Win A Free E-Cig

[darkmenace]

Ok everyone, sorry i'm a bit late! Please help me decide on a winner it's proving harder than i first thought. so many funny jokes but which one to choose on! what do you all think?

I think my joke was the best.

 

[Lab]

A woman comes home from the hospital with her new born baby.. and calls and tells everyone about his new born 20 lb baby.. everyone is shocked of the baby's weight and she replies well its a texas baby..

a few weeks later she goes back to the hospital and after getting back home receives a call asking about her baby.. she is asked how much does he weigh now.. the woman replies 10 lbs ... shocked the friend says how did he loose 10 lbs in such a short time..

the lady replies well we took him in today to be circumcised

 

[Happy Domino38]

***THIS ISN'T TERRIBLY CLEAN*********

Still here? Great!

A guy goes to a ...... and asks, "How much for a hand j*b?"

"$500", says the ......

"FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR A HAND J*B? WHY?!?"

To which the ...... replies, "Come with me." and takes him by the hand and points to a red Ferrari standing at the curb. "See that car?" asks the .......

"Yeah.."

"Well, I own that and I own that because I'm the best in business.."

So, the guy decides to give it a try.

WOW!!

Then the guy asks, "How much for a blow j*b?"

"1000.00" says the ......

"A THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR A BLOW J*B? WHY?!?!?"

To which the ...... replies, "Come with me." and takes him by the hand and points to a big white mansion at the end of the street. "See that house?" asks the .......

"Yeah.."

"Well, I own that and I own that because I'm the best in the business.."

Again, the guy decides to give it a whirl.

MOTHER OF GOD!!!!

Finally, he says, "Listen, I've GOTTA ask...how much is it to get laid?"

"Come with me." says the .......

Outside they go and the ...... points to one of the biggest downtown office towers and says, "See that big tower right there?"

"Yeah..."

"If I was a woman, I'd own that."

And you're having problems choosing the winner?

 

[asd]

dont forget to check the first 20 posts only, as the rule said

 

[bobtow]

A yokel his first day in town thought he'd try the local ..... house. He knocks at the door and asks the madam how much it would cost him for a woman for the night. When she tells him, he is vsibly disapointed. So she asks him how much money he planned on spending, he replies ten dollars. She tells him for ten dollars he can go around back and satisfy himself. Twenty minuted he's back at the door giving her his ten dollars.

 

[crmartin]

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. While he is getting his hair cut, she stands next to him eating a hostess twinkey. The barber says to her, "you better stand back honey, you're going to get hair on your twinkey". She says, "yea, I know, my daddy says I'm going to get boobies too".

 

[freddo]

Sorry for the delays!!! I really am!!
But the winner is...



SailCat!!! Please PM your address so i can ship out your prize!

Thanks so much for everyone that took part, i hope you all had as much of a laugh as i did! Please feel free to carry on with the jokes! I'm sure the bringing many people joy happiness!
Regards!