What makes some smokers so resistant?

[Codex Gigas]

I see it time and again and it always leaves me wondering. I can halfway understand the smoker who isn't interested in making the switch or are skeptical of it, but there's a particular type that I don't understand: the smoker who refuses to even consider e-cigs even though their spouse/significant other/best friend/peer group has made the switch.

I have a female friend who smokes. I'm not nearly as close to her boyfriend as I am to her, but repeat exposure to me and my e-cigs motivated him to try them and convert, all with no sales pitch on my part. That was months ago, and he's just starting to enter the "hobby" phase - eGo works well enough for him, but he's got a few complaints, and he's getting his head around the different "the part that gets hot" options.

In the meantime, every time I see him, he's complaining about how bad she's making the house smell, how he doesn't want her to smoke in his car, how her being a smoker is becoming more of a turnoff each day as he gets his sense of taste and smell back.

On the other hand, she's entirely disdainful: she actually gets upset if he and I spend more than 60 seconds talking about electronic cigarettes and whenever anyone suggests that she try one (which happens a lot, you can imagine, he's got one, it starts conversations, she's a smoker, they're together, people always ask her what's up,) she says that when she quits, she's going to go cold turkey.

...which would be great, but it's not doing much about the fact that I damn near catch an asthma attack whenever I stop by.

 

[graybuck]

Unfortunatly couples where one smokes and the other does not are difficult at best

 

[NewportLights]

Best time to offer her one would be in a desperate situation. Maybe a long flight or if she had to stay in a hospital for a couple days. Some situation when she is jonesing for a cigarette would make that e-cig look a lot better than nothing. The last time I flew was before I heard of vaping but if you explained it to me somewhere over the Atlantic dying for a cigarette I'm sure I would have tried it.

 

[Keely]

In the meantime, every time I see him, he's complaining about how bad she's making the house smell, how he doesn't want her to smoke in his car, how her being a smoker is becoming more of a turnoff each day as he gets his sense of taste and smell back.

I can't speak to why she wasn't interested to begin with but the above stood out to me. If he's complaining to you that much, how much is he complaining to her? I realize you may not know the answer. Perhaps he's saying nothing at all.

On the other hand... she may be turned off by his enthusiasm, not just with you but with him. Just like there are those people that will try any and every new item and or fad on the market (to the eye rolling of everyone else) there are those who are anti-any new item or fad on the market. They'll do the opposite until the fad dies. I'm not saying vaping on the whole is a fad, just that it may seem like it to her .

And if he is complaining to her half as much as he is to you, well now, right or wrong I can totally see where she's coming from. Any ex-smoker should be able to because I find it hard to believe there wasn't once in your smoking history that you weren't ready to light up as an FU to someone nagging, hassling or hounding you about smoking. She may also feel pressured by being further in the minority now - even in her own house. Both can make people dig their heels in against a thing or the majority.

 

[SilentScreams]

99% of my friends are female. Most of them wont even look at an ecig. They accept the fact that I use one but do not want to use one themselves. 1 in particular I've been trying to convert(and some other things) says she like the feel of the actual cigarette in her hands and being able to go out and smoke with others she works with.

 

[mikejm]

What makes some ex-smokers such hypocrites?

I don't care if I convert anybody. I did this for myself. If somebody is interested I'll give them a hand, if not I'll leave them alone and let them smoke. I'll be the non smoker I wish I knew when I was a smoker.

 

[gthompson]

The best thing to do is leave her alone about it. It's her life and her business if she smokes, not yours.

 

[MF DOOM]

Humans-Hate-Change...

 

[Dreddsparc]

One thing that comes to mind is that some people do not like the 'gadget factor' involved. Cigarettes are extremely low maintenance, you open the celophane, take one out, light it, destroy your lungs and throw it away. PV's on the other hand, even the corner store cig-a-like kits, require 'charging' and worrying about some over complicated equipent to carry around (over complicated compared to ciggs at least).

For me, I believe the reason it was so easy for me to walk away from analogs is that very 'gadget factor' that may turn so many away. I was reistant though simply because my percieved need to quit smoking did not outweigh the initial cost for a startup kit. When I got a new car and decided I would NOT smoke in it, that need to quit or 'change' my habit quickly rose to the point where initial cost was no longer an issue. Thus my journey into vaping began.

For those resistant to the 'technology' involved, perhaps offer them a trade. Ask them to humor you while you show them one of the kits you no longer use (my manual v2 battery and liquimax clearo for instance). Let them try it out, use up some juice, then show how to refill. Offer to trade thier current pack of smokes for the setup for a day. 'If after a day you don't like it, we trade back and I never bother you again. If you like it, you can keep it and ill show you the really cool stuff '. Explain to them how the 'need' can justify the cost as it relates to them, be it health, lifestyle or just plain convenience of being able to vape almost anywhere.

Just some thoughts, as I too have some friends that are interested, yet resistant

 

[young gotti]

a lot of ppl i know are down with the idea of vaping.....and my setup is always good to go but once u explain to them they need to buy juice and carto's they seem to not like the idea so much

also get a lot of ppl who take a hit and choke like crazy, no matter if it's my 3.7 v or vv mod, they say it hits like a .... and couldn't use it all day

and i also get the cold turkey arguement....saying i didn't really quit anything since my nicotine receptors are still getting their addiction

 

[fourthrok]

She's simply not ready to quit smoking. Period. Her bravado about how, if she does it, it'll be "cold turkey" is just bluster. She has NO intention to quit, and until she's ready, she isn't going to do it. No amount of talking, guilting, nagging, complaining, reason, or logic is going to change her mind. I know. I used to be there. I even got divorced when I was in my 20's IN PART due to my smoking. My ex-husband smoked when I met him, smoked when we married, and continued to smoke for several years after that. Then he quit cold turkey and suddenly I was a piranha, a leper. A disgusting, smelly, ignorant fool that he didn't want anymore. But the more he carried on about it...the more I smoked. That and him finding a non-smoking girlfriend put a kibosh on that marriage.

It took me another 33 years or so to quit. And that was with e-cigs. Yes, I tried a few times with patches and gum and even Wellbutrin and whatnot. Got the ration from my kids about how I "needed" to quit. Big shows of spraying down their clothes with Febreeze every time they went out the door to go somewhere. But I couldn't do it. I'd look up things to try to find a way to do it..but nothing clicked. And nothing I did try worked. Until e-cigs.

After 43 years of smoking heavily I found vaping, and it "took" immediately. Haven't touched a cigarette (other than to throw them out) since Sept. of 2011. I talked to my present husband who smokes about trying and and he was willing...but he didn't have his heart in it, and ended up smoking for another 9 months before he made up his mind to commit. He's been smoke free now since last June.

I knew better than to complain about the smell when we was smoking. I knew how I felt when people nagged and complained to me. So I didn't say much about it, even though it had started to bother me. I didn't really mention it, or complain. I just kept vaping. And talking about vaping. Husband was bragging on me about how I'd quit smoking when NO one in the family thought I could do it. Finally one day (after I bought him an X2) he just stopped smoking. He had to be ready in his own mind. No one could make him take that step but him. Just as it had to be MY decision when I quit.

 

[SilentScreams]

a lot of ppl i know are down with the idea of vaping.....and my setup is always good to go but once u explain to them they need to buy juice and carto's they seem to not like the idea so much

also get a lot of ppl who take a hit and choke like crazy, no matter if it's my 3.7 v or vv mod, they say it hits like a .... and couldn't use it all day

and i also get the cold turkey arguement....saying i didn't really quit anything since my nicotine receptors are still getting their addiction

We didn't quit nicotine we quit smoking. Well some of us did, others just cut back drastically. Those that make this argument just need to understand there is a difference.

 

[CGlassford]

How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only ONE but the the lightbulb has to WANT to change.

 

[tidegirl]

What fourthrok said. Until you are truly ready in your heart and in your mind, you are going to use any excuse to keep smoking. And I know for me, the more someone tells me what I should or shouldn't do, the more I want to do the opposite. But I'm just stubborn that way.

Also, how many times did you try to quit over how many years? I can't even count how many times I tried over 25 years. I would succeed for a while at times- 3 months, 6 months, but would always go back to it. I tried cold turkey, patches, gum, lozenges, inhalers, wellbutrin... nothing worked. Has she tried and failed before? Maybe she is afraid of failing again.

God Bless that wonderful man that I married. He has never smoked a cig in his life, and put up with that stench on me for 15 years.

 

[Jman8]

What Dreddsparc said. I think it comes down to gadgetry and perceived obstacles that come with that. After your first week or so of vaping, it all seems so very simple, but in your first hour, it seems way more complicated than it is.

I think if any smoker had 1 day of vaping and realization of how much craving for smoking disappears, that the resistance would be negligible.

As someone who still does both (though been about 38 hours since my last smoke), I can relate to the negligible resistance a smoker might feel. And think I can still relate to the original resistance that comes from heavy smokers. It's mostly the habit coupled with the idea that a smoker feels they know their own best way to get nic fix. Like I hated menthol as a smoker, even though reason would say if I really wanted nic fix in that moment, the menthol smoke ought to be non issue. If the habit were so easy to change, cold turkey would be seen as not all that challenging. To me, the habit is not the addiction and is the more compelling reason why smokers stay smokers. Or why vapers stay vapers, if you prefer.

 

[spaceballsrules]

Their problem, not mine. I can only control what I do. /story

 

[SissySpike]

Why dose any addict continue on in self destroying actions and behavior. Smoking is much slower than booze or drugs but those people can not see that their life is in complete shambles and ruined health when its obvious to any one in there presence for more than a few hours.
How long have you been vaping? If everyone nagged gripped and forced this down your throat a year before you were ready to quit would you have been so receptive?
Just be ready to jump when she is ready and you will have success. Or start small get her a cig alike under the guize she can vape it indoors in alot of places and cigarettes are just plane not happening indoors any longer almost everywhere. She might start liking it over a little time.

 

[T41CK]

Yeah, I agree with this 110%

I have a friend who refuses to switch. He quotes "I don't need a device to make me quit.I'll just quit, in about a year or so" haha. I've even tried to explain the benefits from switching and all he gives me is a cold shoulder and a bad attitude. This is when I drop the subject.

When he is watching me rebuild a coil, he really gives me a hard time saying "let me figure out this puzzle to get my nicotine" ha ha.
I don't care, in the long run we'll be the healthier ones. You can only try for so long to get someone to switch. At the end of the day if they don't CHOOSE to make the switch themselves rather then have someone force it on them, it will never stick

 

[Leatherneck]

I know when I smoked, I had people who regularly tried to get me to quit. It actually required quite a bit of defense on my part to fend off those "attacks". I saw them as attacking something I enjoyed doing. She may see you as just another person trying to get her to quit smoking, especially if she's "discussing" it with her boyfriend.

 

[Chris Johnson]

Almost everyone I expose to them are interested in them, and everyone I know that has given it a chance ultimately made the switch. However there are people like my roommate and close friend. He is at least a pack a day smoker, probably 2 packs a day when he drinks. He is a very successful attorney, but just doesn't even want to try them. It's crazy! He hacks and coughs all night too!