another smoking related death

[Jackiej5407]

Carpedebass ... I ADORE you ... but (respectfully) disagree with something you said in an above post: " You still have to WANT to quit smoking for it to really work." Not in my case ... I had no intention of stopping ... just wanted to cut down or explore something new and different. I have a T-shirt that says it all : "I Accidentally Quit Smoking With E-cigs" ... a truer T-shirt I have never worn. It was purely by accident.

BTW, I loved the guitar avatar of yours. I miss it ...

 

[pianoguy]

Carpedebass ... I ADORE you ... but (respectfully) disagree with something you said in an above post: " You still have to WANT to quit smoking for it to really work." Not in my case ... I had no intention of stopping ... just wanted to cut down or explore something new and different. I have a T-shirt that says it all : "I Accidentally Quit Smoking With E-cigs" ... a truer T-shirt I have never worn. It was purely by accident.

BTW, I loved the guitar avatar of yours. I miss it ...

I agree - I didn't start out hell-bent with the intention of quitting, either. I ordered one out of curiosity - I had developed a persistent cough after the state was so kind as to mandate FSC's here, and knew I should do something. Once I got my kit and tried it, I was convinced that it might just work. I decided to have a cigarette when I really needed one, which turned out to be just a few times a day. By the 4th day I was done. So no, you don't have to be determined to quit, but you do need to open your mind to the possibility that the e-cig might work, and give it a chance.

 

[thewomenfolk]

I think the younger you are the longer it takes to quit smoking because you haven't suffered enough yet. It does take time to quit for some, but if she's getting a Provari, chances are good I think that it'll work. Just don't push...let it be her own experience with no pressure. Tell her you won't be negative about smoking for a whole month while she tests out her Provari. And be sure that you've got some good ejuices you think she might like.

And then just do what one of my sons always told me to do, "Just relax, Mom, just relax".

 

[carpedebass]

Carpedebass ... I ADORE you ... but (respectfully) disagree with something you said in an above post: " You still have to WANT to quit smoking for it to really work." Not in my case ... I had no intention of stopping ... just wanted to cut down or explore something new and different. I have a T-shirt that says it all : "I Accidentally Quit Smoking With E-cigs" ... a truer T-shirt I have never worn. It was purely by accident.

BTW, I loved the guitar avatar of yours. I miss it ...

Well, I ADORE you too!! I did say that a lot of folks (me included) actually find themselves off of analogs completely by accident. I never intended to completely quit either. I just wanted to cut down and save some moolah. But there are a great number of folks who still struggle with analog addiction and have a hard time quitting...even with vaping. Yesterday a tenant got all pissy with me and really ticked me off big time. Everything in me wanted an analog...for the first time since I started vaping, my PV just didn't cut it. I resisted, but it was tough. By the way...I let him leave unharmed.

<---------------------- In honor of you...

 

[Jackiej5407]

Oh you sweet, sweet man!

 

[Princessdee]

Seriously, if I were her, I'd kick YOU to the curb over hassling me about it.

If I could like this 217 times, I would.

 

[cags]

I'll never understand ex-smokers who turn into rabid anti's! how soon we forget the addiction! and how soon we forget how WE didn't appreciate being turned into hated "criminals". how soon we (in the US) forget the concept of "free country". if people harrass me (about anything) it just makes me go do it more often, to prove I can do what I want. although I am old, I still have a little of that 15 year old in me!

 

[LibertariaNate]

If I could like this 217 times, I would.

Seems an arbitrary number...

 

[Devonmoonshire]

Seems an arbitrary number...

LOL That one I believe was totally Random

 

[Princessdee]

Seems an arbitrary number...

Random number generator

 

[Trixie]

Ad356 – you sir are an arrogant, self-righteous blowhard. Now, sit back and analyze what you’re feeling after reading that. I wanted to make you understand and feel what your wife must be feeling as you continue your one man “I Am Right and You Are Wrong, Period!” stance.

I also want you to remember what you felt every time someone who knew it all told you how stupid you were for smoking, and how you should just “quit cold turkey” or “chew the damn gum” or whatever other perfect solution they came up with.

You had to come to it in your own time and your own way, and nobody but you could ultimately make the decision for you, as much as they may have wanted to. Just as you must now recognize and respect that as much as you may want your wife to join you on this journey, she can’t and won’t. Whether or not she is ultimately able to quit smoking, her journey will be her own, not yours.

Also think long and hard about what Carpedebass said – because kicking you to the curb would be something going through my head in that scenario if you were my husband (thankfully my dear non-smoking man waited quietly and patiently through my many years of smoking, loving me and knowing it was my battle). IF there are other problems or reasons you may not really want to be married and are just looking for an excuse, then be honest and work on those. If, however, you are saying that this woman whom you love is going to be cut loose because she won’t instantly acquiesce to your overbearing demand, then you are being truly unfair to both of you.

I wish you luck in your bid to be free of cigarettes, and hope you can maintain your freedom with your new resolve. Now please remember that you have enough on your plate handling your own addiction battles; let your wife make her own decisions in her own time and way.

 

[BeadyKate]

To the OP: I do understand your feelings of frustration and grief. My sympathies for your loss. It is hard to lose someone. I tried e cigs first last March. They were a fun little diversion. I did not quit analogs with my 901 ( my first e cig). Then in May it was totally back to analogs. My Father-in-Law passed away last August. Due to complications from smoking. He already had severe COPD and was on oxygen. His funeral prompted me to pick up e cigs again. Got a 510, then a Vgo, then an Infinity Ion, then a Talon (ego tank system), and finally a Provari. Took me many steps, loads of cash, and much tinkering to get to a comfortable vape. I still smoked occasionally. (You got to understand, I smoked for 23 years.) Went from 2 pad to about 3 cigs a day. That took many months. And finally I quit completely. For my health, and saving cash. I don't have a standard juice, I like a few different flavors. But I needed 24mg to start, and now I am 18 -0 mg. Depends on my mood and time of day. Like you I enjoyed trying to get loved ones to vape. Bought kits for my family last Christmas. No, no one but me quit completely. In fact my father said he thinks e cigs raise his blood pressure. Tried to assure him that analogs do the same thing. He won't listen. He told me he will quit smoking when they pull the cigarette from his cold dead hand. Really? Man You can gently persuade your loved ones. But only they will make that final decision, in their own time. Good luck and God Bless.

 

[sbphotog]

I've been trying to persuade my husband forever to start vaping and he always fights me on it......just went upstairs to find my husband puffing on one of my egos .

I don't think it will stick with him unless I can find a realistic tobacco flavor for him though

 

[Rhapsodies Fire]

My husband and I started vaping at the same time. He quit smoking 4 weeks into it....it took me six months. Ya...it was tough. We were going through hell here at home with my mother moving in (schitzo + frontal lobe dementia)...many sleepless nights, nothing but anxiety, anger, fear, and mistrust running rampant through our normally peaceful home. I smoked in my car...and smoked on the porch....vaped at my desk...but I was hanging on to cigarettes something fierce. But I just want to put this out there ....I was questioning the viability of our marriage....not only because of the added stress....but he had quit smoking and I couldn't figure out for the life of me how he could tolerate being around me. I also couldn't figure out for the life of me how I was supposed to quit smoking when vaping just wasn't doing it for me. I wasn't sure that we could make it through my mom (we did) but I was also convinced that we wouldn't make it as a couple if I kept smoking. Can you believe it...the addiction nearly had me talked out of trying to make my marriage work!!! I have little doubt that this concern has crossed her mind as well. I can easily sit here now and say that I have been smoke free for well over a year....and he's been smoke free much longer. We're still together...but wouldn't be if it wasn't for his patience, understanding and his unwillingness to give up on me. He never bawled me out, never chastised me....he kept trying new things and sharing them with me. Eventually he found a device I liked and juice that I liked and it kind of stuck. But I was the one who had to make that call to not smoke. It was worth it to me to make the effort....especially because he made the effort for me. So I do understand your frustration & your fear...but from the other side. I can only hope that the two of you can appreciate the effort from each other and get past this part. I wish you both well.

 

[Baldr]

I've been trying to persuade my husband forever to start vaping and he always fights me on it......just went upstairs to find my husband puffing on one of my egos .

I don't think it will stick with him unless I can find a realistic tobacco flavor for him though

This thread might help with that.

http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/fo...ssion/224121-tobacco-flavor-users-please.html

 

[sbphotog]

This thread might help with that.

http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/fo...ssion/224121-tobacco-flavor-users-please.html

Thanks!!!!!!

 

[ad356]

i realized that my complete quitting was making me extremely miserable and might ruin our marriage, which i really value. i went back to light smoking and share a few cigarettes with my wife. i am still only smoking less than 1/4 pack per day, well i dont smoke cigarettes in pack i roll my own using "mellow" pipe tobacco but i smoke less than 5 per day. smoking is off limits in the house and in the car when our son is in the back seat. she didnt hastle me with that at all. the idea of her smoking while i wasnt for some reason was really getting on my nerves when i was attempting to quit. i still vape allot more than i smoke. im hoping she can get her provari and cut herself down to a few per day. i think when i couple smokes both need to continuie smoking or quit together. it is something that has been a major part of our relationship since day one, sharing a cigarette with my wife. it is one of the hardest things to give up. all i want is for both of us to at least cut down to the point where the cigarettes are doing us little or no harm. i seen to have less of a problem with this than my wife. i can go 8 hours at work without a single cigarette. i need to be more supportive of her and if it takes a few cigarettes a day from being a miserable SOB so be it.

i was in a really bad mood after the funeral, watching this woman's family greive was not a pleaent experaince. i knew her but not very well. i knew her kids allot better, they are my age. i just think her death was preventable if maybe she had known about and taken up vaping years ago. i was angry at myself since i felt that maybe if i knew she was going to die i could have introduced her to vaping several years ago and saved her life. this whole experaince put me in a bad mood and i took it out on my wife. i was also angry at the people smoking at her funeral, i had said earlier that i felt it was like taking a hand gun to a gun victims funeral, well i still feel that way. smoking at a tobacco victims funeral is truely disgusting.



my wife is the ONLY woman i have ever truely loved besides my mother. she is only my second relationship and i will say my last. i have been with her 10+ years and im only 30. she is the woman i want to live and die with. her health is more important to me than most of you would realize. if she dies from smoking i dont think i would be able to function. i hope you guys understand that.

 

[cags]

I'm so glad you calmed down, and I bet your wife is too I've been vaping 9 months....I went from around 45 cigs a day to two (2) a day ! I will probably always smoke 2 cigs a day. I enjoyed smoking and only wanted to cut back because I couldn't afford 2+ packs a day. so I far exceeded my goal and I do think of myself as a nonsmoker now.

i was also angry at the people smoking at her funeral, i had said earlier that i felt it was like taking a hand gun to a gun victims funeral, well i still feel that way. smoking at a tobacco victims funeral is truely disgusting.

smoking will be welcome at my funeral - it is not up to me to control and judge people and I still sympathize with smokers ..... and I will turn over in my grave if I hear someone calling me a tobacco victim or feeling guilty because maybe they could have "saved" me. they have been talking about the "dangers" of smoking since I was a kid and I am an old woman now! so I am no victim....I made my choices and I am really not sorry for any of them! there are plenty of "young" people who die but never smoked and many smokers live long lives.... we are all going to die from something!

so cut your wife some slack and good luck to both of you!

 

[mgordon1100]

AD356

I get the feeling that there's more to this story than you're willing to tell. That' OK, you don't need to air all your dirty laundry if you don't want to. Just don't fool yourself that it's all about her smoking. People leave their spouses because they got cheated on. People leave their spouses because they get nagged all the time and can't take it. People leave their spouses because they don't feel love anymore, and being married is no different than being alone except they have to deal with some stranger hanging around. People don't leave their spouses because their spouse has a (known prior to marriage) addiction that doesn't affect the marriage in a horribly negative way. Alcoholism, that destroys marriages. Shooting up, that destroys marriages. Coke, that destroys marriages. Has she ever gone out on a smoking binge, and left you and your child to starve for a night? I doubt it.

Sounds to me, like the smoking is an excuse for a bigger issue. It's causing frustration for you, because it makes it more difficult in your own endeavor. That's understandable. But, look at the bigger picture. If you really love your wife, then figure out a way to make things easier on yourself, or just rough it out until you don't care anymore and smoking is a thing of the past for you. This just started for you. Give it a while. If she's still smoking like this in 5 to 10 years, and you're not. Then her eyes might open up. I would have smoked for the rest of my life, had I not lost my job. For the first month and a half, I was smoking instead of eating. Then, I found E-cigs to be a cheaper alternative. That was my journey to quit. You have yours, and she may or may not find hers. Doesn't mean she's going to die in 20 years because you quit smoking and she didn't. I'm 45 and not dead yet. I probably wasn't going to die in 5 years either. Good luck to you.

 

[glowgirl]

I am so glad you posted this. It takes a big man, a VERY BIG MAN, to step back and look at what's really going on. Clearly you are capable of humility and honestly. Your wife is a lucky lady. Quitting is a proccess but you and your wife wll get there. It sounds like you will be stronger for it too having shared such a trial. On a side note, once when I tried quitting, before ecigs, I grabbed my husband by the throat and told him to "go get me a pack NOW". We are not so nice when going through withdrawals or emotional hardship. We are only human after all.

i realized that my complete quitting was making me extremely miserable and might ruin our marriage, which i really value. i went back to light smoking and share a few cigarettes with my wife. i am still only smoking less than 1/4 pack per day, well i dont smoke cigarettes in pack i roll my own using "mellow" pipe tobacco but i smoke less than 5 per day. smoking is off limits in the house and in the car when our son is in the back seat. she didnt hastle me with that at all. the idea of her smoking while i wasnt for some reason was really getting on my nerves when i was attempting to quit. i still vape allot more than i smoke. im hoping she can get her provari and cut herself down to a few per day. i think when i couple smokes both need to continuie smoking or quit together. it is something that has been a major part of our relationship since day one, sharing a cigarette with my wife. it is one of the hardest things to give up. all i want is for both of us to at least cut down to the point where the cigarettes are doing us little or no harm. i seen to have less of a problem with this than my wife. i can go 8 hours at work without a single cigarette. i need to be more supportive of her and if it takes a few cigarettes a day from being a miserable SOB so be it.

i was in a really bad mood after the funeral, watching this woman's family greive was not a pleaent experaince. i knew her but not very well. i knew her kids allot better, they are my age. i just think her death was preventable if maybe she had known about and taken up vaping years ago. i was angry at myself since i felt that maybe if i knew she was going to die i could have introduced her to vaping several years ago and saved her life. this whole experaince put me in a bad mood and i took it out on my wife. i was also angry at the people smoking at her funeral, i had said earlier that i felt it was like taking a hand gun to a gun victims funeral, well i still feel that way. smoking at a tobacco victims funeral is truely disgusting.



my wife is the ONLY woman i have ever truely loved besides my mother. she is only my second relationship and i will say my last. i have been with her 10+ years and im only 30. she is the woman i want to live and die with. her health is more important to me than most of you would realize. if she dies from smoking i dont think i would be able to function. i hope you guys understand that.