Things Kids Say n Do......

[UntamedRose]

So I know we have several parents here...though some are more grown then others. I know yall have some good stories...dish em


Just the other day....
Was bathing the little one, and asked my daughter to grab a towel
She came back with a Pink one...and made some comment about her little brother not liking pink and pink not being ok for boys.
I went into this history lesson on how it used to be that pink was only for boys.....that it was a masculine color for young boys. (it's true I swear)
She asked when this was.........I said oh 200 years ago.
"So you where a little girl."
No mommy wasnt born then, this was a long long time ago.
Eyes get real big......"So Mimi was a little girl!!!!!!"

(mimi is grandma btw...and she was real thrilled to be that old)

 

[UntamedRose]

ohh....

When my daughter was 5 or so she started bugging me for a sibling.
My husband was gone, stupid bloody deployment.
She kept asking when I would get pregnant, I'd tell her I needed her daddy to do that.
Finally it comes out.....
"mommy, just how do daddies put babies in mommies tummies"
I tell her they play special games, only for moms and dads.
"No how"
Me....(errr so dont want to get into this NOW) "how what"
she huffs "I KNOW they put them in through the Mouth. How do mommies swallow babies? They are too big!"

 

[Mickirette]

I love kid stories. My granddaughter was sitting in my lap, she patted me on the belly, looked up at me with a angelic smile and said Shreck!!! (I really don't think I look like Shreck) Micki

 

[Bulldog44]

My nephew, who is the greatest best most awesome nephew ever in the history of mankind ( and his only uncle ain't bad either ) , when he was three and a half a few summers ago was talking about his girlfriend. When I pressed him more about her activities over the summer he said she would probably be going to the beach where she could wear her zucchini.

 

[jjrose]

My 5 year old son was looking at a rather rotund man at the grocery store, I told him it was not polite to stare at people and he said ok

At the register the same man was behind us and my son said very loudly that that man must be having a lot of babies.

How do you come back from that?

 

[Jules22871]

Back when my No.2 son was about 3, I was in the tub shaving my legs. He looks over the edge of the tub and says" How the hell do you pee with that thing" Exact words, I swear, lol

 

[Drozd]

So earlier today we ask our 3 year old if he can recite his ABC's for grandma...his response:......"no....I'm allergic to that"
(have no Idea where he got that phrase from...none of us have allergies)

or the other morning where he wandered off to his room to play after watching some tv and comes back out after he's colored himself red with a marker.... and says "I am Ironman"... (he's seen the trailer for the new one on TV I think maybe twice)

but my favorite is like 3 weeks or so ago...
the commercial for reebok re-tones comes on....and I look and he's staring (commercial is primarily women's legs and butts)....
and he says to my fiance...."mommy, I'm watching the .... commercial"
(ok so I'm thinking great my 3 year old is a perv...just great)
and he says, "look there's mommy's ...."....
at which the fiance mutters "I wish"...
so several several hours later the commercial comes on again...
at which point he states..."I'm watching the .... commercial, and mommy you wish you had a .... like that"
I laughed so hard I think I almost peed myself a little....the fiance was severely less amused..


Reminds me of several years ago standing in line at a checkout at a grocery...
and this lady is loading up her entire cart onto the register belt....and her kid is throwing a fit about wanting a candy bar...and she's ignoring it...
and suddenly the kid screams out "Mommy if you don't buy me a candy bar right now, I'm going to tell grandma that you put dad's peepee in your mouth!"
I've never seen a woman grab a child and her purse from a shopping cart and get out of a store so fast...both me and the cashier stood there speechless for a few seconds, 3/4 of the womans stuff still on the belt...

 

[VRubin]

Christmas this last year my daughter (who is 3) had just started going through the "see toys on TV and really really want them stage". Usually, she would say "I need to play with that toy".. but one day it was more than she could handle. It was a commercial for Aqua Sand (which I would NEVER allow in my house lol)... When the commerical was over, after staring silently and motionless for the whole thing she said "F*#K... I'D LIKE TO PLAY WITH THAT!!!"...

And few weeks ago I heard her tell her 2 year old brother "Shut the door, dumba$$".... Guess I need to start really watching my mouth :/

Jules story reminded me of about 3 weeks ago, my daughter walked in on my husband going to the bathroom. I heard him say "GET OUT!!" and the door shut really fast. I was doing dishes, and she came in and said "Uhhhhh Mommy?" "Yes?" I said. "Uhmm.. soo... HOW does daddy pee standing up? Doesn't that make a mess??" I said "Ask daddy" lol.

Oh, and one of the first nice days we had I had taken my kids over to my sisters house to play. Well needless to say, they all were filthy when we were done. She gave her two daughters a bath, so of course my kids wanted one too, so she gave them a bath when she was done with her two. When she was getting my kids out of the tub, my darling little neice said "WHOA WHOA WHOA. WAIT A MINUTE. What is THAT?!" (pointing at my sons.... crotch).... "Is THAT FROM THE WATER?!"... bahahahaha

 

[Thyestean]

Okay I don't have a story at the moment but wanted to say thanks to you all for the first good laugh of the day.

Between my 3 kids, my 4 nephews, and other children I helped raise and spent time with I don't think there is an end to the number of these types of things I've witnessed over the years. But it's still amusing to read them from others. And now I've got my grandson to look forward to seeing what he comes up with.

 

[MacArthurBug]

I have a LOT of odd little stories. My girls are insane.
One of my favorites? My youngest (6) Informing my eldest (13) that Pirates taste like baloney. She was quite serious about this.
Youngest (she's the oddest little bug) playing shipwreck with a box in the living room. Her stuffed dog falls "overboard" and she starts dramatically calling his name. I ask her why he can't just swim back to the boat. She tells me it's "because he's only a stuffed dog mooom"
I'm very religiously open minded. We've done some explanations of religions to the girls, but we don't follow any set practice. That said I'm starting to think a little bible learning may keep Elder daughter from sounding completely rude to the outside world. At a grocery store (In the bible belt) on a Sunday, VERY loudly, she finds a sucker shaped like Santa. It's discounted from after Christmas. She starts asking "Why does this sucker have Moses on it? MOM! Look, MOSES!" And waving it around you know so EVERYONE can see. (sigh). I quietly explain that it's Santa. Instead of calming down and being quiet (that'd be too easy) She goes on (again LOUDLY) to explain that Moses looks a lot like Santa.

 

[MacArthurBug]

aww: Today from the younger kiddo "Mom you are as smart as a teacher"

 

[JennSulli2000]

My 4yr old little boy seen the Hoover Round commercial the other day and said
"Mommy I think you need to get one of them" im 27yrs old, thanks son lol

 

[Lab]

I was in costco the other day with my 4 yr old nephew and my brother.. me and my brother where talking and out of nowhere my nephew says "I just got a message from God"
so we stopped talking and I said " well what is the message".. he looked at me for a few seconds and says " I forgot"

 

[Bulldog44]

i was in costco the other day with my 4 yr old nephew and my brother.. Me and my brother where talking and out of nowhere my nephew says "i just got a message from god"
so we stopped talking and i said " well what is the message".. He looked at me for a few seconds and says " i forgot"

hilarious!!!!!

 

[Lab]

I had them color with marker all over the wall one day...

I was watching a show on tv while they colored at the table.. well it got a bit quiet looked over and they had left the table.. asked them what they are doing... and get oh nothing we are just painting the wall a new color.. so I go over there both of them had 8-10 markers in hand coloring away looked at me and asked if it was a good color for the wall.. I said hey you get out of your nap today.. we are going to scrub walls

 

[MacArthurBug]

Lab- permanent or washable? I love those "magic" erasers for this reason, my younger daughter went through a phase where everything had crayon, marker, finger paint etc on it if she was left alone even for seconds anywhere near something that could be used to "decorate" something else.

 

[blueeyekelly]

just before Halloween last year my kids came up with how the tooth fairy makes her money to leave for kids...

I bought a pair of vampire fangs, after explaning to my 5 and at the time almost 7 year old why they could not have a pair and how much they cost, the kids started telling me that the tooth fairy gets kids teeth and turns them into vampire teeth to sell so she can pay for the kids teeth...

 

[Lab]

they where washable.. but they did not wash good.. the house paint is flat paint so it took and absorbed in..

 

[rosesense]

These stories are so cute.

When my youngest son was about 5 years, he was one of those very pretty boys that people made a fuss over. In a checkout line, one lady kept on and on with him telling him how cute he was etc. When we were ready to leave she asked for a kiss. My son turned to her and as seriously as you can imagine said, "You got a dollar?" He is still rather money oriented at 35.

 

[blueeyekelly]

Yesterday we are leaving the speech theripists office and my son, who is 7, as he is walking out the door says "My mommy is going to have a baby" I told him they could probabbly tell, he asked how so I told him because of my belly. He said "Well some people might just think you are getting fat."