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A Smile for you

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Mary Kay

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Apr 3, 2009
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West Tampa Fl.
The Book of Understanding Women!

Vol.1

bookunderstandingwomen.jpg
 

mmsjs5

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CAJUNS LIVE A FULL LIFE

Swamp Critters

Boudreaux, an 80-year-old South Louisiana Cajun, goes to the doctor for
his every year check-up.

The doctor is amazed at what good shape he is in and asks, "How do you
stay in such great physical condition, Boudreaux?"

“I stay in the swamp and I hunt and fish every day", said the old Cajun.
"Dat's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out
hunting or fishing all day. I have a beer for breakfast and at lunch and
wid my supper. And, I have a shot of de hard stuff afore bed time.
And, I say my prayers every night. And all is well wid me."

Well", says the doctor, "I'm sure the prayers help, but there's got to
be more to it. How old was your father when he died?"

"Who said Pop is dead?"

The doctor is amazed. "You mean you are 80 years old and your father is
still alive? How old he is?"

"Pop be 100 next month," replied Boudreaux. "In fact, he hunted with me
dis mornin', and den we went to a beer joint for a while and had a few
beers and dat's why he's still alive. He is a tough Cajun man and he
hunts and fishes everyday, too.”

"Well, the doctor says, that's great! But, I'm sure there's more to it
than that. How about your father's father? How old was he when he died?"

"Who said my Paw Paw's dead?"

Stunned, the doctor asks, "You mean you are 80 years old, your father is
100 and your grandfather is still living? Incredible! How old he is?"

"We tink 'bout 118." says the old Cajun. He likes his beer, too, but he
won't touch de hard stuff."

The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, "So, I guess your
grandfather went hunting and fishing with you and your father this
morning, too?"

"No, Paw Paw couldn't go dis time. He's gettin' married today."

At this point the doctor is close to losing it. "Getting married! Why
would a 118-year-old man want to get married?"

Boudreaux looked down at the floor and mumbled "Who said he wanted to?"
 

Mary Kay

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Apr 3, 2009
12,873
2,328
West Tampa Fl.
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Alabama. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

A blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!"
 

Mary Kay

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ECF Veteran
Apr 3, 2009
12,873
2,328
West Tampa Fl.
A mother is invited by her son, Anthony, for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Tina. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate is. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Tina and I are just roommates.'' About a week later, Tina came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure. " So he sat down and wrote an email: Dear Mama, I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Anthony Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read: Dear son, I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Tina, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now. Love, Mama. ------ Moral: Never lie to your Mama! LOL
 
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