Ugh

[Brighid]

I was doing great just using my e-cig on my time & nic patches at work, but my mom died last week and I fell off the wagon and went back to analogs for a bit. Trying now to go back to my e-cigs.

Just couldn't deal with it all. It was very sudden & unexpected. I had to travel out of state and have just started a new job 7 weeks ago so was also terrified about having to take time off. Luckily I work with amazing people and it did not cause a problem.

I miss my mom so much, but I also know she wouldn't want me to smoke, so I'm transitioning back to my e-cig now.

Has anyone else had a situation that caused you to go back to analogs for any period of time? Just wondering.

Send some good vibes my way, please. She was technically my step mom, but my bio mom hardly qualifies for the title of "mom", so she was my REAL mom, you know?

Sorry, guess I just needed to vent a little and looking for a little encouragement to get back onto the ecig because quite honestly right now analogs seem to hit the spot a bit better.

Wish me luck, please.

 

[Andy Thatcher]

Sorry for your loss.

Can't say I have gone through what you have but I have parents that are getting no younger and I live on another continent so expect to at some point.

I can understand the slip.

I think it was my departed uncle consoling me over something.trivial that said "why do we fall over? ". Dunno said a 11 year old me. "So we learn to stand up again".

Not original, but it stuck.

Stand up again. No shame in falling over its how we learn.

 

[buffaloguy]

Im truly sorry for your loss. God bless you and your family. Id bet you're right and your mom would want you to be healthy and well. So take that pack of smokes and throw it out and for your sake, your family's, and in her memory don't go back to analogs. If its the nicotine you crave to calm your nerves up your nic a little bit (only as you need it) with a higher nic juice, and drop back down in nic over time.

I wish you and your family peace.

 

[tidegirl]

{{{{hugs}}}}

The hardest thing I have ever been through is losing my mom. It will take a lot of time, but it will get easier, although it never goes away. Don't beat yourself up for falling, you are dealing with a lot right now. Vape when you can, smoke when you feel like you have to, and just work on getting there eventually.

This was my favorite song when I was getting over losing my mom, and it fits nicely with Andy's post as well. Hope it helps you find your strength, too.

 

[blkhwk07]

Hello,
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss,it's never ever an easy thing to go thru. Don't beat yourself over having the smokes. You did what YOU needed to do to get thru it. If your now ready to move on,just know MOM is smiling upon you.
Good luck with putting down the cigs. My prayers are with you.

 

[Dana A]

So sorry for your loss Brighid. You smoked because that's what you had to do to get threw the 1st stage of this horrible time in your life and there's NO shame in that so shrug it off. Your mom would want you to. Tidegirl.. Reading the OP and then this song made me cry.

 

[singu]

sending some good vibes your way...

 

[Warren D. Lockaby]

God Bless you, I know how hard it is to get everything back into perspective after such a loss. My mom passed away several years ago - I was already well into my 50s and had lost a good many loved ones - but that was the most difficult thing I've ever endured. Just keep looking up, keep paying attention to the little victories each day brings you. Healing will come, so be patient with yourself, and try to be so with those around you. Peace will return to you.

With the smoking/vaping, I wouldn't pressure myself. Before you light a cigarette though, remind yourself you have at least 3 choices: you can smoke, use your PV, wait & choose later, or maybe change the flavor/carto/atty/(whatever applies) on your PV & vape that. With all these choices, if you still want to smoke, no problem... that's why they're called "choices".

Keeping you in my prayers, Blessings from my cave!

 

[bodrell]

I'm so sorry for your loss...losing my dad was one of the hardest things. (((hug))) It hurts less as time passes, honestly it does.

Don't be hard on yourself...I've been vaping for a month and still smoke a few cigs a day and I'm OK with that for now because I've cut down from about 50 smokes per day to five or fewer.

Be gentle with yourself; you quit once, you can do it again.

 

[gunfire13]

So sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my Dad 2 years ago next month, I know it's a very hard thing.

 

[cyberianhussy]

You-You alone will have stars as no one else has them... In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars will be laughing when you look at the sky at night..You, only you, will have stars that can laugh! And when your sorrow is comforted (time soothes all sorrows) you will be content that you have known me... You will always be my friend. You will want to laugh with me. And you will sometimes open your window, so, for that pleasure... It will be as if, in place of the stars, I had given you a great number of little bells that knew how to laugh”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

My heart goes out to you Brighid, I lost my mother too and it was shockingly sudden. Time helps greatly and love from your friends and family makes you feel less alone; but it is your spirit and heart that help you the most. Don't beat yourself up about smoking cigarettes- when my mum died I started smoking double what I normally smoked. Just get through the beginning of this new experience for you, soon, you'll be back to taking care of yourself.

 

[dlsw]

I was doing great just using my e-cig on my time & nic patches at work, but my mom died last week and I fell off the wagon and went back to analogs for a bit. Trying now to go back to my e-cigs.

Just couldn't deal with it all. It was very sudden & unexpected. I had to travel out of state and have just started a new job 7 weeks ago so was also terrified about having to take time off. Luckily I work with amazing people and it did not cause a problem.

I miss my mom so much, but I also know she wouldn't want me to smoke, so I'm transitioning back to my e-cig now.

Has anyone else had a situation that caused you to go back to analogs for any period of time? Just wondering.

Send some good vibes my way, please. She was technically my step mom, but my bio mom hardly qualifies for the title of "mom", so she was my REAL mom, you know?

Sorry, guess I just needed to vent a little and looking for a little encouragement to get back onto the ecig because quite honestly right now analogs seem to hit the spot a bit better.

Wish me luck, please.

Good luck sweetie. I was raised by my step mom who passed away 9 years ago. I still find myself reaching for the phone to call her. Try alternating between the analogs and vaping so when you feel better, and you WILL feel better, you can switch back to vaping and make your mom proud. (And she will know) I am seriously sorry for your loss. <<<hugz>>>

 

[Bawn]

Every end has a new beginning. Very sorry for loss make this your motivation to stop smoking for good. Hang in there and be strong for your family

 

[Nikinic]

Losing a parent is never easy. No matter how old we are when it happens there is still that sense that we are almost orphans. I lost my dad two years ago, and it is hard. We are human and emotions play a big part in the choices we make. Every smoker knows that when things get really bad and the emotions are high we can run away to our "friend" the cigarette and find comfort and peace for a moment in time. We all know that physically we get the same fix with vaping, but for some reason there is a comfort in that old friend. I believe your mom is proud of you no matter if you smoke or vape. I have two boys and I am proud of them even if they "mess" up, because I watch them learn from it and grow.
If you find yourself smoking, relax and understand that you are human and are not perfect. You will stumble and fall, but yes you will stand again. Life is about progress, not perfection.
I pray that you find peace with in yourself.

Niki

 

[Aubie80]

Brighid, my condolences, none of us can tell you to vape or smoke you do so with your own will do what you see fit when the time calls for it.

 

[luvinit]

OH Brighid... ((((BIG HUGS)))) to you and SO SO sorry for your loss!! That is truly awful and quite understandable that you would go back to the analogs. I'm pretty sure I would have been tempted in that direction too... you can't beat yourself up over it though. Keep her in your heart and remember her every time you reach for that analog and choose your PV instead. I lost my dad several years ago (lung cancer due to smoking) and I believe he's up there very proud of me for finally giving them up. My sympathies to you and your family.. all the best to you!

 

[Forkeh]

Wow I'm sorry about your mom dude. As for falling off the wagon, don't worry about it. Sometimes it takes more than one try. You'll get there eventually. The most important thing is that you want to stop.

 

[Jason.Stewart]

I am sorry for your loss... But just know that you want to not smoke and go back to an e-cig shows that you have the drive needed to move forward. I slipped and had a analog but its nothing to beat yourself up over. Just last night I would have killed for one but you just have to think about how much better you feel when your not putting all those chemicals into your body. Stay strong you CAN do it!

 

[SoUnique]

sending good vibes. So sorry about your loss

 

[MadKat]

so sorry about your moms death. That's a heartbreaker!

I haven't had anything cause me to want to go back to smoking YET. I enjoy my KGO too much and all the fab flavors I can get with it.

I wish you and your family healing. <3