The Twisted Wish Game

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. That'll be $200k for a 6-hour orbit around earth. Will that be cash or charge?

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♫ I wish I was in the land of Dixie.... ? ♫

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Abracadabra -- you're in the land of dixie circa 1866, not the best time to be a carpetbagger!!!

I wish we had space mining now, I thought I was going to have that opportunity in my lifetime.......

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted shortly after gold is discovered on your land making it worth about 5 cents a pound.

I wish it was January 1st already. Time is dragging

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* wish granted - It is now January 1st, 2212. Everyone you know and loved is gone, but hey, there is space travel now!


I wish for good luck in AC this weekend!

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. You found a lucky penny. Woohoo!

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I wish my washer and dryer wouldn't waste so much water and electricity.

 

[Taintedhalo]

Wish Granted are you enjoying the scrub board and clothes line?

I wish to buy the world a coke...

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. Unfortunately, the world that enabled you to buy the world a coke has changed radically. It has completely gone corporate and it's owned by Pepsi. You get arrested for being a COKE dealer. You'll be out of prison in 25 years with good behaviour.

Well, that isn't going to happen. The Mars corporation has accused you of trying to smuggle a Snickers bar on your way in to the big house. They won't listen to your howls of protest. You really should eat more fiber and drink more water.

---

I wish I could go to sleep at a more reasonable time.

 

[InsertWittyNameHere]

Poof, you can sleep at a reasonable time now, unfortunately it's european time and you slept through work and got fired. But at least you are well rested.

I wish I could be home for Christmas.

 

[bamsbbq]

alacazam...your wish is granted...you are home unfortunately, its your home 40 years ago and its now the 60's again.

i wish for the perfect chocolate diy liquid.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. The perfect chocolate, surprisingly, is made with human flesh. You should really think about cutting down on your nic. The bodies are really starting to pile up.

I wish nicotine was non-addictive.

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted your not addicted to the nicotine your addicted to the carbon monoxide. Have fun vaping your old Buick.

I wish I could win the powerball.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. Now your dishes are extra clean and shiny. Now, if only you could afford to pay someone else to do 'em ...



I wish farts would come with a 5-second warning.

 

[TomCatt]

*** Dang it Bob!

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Shazam!!! Your farts come with a five second warning -- but the stenchier the flatulence the louder the alarm bell rings that is implanted in your colon -- but at least people would know when they have to break into a sprint!!!

I wish I knew who was the Duke of Love

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. It's this guy.



I wish junk food was more nutritious.

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted except now it all tastes like broccoli.

I wish there was more hours in a day

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Voila! the earth's rotation slows and gravity lessens, the atmosphere starts spinning off into space!

I wish you could have a video replay of your life available........

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. It's playing on America's Funniest Home Videos. Don't you wish you could wipe that video remotely now?

I wish toplessness was guaranteed in the bill of rights.

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Huzzah!!! (Had to use a new word!!!) Men have the right to be topless everywhere and fat guy man-boobs become the bane of the vidsion of all right-thinking people everywhere!!!!8-o-o8-o (How come most of the people you see topless you don't want to?!???!?!?!)

I wish I could swear on the forum like I do in real life....

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted.
1. You let loose on the forums with, "You f--ing, m----f--ing, c---ks----r, sh-t, p--s, a--hat, f--kw-d. S--k my b-lls you crusty b-ttho--! I cr-p turds better than you!" (You mean it in a good way, though. No name calling in the forums, eh?) See? No problem. There's just the little matter of filling in the blanks, but people can generally figure out what you mean.

2. Thanks to UrbanDictionary, you pick up new terms that escape the censor list: Cleveland Steamer, Hot Carl, Dirty Sanchez, up the gary, dutch oven, baking brownies, punch a grumpy, bloody tosser, bumbo-rass-claat (Jamaican), Ma vattelo a pigliare in culo!, etc.

Merry Christmas, eh?

I wish my credit card bills were paid off already.