A Smile for you
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STRESS MANAGEMENT: This really does work & will make you smile.
Picture yourself lying on a rock that hangs out over a clear stream.
Both your hands dangling in the cool water. No one knows this place.
You are in seclusion. You hear the waterfall sounds of serenity.
The water is so clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.
There...see!! It really does work. You're smiling...
Picture yourself lying on a rock that hangs out over a clear stream.
Both your hands dangling in the cool water. No one knows this place.
You are in seclusion. You hear the waterfall sounds of serenity.
The water is so clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.
There...see!! It really does work. You're smiling...
I love this.
STRESS MANAGEMENT: This really does work & will make you smile.
Picture yourself lying on a rock that hangs out over a clear stream.
Both your hands dangling in the cool water. No one knows this place.
You are in seclusion. You hear the waterfall sounds of serenity.
The water is so clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.
There...see!! It really does work. You're smiling...
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
The main reason that santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "where's the self- help section?" she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
what do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why do they put braille on the drive-through bank machines?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too??
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have 's' in it?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
The main reason that santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "where's the self- help section?" she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
what do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why do they put braille on the drive-through bank machines?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too??
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have 's' in it?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
Last edited:
Best comedy ever! Thanks for the rewind Snork!
Man and wife are traveling through Florida, and come upon the town Kissimmee. They argue as to how to pronounce it. Husband tells the wife, "We're going to stop for lunch soon. We'll ask them." So when they get inside, they ask the person who waits on them, "My wife and I are arguing how to pronounce where we are. Could you tell us, and say it slow, so we can understand you."
Person waiting on them leans over close to them, face to face, and slowly says, " B U R - G E R - K I N G
Just so you know it's pronounced Kiss-sem-me..MK
Snork!Man and wife are traveling through Florida, and come upon the town Kissimmee. They argue as to how to pronounce it. Husband tells the wife, "We're going to stop for lunch soon. We'll ask them." So when they get inside, they ask the person who waits on them, "My wife and I are arguing how to pronounce where we are. Could you tell us, and say it slow, so we can understand you."
Person waiting on them leans over close to them, face to face, and slowly says, " B U R - G E R - K I N G
Just so you know it's pronounced Kiss-sem-me..MK
Sometimes you are the hammer sometimes you are the nail…
There I was sitting at the bar staring with my drink when a large, trouble- making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing!
But enough about me, how's your day going?"
There I was sitting at the bar staring with my drink when a large, trouble- making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing!
But enough about me, how's your day going?"
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