When I'm drunk, I need a translator.

[THE]

If I mean to say "The Sky is Blue" I say "I stabbed someone in their ear".

If I mean to say "I love you and want to marry you" I say "I shoved a up (name of some bimbo here) this evening"

I don't think she'll ever believe me


If I mean to say "I don't like your barking dog right below my window" I say " and I'll your you and "

Well, I kind of meant the second part of that one.. a-lot.

If I mean to say "Thank you officer for trying not to arrest me" I say " "

And that's annoying because I like the police around here

Then when I call the detectives and mean to say to their voice mail "Hello, I'd like some information about a child molestor who was recently reported to your office." I say "Hi, I was calling about (chomo name here) and hoping you've hung him from the side of the building by now.. Please call me and let me know when you arrest the " ...

Then they call back and my voicemail is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gq0Jxt7ViCk and I have no idea because I'm passed out for three days

YouTube - Amy Winehouse - Rehab

I think I need to rethink my drinking career
Amy Winehouse doesn't love me ...
Yes she does she's my angel

LoL over here

I'm back!!!!

How is everyone..

 

[Stephaniems]

Ummm ooookay, someone either needs to lay off the sauce, or put away the keyboard.

 

[THE]

Ummm ooookay, someone either needs to lay off the sauce, or put away the keyboard.

Both?

 

[firefox335]

Have you been drunk posting again?

 

[NCC]

I have the opposite 'problem' when drinking. If like post #1, hardly anyone would have doubt about my intoxication. But, when inebriated (rarely by the way), I seem to both talk and type just fine. That can create its own problems.

Case in point: On another forum, I posted a rather lengthy New Years rant. First thing the next morning I went back and edited it down to something like, "comments off topic" ....

But, it was too late. Several people liked my ramblings ... one to the point of copy/pasting them to their Facebook page. Arggg.


Oh, I just may be drunk right now. Who knows? LOL

 

[bassnut]

I have the opposite 'problem' when drinking. If like post #1, hardly anyone would have doubt about my intoxication. But, when inebriated (rarely by the way), I seem to both talk and type just fine. That can create its own problems.

Case in point: On another forum, I posted a rather lengthy New Years rant. First thing the next morning I went back and edited it down to something like, "comments off topic" ....

But, it was too late. Several people liked my ramblings ... one to the point of copy/pasting them to their Facebook page. Arggg.


Oh, I just may be drunk right now. Who knows? LOL

It's called "Damage Control".
I've had to do that on more than one occasion the next day.
I've sort of learned how to self-correct. I'll write some kind of BS rant or some other foolishness, read it, process it....and delete it.
I may have deleted more than I've posted. Sometimes just writing it is therapeutic enough. Just getting it out even if I delete right after can be satisfying.