Okay, I didn't want to go here at first, but now I'm highly motivated...
One of my favorite hobbies is pumping out doucheisms in order to determine a proper scale of doucherosity...
--A person referred to as a douchetaco is a douche wrapped up in a layer of douche
--A douchhammer is a person who intends to pound their doucheiness into the people that surround them
--A douchenheimer is a German douche, or maybe Swiss?
--A doucherocket is a douche that is shooting flames of douche out of their [censored]
--A douchepotato is a douche that is a vegetable
--A douchenstien is a very smart douche, which may or may not be an oxymoron
--A Sparkling Douche is a douche that sparkles, for whatever reason
--A Douche-O-Raptor is an ancient prehistoric being that eats the remnants of less douchey vertebrates
--A Douche-O-Rama is a strange event that you don't want to attend
--A Doucheapocalypse is when women take over the world and douches have to hide in holes to survive
And yes, I am clearly a douche of some sort.
Or so my wife says.
