A Smile for you
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. I like it too.
Got this in my email my from mom... made me giggle:
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.
The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'
The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response.
...... at the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said gruffly, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader or I will fire!"
The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really think that will make him mad.'
'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards him and blew the younger alien off his feet and threw him in a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.
Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.
'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you never mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.'
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.
The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'
The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response.
...... at the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said gruffly, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader or I will fire!"
The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really think that will make him mad.'
'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards him and blew the younger alien off his feet and threw him in a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.
Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.
'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you never mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.'
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room,
so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without
realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile….Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from her
husband’s funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Reached
Date: 16 May 2004
I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They gave us computers here,
and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.
I’ve just reached the city and have been checked in.
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without
realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile….Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from her
husband’s funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Reached
Date: 16 May 2004
I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They gave us computers here,
and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.
I’ve just reached the city and have been checked in.
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Adult....
A person who has stopped growing at both ends.....and started growing in the middle !!
A person who has stopped growing at both ends.....and started growing in the middle !!
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