The Twisted Wish Game

[Paislia]

Oh, your credit card bills are paid off all right, and the tax man wants to know how. You are now the subject of high scrutiny and a 15 year audit. The tax man follows you everywhere including the can to make sure you are not muling for the cartels. Daily orifice probes commence.

I wish a cared enough to wish for an end to apathy everywhere.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. You are now a serious boozer. You can't let anyone go without stumbling over, giving them a big awkward hug and saying, "I love you man!" Now you just wish you cared more about finding a bathroom instead of just letting loose in your pants.

I wish computers were smaller.

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted computers are smaller than a matchbook now surfing smut really does make you go blind

I wish I had a coffee plantation in Jamaica.

 

[Yeah_its_me]

Viola...your wish is granted and you own a beautiful bountiful coffee plantation unfortunately you have nothing to grind with.

I wish I could fly

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*poof* wish granted...as you are leaving work you are hit by a bus in a situation similar to the movie speed, but with a not so jolly fat man at the wheel and 300lb donut eating cop. The 15 seconds of flight were not as enjoyable as you had hoped.

I wish I could win every contest I entered!

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Voila!! You do but you just make me that more whiny and miserable -- is that what you really want?!??!?!?

I wish I knew if there was a Dark Side of the Moon......

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. Privatized space travel has become a reality and you win the mother lode of all contests. You win a trip to the moon. So, you're on the moon and you grab the lunar rover that's just been sitting there all these years and you take it on a joyride to the side of the moon where the sun currently isn't shining. Whee! You don't even notice the giant crater until you're way inside it. Everything is cool so far, but you can't see an effing thing! How the hell are you going to get out?

You radio for assistance explaining your situation. Well, you were told to keep close to the ship and the forms you signed put any liability for your situation squarely on you. Also, it turns out there is no side of the moon kept in perpetual darkness. That was just wishful thinking on Pink Floyd's part. But, as you just found out, the moon can get pretty effing dark!

There's no way anyone else can locate you and help you back. If you had a couple of wishes left, now would be a good time to wish for a few more hours of air in your spacesuit to sort everything out. Gulp!

---

I wish fish tasted more like chicken and less like fish.

 

[Spartan8029]

Ta da, your fish now tastes like chicken but because of oil spills in the gulf, your fish has feathers. Children all over the world now order fish stick happy meals causing obesity to drop in children by over 80%!

I wish I had a lambo!

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted you have a beautiful red Lamborghini. However all the tree hugging hippies finally won and fossil fuels are outlawed your new environmentally friendly electric Prius / mini cooper hybrid looking Lamborghini can actually reach speeds up to 15 mph.

I wish ripple would win something.

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Poof!!! I win something and then disappear from the forums, my mission complete......... But that may not be a bad thing according to some........

I wish Lox and BBNJ all the happiness one couple can have!!!

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. Lox and Beebop are really happy. And smug. Unbelievably, annoyingly smug. You start wishing there were at least one or two minor problems with their relationship. Anything. Because right now, they are really, REALLY hard to be around. You don't even want to hang out in the same forum with with them.

I wish Lindsay Lohan would release a sex tape.

 

[KimberlyM]

Poof - your wish is granted. Unfortunately she only only releases it in BetaMax

I wish the Cowboys would ever win a BIG game.

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* You are sent back to the 1800's in the "wild wild west". After watching the massacre you will never go to a native american casino again.

I wish I could stay home and play xbos all day!

 

[CrystalClaire]

Poof! Your wish is granted, however each time you touch the xbox controller, a random Nickelback song plays at full volume..


I wish I had a yacht..

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. You get a yacht..zee! Unfortunately, that was your last turn and you already burned your Yahtzee box. You score 5 in the 1s box. Your smallest kid beats you by an embarrassingly large margin. Well, it's better than being humiliated at Scrabble, again.

---

I wish carrots and peas tasted more like bacon.

 

[CrystalClaire]

Tada! Wish granted!! I wrapped each pea in the finest of bacon (not that Canadian crap.), put a carrot slice on each side to create a stunning masterpiece: the PeCarrot le Bacon Sandwich. After gently misting each piece with bacon grease, I sent the butler to your seat in the dining room, balancing the silver domed tray upon his arm..

Unfortunately, Edward Scissorhands was your butler. He dropped the tray and following the 5-second rule, skewered each tiny little sandwich from the floor with his scissor fingers and licked them clean..


I wish I had a time machine

 

[bobsyeruncle]

C'mon, how can you be dissing back bacon, eh?!

....

Poof! Wish granted. You inherit a pocket watch from your dearly departed grandpa. Just remember to wind it daily so it well tell time as well as your iPhone or any other fancy-schmancy time-telling gadget. It takes you a couple of days before you realize it won't actually announce the time like Siri or even show you the time like 02:20 PM. No, you actually have to train your brain to figure out what it means when the little hand is just past the 2 and the big hand is on the 5. WTF?!

Ah, well. Enjoy your "time machine".

--

I wish Google would always find what I'm really looking for.

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted - you find free smut (yeah like that was hard )

I wish I knew the meaning of life

 

[Spartan8029]

Wish granted, you find out that the meaning of life is to search for the meaning of life, unfortunately for you that means aimlessly wandering the world in search of the answer. This takes you to some of the most desolate places on earth, places were e cigs are unheard of. Places with no supply of e juice...

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a six four Impala

EVO 4G Using Tapatalk

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. Although, with a six-foot-four impala trying to crawl out of hat and scamper back to it's native Africa, your rabbit doesn't stay alive very long. You've got quite a mess in that hat. There's way more crap than you'd ever expect from a large impala, a crunched rabbit and a scared sh-tless bat. You probably don't want to be wearing that hat. Ewwww!

I wish the weather was better for golfing.