The Twisted Wish Game

[RippleInStillWater]

All people smile -- but its that creepy Smilin' Bob grin that gives me the willies!!!8-o8-o8-o

I wish the animal species we humans have extinguished from the face of the planet would return.

 

[mekakeisei]

The animals that have extinguished because of us return, but they are angry for being eliminated in the first place and in turn destroy the humans.

I wish I had a machine to duplicate my juices so I wouldn't run out of my favorite.

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* Wish granted....Unfortunately the output stream was not calibrated correctly and spews gallons of ejuice on you. You are in ICU for the next month due to nic overdose and your house has to be sold because it was flooded with nicotine. The machine shorted itself out so you can't bottle it and sell it to make up for the loss.

I wish I had better lunch food....

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Voila!!! You have better lunch food but for breakfast and dinner all you get is ramen noodles, every day, the rest of your life!!!8-o8-o8-o

I wish all the grredy lawyers/bankers/financiers would be put on a sspacehip and sent to the outer limits of the galaxy never to be heard from again........

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted. However they discover and corrupt an alien race and earth is eventually invaded and enslaved by 3 headed banker -financier - lawyers

I wish I could afford a new Jaguar

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. You have a brand new Jaguar. Unfortunately, keeping it fed in Purina Jaguar Chow is eating you out of house and home. Fortunately, it's currently satisfied enough that it isn't looking at you as its next meal.

I wish wishing on a star actually worked.

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* Wish failed and reverted as you were not wishing on a star at the time

I wish gravity was 2/3rds strength on earth

 

[RippleInStillWater]

POOF!!! You get your wish but the earth is bankrupted by all the sports having to rebuild each and every stadium, course, and ballpark as they all are made passe'!!

I wish we could all have the physical form we desire.......

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Unfortunately, you didn't actually want to BE Scarlett Johansson and have a bunch of orange-faced douchebags try to chase you all day long.



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I wish Android tablets were cheaper.

 

[sweetz]

Wish Granted......but it's a shen-zen ripoff that runs Android 1.0 with practically no memory capacity! (worst part? I own one! never buy off ebay )

I wish I could be a kid again!

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Yeah, I got an Android tablet running 1.6. It's currently bombing on startup because there's no room for both apps and updates on the tiny main partition. I gotta delete another app before it starts up and then I can put the effing thing back in the drawer.

Poof! Wish granted. You're a kid. About 1 month old. You're gonna be starting all over again right from the beginning. Unfortunately, this time around, sucking milk from your mother's dried up old boob doesn't have the same appeal.

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I wish I was earning a Hollywood-sized salary.

 

[sweetz]

Granted! However, you're now the best "Fluffer" for amateur freak-show granny porn in the business...(sorry, that was evil, but I couldn't help it!)

on the same thread...I wish I could fix the country's economy!!

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! The economy is booming thanks to your bright idea to sell the country to China. Unfortunately, they're uncomfortable about progressive ideas such as minimum wage and worker's rights. So you and every lower to middle class worker out there is now working 16 hours a day in one of several poorly ventilated factories making cheap sneakers for Nike.

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I wish there was just one universal USB connector that worked for everything.

 

[Bardolf Blaze]

Wish granted! Everything charges from one type of usb cord...including your new all electric car, which takes about 3 weeks to charge by way of your computer.

I wish to win a Provari.

 

[RippleInStillWater]

POOF!!!! You win a provari it never arrives in the mail as USPS has ceased to exist mid-transit!!!!8-o8-o8-o

I want to win the provari and have it arrive unscathed!!!

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted. However the day it arrives your so busy vaping it 2 things happen. You miss winning the GG because you didn't respond in time. Your wife then gets miffed at you for no reason and flushes your provari.

I wish I could win a GG

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. A freak accident sees you impaled by a telephone pole. You're basically going to be fine, but you'll have to wear an adult diaper for the rest of your life. You can't control your bowel movements any more thanks to the Gaping Goatse you got from that telephone pole!

(What's a Goatse you say? Try doing a google image search with safe search turned off. )

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I wish Adam Sandler would stop making movies.

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted. All his parts now go to paulie Shore

I wish I hadn't googled that

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. You haven't been keeping up on the internet. So, when you casually mention Goatse to a friend with some confusion, he shows you what a closet pervert he's been. Turns out he's been practicing with traffic cones for years. You try to get him to put it back in his pants, but what has been seen cannot be unseen. You're going to have to cast out your eyes and join a monastery. Hopefully, the pain will fade with the passing decades.

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I wish I had a flying car like George Jetson.

 

[sweetz]

Granted! However, you forgot to take driving lessons. Your first ride consists of you starting the engine, touching a single button, and being rocketed straight up into space. Once you're up there in space BFE, you realize you forgot your helmet and air tanks...and slowly perish of oxygen deprivation.

I wish I could build a really cool mod!