says oh my god he stinks to high heaven! Take him back! I said "I can't until morning, I'll give him a bath and see if it helps" I gave him not one, but two baths, which was like wrestling an alligator. As I was drying him, I turned on the hairdryer and he jumped straight into the wall headfirst and fell to the ground, his eyes going in opposite directions again looking like Sylvester after a failed attempt to get Tweety.
Later that night, he crawled into my wifes arms like a baby and fell asleep there. It was at that moment she fell in love with him. He slept with her like that every night for 15 years. With good food, his breath returned to normal and the hair on his ears grew back. His eyes still look in opposite directions when he is getting petted but even they straightened out.
Turns out those 3 jumps he made on me were about his last physical activity for the next 10 years or so. It was like owning a
throw pillow that ate. My friend Dean would come over to watch movies and Clark would sit on his leg and stare at the screen and neither one would move for 6 hours. We started to say Clark had a no running policy. Then we started getting mice in our home. Then, hes become a one cat army, defending our home with speed and agility we didnt know he had.
Clark become a celebrity of sorts. People would fight over being able to hold him. You could twist him into these odd positions and he'd just stay there. He was a house cat, but when he would sneak out, he just goes from porch to porch on our side of the street and visits the neighbors. Once he has had a nice visit with them, and he comes back home. One weekend I got sick with pneumonia and Clark got bite by a neighbor dog. Half a dozen people stopped by the house......to see if Clark was ok! I'm like, "..., I had pneumonia and no one is visiting me! Clark gets a scratch and its a parade!"
He passed away at 18 years old. Man I miss that cat.
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