I have been laughing my rear off!!
Okay, I was told by a friend once that I wasnt an accident waiting to happen,, I was an accident that was GOING to happen, and SOON.
My husband says its because I suffer from HIA syndrome. (head in ...)
when I was 4, I was on a fence (we lived on a ranch) and bent over too far and fell into a cactus - face and stomache first-. I had over 100 stickers in me.
When I was 4, I was at VBS leaned over getting a drink of water out of a water fountain, with my hand in the door frame- someone slammed the door adn cut the tip of my finger off. (I did get to go to the hosp for that one)
when I was 6 we were down at the general store/bar- and all the kids were outside playing, someone threw a toy ina big old oak- and they were throwing rocks to knock it loose- one hit me smack in the forehead- I still have a scar-
I was trying to do a penny drop at school when I was 7, and fell, breaking my tail bone.
I have fallen off so many horses that I cant count- and been trampled by goats and hogs and everything else.
I fell into more electric fences than I could count, and was constantly getting caught up in barb wire-
when I was 12 me and the other girls were leaving practice after school on our bikes and racing, showing off, (we lived in a small town, and everyone rode their bikes to school) and we were riding past the football players- one of them hollered something, and I turned to flirt, and hit the front brakes on my bike- I flipped it and busted up my knee- stil have that scar- I was sooo emabarressed-
I was running through a barn one time from my cousin whom I had stolen the ladder from after he climbed on top of an 8 ft rock wall, and ran smack into a cabinet that was head high- busted the bridge of my nose wide open- sad thing is- I had left it open.......
I was fixing someones artificial nails one time, (because I learned how to do them in highschool so I could have them too) and the tube of super glue exploded, and glued my eyes shut. I got to go to the Dr on that one too-
My front tooth is chipped, I was spinning on my dads headache rack on his truck as a little girl, doing flips and flipped into it with my mouth- I refused to tell anyone- since they had told me if I got hurt I would get my rearend busted.
I have had almost everyone of my fingers slammed in truck doors, or horse trailer gates and smushed. I have had my foot ran over by my husbands truck- and been stepped on by quite a few horses.
when I was 14, I was in a pagent, and the day before I went to the lake - I fell asleep on a raft and floated for about 3 hours before my mom (who was partying with friends) realized I was missing- I had burns so badly all over the front of my body that I devoloped water blisters before I even got in the car-
I have given myself a shot of pennicillian on accident when I was doctoring a goat- and I am alergic.
I have wormed myself on accident when worming a goat-
I got my waist length hair wrapped all around a brand new fly trap ribbon-
My kids are about as accident prone- and when they were babies I started saying "are you bleeding? no? then dont cry" first time my oldest got sick and had to get blood drawn he puked at the sight of his own blood, and it still freaks him out to see it to this day- I am always telling them 'stop, I have a busy day planned and refuse to go to the ER" - and I have been lucky so far- super glue usually fixes everything....
And a year ago, I was gone, when I came home I noticed a bucket on the front porch- and in it was a snake- a coral snake- I told my kids to kill it and get rid of it- They swore it was nice, and I had the rhyme wrong- so as I was looking it up on the net after putting up groceries - my 6 year old girl walked through adn said "hey- didnt you tell the boys to kill that snake?" I said "yes" she said "well, its climbing out of that bucket into the living room floor- want me to catch it?" - I hollered at the boys, showed them a picture and told them to KILL it.
15 minutes later they were real courious as to what would happen if you were bit- I told them about the nervous system shutting down and you dying. A few minutes later, I heard one telling the other "go find the peroxide!" yep- you guessed it... I had to wake up their daddy who worked nights and tell him. We sat around and watched for signs of impending doom, and thank God it was a dry bite.....
when that same kid was 3, my dad had abunch of planted cacti and we told him over and over- DONT touch that- well he waiting till we turned our back and grabbed the one with the teeniest needles with both hands.... cause it was shaped like a ball and he wanted to 'throw' it.
that SAME kid also fell into a cactus off the SAME fence that I did. all over his tummy and face- I had to throw away the shirt he was wearing it was soooo full of thorns..
But with my kids I am lucky- they do more stupid stuff that could land them in the hospital, but we are very blessed. They catch snakes ALL the time, play with scorpions (I had to teach them to clip the stinger off the tail), see who can climb up and detatch a wasp nest and get the least amount of stings, throw rocks at bumble bees or shoot them with pellet guns, get bored and go to the creek and see who can kill the most water mocisans with just a pocket knife, climb trees and take the 100 ft tape measure to see who gets the highest- have a bucket list of animals they wanna catch and have marked off Buzzard, possum, all types of singing birds, most snakes, wild rabbits, (they are mean as hell btw) crawfish, some of the fish (like crappie, perch, catfish) by hand- and count the .... we had as a baby as a catch- every type of lizzard and skank you can imagine, a horney toad, - I even caught them playing 'gladiator' with those hairy red ants once- catching them and putting thm in a circle and watching them fight-
okay- I will quit now- and tell about my husband and other 3 kids later-
that's one lucky brother!
