A Smile for you
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I was clicking thru channels and this caught my ear from Heidi Klum's "Seriously funny kids",
Little girl: I liked this boy in 2nd grade, people said it wasn't a real relationship (this kid must watch oprah). But if you take away him running away from me screaming..I think it was. I mean we were friends.
That cracked me up! I have been in a few relationships like that!
Little girl: I liked this boy in 2nd grade, people said it wasn't a real relationship (this kid must watch oprah). But if you take away him running away from me screaming..I think it was. I mean we were friends.
That cracked me up! I have been in a few relationships like that!
I was clicking thru channels and this caught my ear from Heidi Klum's "Seriously funny kids",
Little girl: I liked this boy in 2nd grade, people said it wasn't a real relationship (this kid must watch oprah). But if you take away him running away from me screaming..I think it was. I mean we were friends.
That cracked me up! I have been in a few relationships like that!
That is funny!!! You had guys running away from you.....no way!!! Well....maybe if you were chasing them holding a knife or something
I am American by birth and southern by the grace of God. What does this mean? I can say anything I want as long as I say: "Bless Its Heart".
Sounds like a good Southern spirit to to me! Several years ago, my cousin went to some place in the South, and we were worried about him, b/c he was so young then. He said, "Oh, don't worry, I'll just good hooked up with the good ol' Southern Baptists, they'll take care of me if something goes wrong." LOL.
For the Womens Room
'Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?'
'Yes. What can I do for you?'
'I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith....He's hidin' wacky weed inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there.'
'Thank you very much for the call, sir.'
The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no wacky weed. They sneer at Virgil and leave.
Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.
'Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd....Did the Sheriff come?'
'Yeah!'
'Did they chop your firewood?'
'Yep!'
'Happy Birthday, buddy!'
'Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?'
'Yes. What can I do for you?'
'I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith....He's hidin' wacky weed inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there.'
'Thank you very much for the call, sir.'
The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no wacky weed. They sneer at Virgil and leave.
Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.
'Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd....Did the Sheriff come?'
'Yeah!'
'Did they chop your firewood?'
'Yep!'
'Happy Birthday, buddy!'
An old man, a boy & a donkey
were going to town.
The boy rode on the donkey & the old man walked.
As they went along they passed some people
who remarked "What a shame the old man
is walking and the boy is riding."
The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.
Later they passed some people who
is walking and the boy is riding."
The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.
Later they passed some people who
remarked "What a shame.... he makes that little boy walk."
So they then decided they'd both walk!
Soon they passed some more people
who remarked "They're really stupid to walk when they
have a decent donkey to ride."
So, they both rode the donkey.
Now they passed some people
who shamed them by saying "How awful to
put such a load on a poor donkey."
The boy and man figured they were probably right,
so they decide to carry the donkey.
As they crossed the bridge,
they lost their grip on the animal
and he fell into the river and drowned.
and he fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story?
If you try to please everyone,
you might as well...
Kiss your ... goodbye!
If you try to please everyone,
you might as well...
Kiss your ... goodbye!
Have A Nice Day And
Be Careful With Your Donkey
Both good ones, MJ & Fudgey!
My father was a hard-core ozarkian, my mother from Oklahoma, and they taught me to drink out of quart fruit jars. And that's how I drink my margaritas - 4 shots to the qt - but it lasts me for a couple of hours, so at least I don't get a major buzz.
My father was a hard-core ozarkian, my mother from Oklahoma, and they taught me to drink out of quart fruit jars. And that's how I drink my margaritas - 4 shots to the qt - but it lasts me for a couple of hours, so at least I don't get a major buzz.
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