Teens smoking these days aren't doing it in public. They know. As far as my kiddo picking up smoking, he did tell me, which I appreciated. It did allow me to steer him to vaping, and as a smoker, I was most relieved when he took to the habit, and even more relieved that he quit completely. I doubt he would have done so without vaping, kicking a cig habit is DIFFICULT.
I like to think that my calm demeanor and lack of judgment helped (actually, with all the things he tried.) Even when I was arraigning him from jail, I wasn't feeling judgy, just hopeful things would work out okay (and they did). I was open with my kiddo about my younger years growing up and as a single mom, I dragged him to a lot of AA meetings. He knew about addiction and went ahead anyway, but it wasn't for lack of education. My education was in the
hopes that once he started down that teen route (it was inevitable in some ways) that he could get out of it more quickly.
It's amazing how he started applying that knowledge once facing 15 years in jail, and then having to go through probation for 9 months (he didn't get jail time, but he didn't enjoy probation one bit. So, I'm glad I was open , and that I didn't get mad. It's hard not to get mad at one's kid in such situations, but for me it would've been the HEIGHT of hypocrisy.
I do think that what I did helped, overall, and I don't regret a single thing.
Anna