A Smile for you
- Thread starter Mary Kay
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Hi There! Welcome Mrs. Iken to The Women's room. I see you decided to join hubby on here, that's great, he's a nice guy..just don't tell him I said that!
Please feel free to post a joke or a picture in here. Try our recipe section for some killer Salmon. The milestones page will help you celebrate the little goals you've achieved. Anyway, poke around and meet the rest of us.(spelling and staying on topic are not big deals in here BTW)
Please feel free to post a joke or a picture in here. Try our recipe section for some killer Salmon. The milestones page will help you celebrate the little goals you've achieved. Anyway, poke around and meet the rest of us.(spelling and staying on topic are not big deals in here BTW)
Here in the UK Weetabix is a breakfast cereal biscuit about the same size as a Shredded Wheat cereal biscuit.
You do have Shredded Wheat over the pond don't you?
Thought I'd even it up a bit for the dogs...
His name is Spike & he belongs to my daughter
His name is Spike & he belongs to my daughter
We sure do Cas..oddly enough it's called shedded wheat..LOL
Go to the thread called "Scllya's British/American " I have something in there for you!
Cute pup..I like doggies!
Go to the thread called "Scllya's British/American " I have something in there for you!
Cute pup..I like doggies!
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes".
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) suggested that her son go ask the flight attendant. So the boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The busy flight attendant smiled and said "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy said "Yes, she did."
"Well, then you go back and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you."
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) suggested that her son go ask the flight attendant. So the boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The busy flight attendant smiled and said "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy said "Yes, she did."
"Well, then you go back and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you."
WOMEN WHO KNOW THEIR PLACE
A point of view.
Barbara Walters, of Television ' s 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul , Afghanistan
several years before the Afghan conflict.
She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands.
From Ms .. Walters ' vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime,
the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands, and are happy to maintain the old custom.
Ms . Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked,
'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change? '
The woman looked Ms Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, ' Land Mines. '
Moral of the story is (no matter what language you speak and where you go):
BEHIND EVERY MAN, THERE ' S A SMART WOMAN
"Bottle of Wine"
(Women will LOVE this one!)
A woman, and a man, are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one.. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways.
After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers.
The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.'
Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.'
The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.' She hands the bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'
The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police...'
(Women will LOVE this one!)
A woman, and a man, are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one.. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways.
After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers.
The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.'
Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive.'
The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.' She hands the bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'
The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police...'
Nice one MaryKay, I think they might like this one too:
New Evening Classes For Men!
ALL ARE WELCOME
OPEN TO MEN ONLY
Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants.
Sign up early and get a discount on registration...
The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:
DAY ONE
HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation
TOILET ROLLS
DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)
DISHES & SILVERWARE
DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts
LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups
LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of
turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum
DAY TWO
EMPTY MILK CARTONS
DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play
HEALTH WATCH
BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation
REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did
IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation
LIVING WITH ADULTS
BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing
HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class
GETTING OVER IT
LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counselors available
This is old but, you have to read this first bit or the reply makes no sense :
GIRLFRIEND 1.0
Dear Technical Support,
18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try to run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.
To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Rugby 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better.
I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.
Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.
I eventually upgraded to Fiancé 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSe*Plus and Cleanhouse2005.
Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.
Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.
Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your assets before uninstalling itself.
Help requested please?
Ok, this is the reply I wrote at the time:
Technical Support Suggestions for:
Can anyone help with this software problem:
Having reviewed your desperate plea for help, I have come up with a possible solution, unfortunately for you; it will incur some major adjustments. Your first problem is in your choice of Drinking Mates 4.2 as your primary application. This is extremely limited, low-grade software. Whilst fine for young boys & teenagers, the very basic graphics & small memory used in its design makes it incompatible with any of the more refined & sophisticated Girlfriend Package. Therefore, Im not at all surprised, youre experiencing conflicts between these two products. You are very lucky one of the Girlfriend packages didnt totally destroy your hard drive.
Whoever advised you to try running Girlfriend with the sound turned off, does not understand the software & is obviously computer illiterate. THERE IS NO OFF SWITCH. As anyone in the know will tell you, Girlfriend versions are modern upgrades of Doormat 5.5 with all mute buttons deleted.
I cant understand why youre having incompatibility problems with Girlfriend & other applications, unless you are trying to override Girlfriend, which cant be done. Due to the enhanced graphics & superior programming Girlfriend will only work with other applications if it is run as the primary software. (See paragraph 1).
Running a shareware beta-program, is asking for trouble. The virus you ended up with is your own fault & I cant believe you were so stupid. Good housekeeping with your machine is a basic requirement nowadays & something we all learn in school. I hope you took pains to do a proper clean before installing any other Girlfriend applications. Virus protection is paramount in maintaining a clean hard drive & NO Girlfriend applications will work if your machine is corrupt.
Please also be advised you cant run two versions of the girlfriend application at the same time. You can only upgrade once you remove whatever current version you are using. The conflict you experienced is built into all Girlfriend programs causing both applications to fight for supremacy, which will, when detected, cause major damage in all areas of your hardware.
Your current upgrade to Wife 1.0 was a good move on your part, but having read your description of the problems youre experiencing, I have come to the conclusion that you dont understand the package. All Wife 1.0 have help files as standard, but you obviously havent found them yet. I suggest you spend some time getting to know your Wife 1.0 application by clicking on the little heart in the top right corner of the package. Yep! thats where the help files are; its not just a pretty picture for show. When you have activated the heart icon, you can then activate the voice mode. Listen very carefully to all the instructions, (you might find it helpful to take notes). Once you have listened, please remember to carry out all instruction to the letter & you will get years of enjoyment from the program, so much so, you might never have to upgrade again.
One further word of advice, I get the feeling you spend a lot of time listening to friends who have very limited hard drives both in size & memory capacity. They also know nothing about software, or, the programs they are using are out of the ark. Trying to use outdated methods & tools just wont work in the sophisticated technological world of today.
Good Luck
GIRLFRIEND 1.0
Dear Technical Support,
18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try to run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.
To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Rugby 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better.
I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.
Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.
I eventually upgraded to Fiancé 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSe*Plus and Cleanhouse2005.
Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.
Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.
Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your assets before uninstalling itself.
Help requested please?
Ok, this is the reply I wrote at the time:
Technical Support Suggestions for:
Can anyone help with this software problem:
Having reviewed your desperate plea for help, I have come up with a possible solution, unfortunately for you; it will incur some major adjustments. Your first problem is in your choice of Drinking Mates 4.2 as your primary application. This is extremely limited, low-grade software. Whilst fine for young boys & teenagers, the very basic graphics & small memory used in its design makes it incompatible with any of the more refined & sophisticated Girlfriend Package. Therefore, Im not at all surprised, youre experiencing conflicts between these two products. You are very lucky one of the Girlfriend packages didnt totally destroy your hard drive.
Whoever advised you to try running Girlfriend with the sound turned off, does not understand the software & is obviously computer illiterate. THERE IS NO OFF SWITCH. As anyone in the know will tell you, Girlfriend versions are modern upgrades of Doormat 5.5 with all mute buttons deleted.
I cant understand why youre having incompatibility problems with Girlfriend & other applications, unless you are trying to override Girlfriend, which cant be done. Due to the enhanced graphics & superior programming Girlfriend will only work with other applications if it is run as the primary software. (See paragraph 1).
Running a shareware beta-program, is asking for trouble. The virus you ended up with is your own fault & I cant believe you were so stupid. Good housekeeping with your machine is a basic requirement nowadays & something we all learn in school. I hope you took pains to do a proper clean before installing any other Girlfriend applications. Virus protection is paramount in maintaining a clean hard drive & NO Girlfriend applications will work if your machine is corrupt.
Please also be advised you cant run two versions of the girlfriend application at the same time. You can only upgrade once you remove whatever current version you are using. The conflict you experienced is built into all Girlfriend programs causing both applications to fight for supremacy, which will, when detected, cause major damage in all areas of your hardware.
Your current upgrade to Wife 1.0 was a good move on your part, but having read your description of the problems youre experiencing, I have come to the conclusion that you dont understand the package. All Wife 1.0 have help files as standard, but you obviously havent found them yet. I suggest you spend some time getting to know your Wife 1.0 application by clicking on the little heart in the top right corner of the package. Yep! thats where the help files are; its not just a pretty picture for show. When you have activated the heart icon, you can then activate the voice mode. Listen very carefully to all the instructions, (you might find it helpful to take notes). Once you have listened, please remember to carry out all instruction to the letter & you will get years of enjoyment from the program, so much so, you might never have to upgrade again.
One further word of advice, I get the feeling you spend a lot of time listening to friends who have very limited hard drives both in size & memory capacity. They also know nothing about software, or, the programs they are using are out of the ark. Trying to use outdated methods & tools just wont work in the sophisticated technological world of today.
Good Luck
has a man with a scene of humor i know it's rare but after all i was raised by my mother and not my drunk father. you gals can be both funny and male bashing at the same time. Priceless
http://www.emailgoodies.faketrix.com/content/pix/office/Original-Files/men-at-work.jpg
and here is some more jokes for you
here
and here is some more jokes for you
here
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A couple went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.
'Sounds good,' the wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.'
'Then, I'll have to charge you three dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.
'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' the wife asked incredulously.
'YES!!' stated the waitress.
'I'll take the special then,' the wife said.
'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.
'Raw and in the shell,' the wife replied.
She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.
The moral of this story...
DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!
THEY’VE been around the block more than once!
'Sounds good,' the wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.'
'Then, I'll have to charge you three dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.
'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' the wife asked incredulously.
'YES!!' stated the waitress.
'I'll take the special then,' the wife said.
'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.
'Raw and in the shell,' the wife replied.
She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.
The moral of this story...
DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!
THEY’VE been around the block more than once!
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Good one Cas! I got this from a good friend, I have seen it before, but it cracked me up yet again!
The Washcloth
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week.
Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled
for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.
As most women do, I like to take extra time to ensure great hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.
I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, 'My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we? I didn't respond.
After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal ... Some shopping, cleaning, cooking. After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing,
she called out from the bathroom, 'Mommy, where's my washcloth? I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, 'No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it.'
Never going back to that doctor. Ever.
The Washcloth
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week.
Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled
for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.
As most women do, I like to take extra time to ensure great hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.
I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, 'My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we? I didn't respond.
After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal ... Some shopping, cleaning, cooking. After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing,
she called out from the bathroom, 'Mommy, where's my washcloth? I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, 'No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it.'
Never going back to that doctor. Ever.
Questions That Really Bug Me
Can you cry under w ater?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".... but it's only a " penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby " when babies wake up like every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from ......?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle
Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ....?
Can you cry under w ater?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".... but it's only a " penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby " when babies wake up like every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from ......?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle
Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ....?
<><>
I don't feel old.. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
- Will Rogers
<><>
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill
<><>
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller
<><>
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal
<><>
And the cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good spit it out.
No offense to any of the guys out there who might be reading this thread. I just thought it was funny and we all need to laugh at ourselves. My apologies if these have been posted already, I haven't had time to read the whole thread.
Great Advice to Pass on to Your Daughters
1. Don't imagine
you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal...
Great Advice to Pass on to Your Daughters
1. Don't imagine
you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal...
- Status
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