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A Smile for you

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CES

optimistic cynic
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Another ECF friend shared this, thought I would pass it on to you ladies. :) That is cool and wild. Amazes me what ppl can come up with sometimes. NASA may need to contact him. lol.

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v...&feature=email

I love these. they look so alive!

This made me smile. I might even have to bookmark it for later reference! Cheat at Housecleaning

ooh cool- now the way that i keep house is trendy!!! YAY!

Debi, I'm guilty of one of those, and I don't recommend it the way I did it......... Years ago my future in-laws called to say they would be dropping by in 10 minutes (she was a perfect house keeper). I didn't have a dish washer so I rounded all the dirty dishes up, put them in the oven and forgot about it. A couple of days later I turned the oven on to preheat.......... resulting in melting/burning plastic all over my oven! We still laugh about that.

ooooh....not good at all.
 

Cisme

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I received this in the mail and thought I'd share it here. A few anyway. :)

Paraprosdokians:

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Evening news is where they begin with "Good Evening" and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
 

DebiMax

Senior Member
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Feb 13, 2011
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I received this in the mail and thought I'd share it here. A few anyway. :)

Paraprosdokians:

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Evening news is where they begin with "Good Evening" and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Behind the fall of a successful man is occasionally the same woman that was behind him when he hit the top of his game.

Why?

The men get big egos and forget who helped them get there, so we women get tired of it and shove them off the ladder! :D
 

Fudgey

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These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:


1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....
16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
 
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