A Smile for you
- Thread starter Mary Kay
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2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
One of my favorite Brit Coms is "Are you being served?", in it the mens wear dept always answers men who question the fit..it will ride up with wear...lol!
One of my favorite Brit Coms is "Are you being served?", in it the mens wear dept always answers men who question the fit..it will ride up with wear...lol!
Subject: Laws of life!
1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach.
11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach.
11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
When a woman is ovulating, she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
When she's menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved in his backside.
(I DARE you not to laugh now!)
When a woman is ovulating, she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
When she's menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved in his backside.
(I DARE you not to laugh now!)
Ha ha, Lisa, reminds me of the time I was driving down a busy freeway and an empty plastic grocery bag blew up from the road and wrapped around my antenna. Couldn't get off the fwy, so I had to drive with the bag looking like a white plastic flag on my antenna - ppl must have wondered WTH I was so proud of a plain bag that I would fly it as a flag - embarrassing.
Things i try to never run out of:
Chocolate, coffee, cheese and nicotine
(and dog food- but that's not for me)
Chocolate, coffee, cheese and nicotine
(and dog food- but that's not for me)
That picture would make a great jigsaw puzzle..Come to think of it..I may make it one on jigzone! If you guys knew how many of your cute or interesting pics are in my jigzone folder.....lol
It's just a jigsaw puzzle place. You can do their jigsaws puzzles or upload pics from your computer to make your own puzzles.
JigZone.com Jigsaw Puzzle Games
JigZone.com Jigsaw Puzzle Games
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