I was drinking some wine with a friend who smokes and wasn't tempted. I felt pretty good about that, and she was chain smoking like I used to.
I found out Monday that I need a 4th surgery on my knee in 2 years for a bone spur that formed under my patella. I have been in excruciating pain, so on one hand was relieved that they figured it out and there is a chance they can make it a bit better to walk. They will try ar
throscopic, but with all the scar tissue from it being opened up 3 times before, it means it might need to be opened up and cleaned out. That put me over the edge. Just thinking about the recovery time, the PT, the non-weight bearing PAIN. About 3 in the morning I lit a cigarette and was asked "oh, so you are going back to smoking now?" My answer: "Nope. Some things just bring the stress up so high my old friend the cigarette is needed". I don't feel bad about it, it served its purpose and I haven't had another one since. Just - some things are so stressful that I don't even want to deal with small things and being a gung-ho non-smoker just wasn't high on my list at the moment.
I don't sweat having one now and then. I have much worse things to worry about.