Any "older" members still recall the time when smoking was acceptable indoors?
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I remember visiting my mom in the hospital after my little bro was born in 1986, and she was just sitting in the bed, smoking away! Even the doctor was smoking when he came in to check on her.
I also remember being a teen & 20-something, and smoking in pool halls & bars. The pool tables would all have long cigarette burns on the edges from where people had forgotten they'd set a .... down and it burned away.
In fact, for the longest time as a kid, I thought those long dark cigarette burns (from when a burning cigarette falls out of an ashtray) in the dining room table were part of the natural wood grain!! lmao!!!
I also remember being a teen & 20-something, and smoking in pool halls & bars. The pool tables would all have long cigarette burns on the edges from where people had forgotten they'd set a .... down and it burned away.
In fact, for the longest time as a kid, I thought those long dark cigarette burns (from when a burning cigarette falls out of an ashtray) in the dining room table were part of the natural wood grain!! lmao!!!
I haven't been around here very long, but I quickly realized you're a sharp cookie and I often enjoy your posts, but this one... wow - where is the LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE ad infinitum button?
I'm really pleased, and very surprised, that my first post this morning, not an hour out of bed yet, has been so well-received; generally when I'm just out of bed I manage to piss off SOMEBODY. Guess I got up on the RIGHT side of the bed today.
But this thread was the first one that popped up on my "My Posts" listing, and reading the last few before mine, I got a little teary; not that I miss smoking, I really don't miss it at all, but I DO miss "the old days," when people were polite to each other, and there weren't all these politically-correct so-and-so's running around trying to dictate everyone's behavior and speech, trying to tell parents how to raise their children, or dictating what people ought to be doing in the privacy of their own homes and vehicles -- or offices!
Need I mention that back then, we also didn't live in fear that some drugged-up, angry, gun-toting fool was going to hijack our cars or hold our schools hostage, and no bleeding heart would excuse such barbarous behavior on national TV because he had a terrible childhood. I guess I sound like an old fart, but I really wish everyone with a terrible childhood would just freaking get over it, as I've had to do -- mine was pretty awful, but I managed to get older and finally grow up, and achieve some peace and stability -- so I know it's entirely possible, you don't have to run around like a rabid dog just because mommy was mean to you.
Ok, now I'm sure I've probably ...... off half of those reading this thread. Get over it.
Andria
Keep going, AndriaD.......I LOVE your posts! 
Now I'm probably gonna piss someone off but here goes...
I think there are a lot of contributing factors to how we got here, but one of the biggies imo is that we stopped properly disciplining children. I almost can't stand going shopping because I know I'll encounter a bratty child telling his/her parent what to do, and the parent is catering to the child's whim. "ok you can have some candy" or "stop crying and we'll go get some ice cream" or the worst, the child is running up and down the grocery store aisle pushing one of those kiddie carts and running into people and the parent is oblivious. I had this happen to me and I turned around and said loudly "EXCUSE ME?" which got mom riled up - she thought I should have kept my mouth shut because it was "just an accident - he didn't mean to run into you". She missed the point - I wasn't really upset with the kid, I was upset with mom.
When we stopped spanking (not beating - big difference!), or at least sternly disciplining children, and making them behave in public places, many kids turned into holy terrors. I spanked my daughter, but I can probably count the spankings she got on my fingers with one or two left over. I saved the spankings for the BIG lessons - like when I caught her playing in the road. But because I said what I meant, and meant what I said, I didn't have to spank often - she usually did what she was taught.
"Stop that or you're going to your room... 1... 2.. 2 and a half... please stop... I'm going to tell your father..." -- threats with no follow through, I hear this one a lot too. Your child doesn't believe anything you say, doesn't trust you, and will constantly try to push your limits to see where they are. I actually feel sorry for these kids.
Just like a baby feels more secure when they're swaddled up snugly, a child feels more secure when s/he knows his boundaries and are taught to be responsible for their actions. These kids that rule their parents, and aren't taught to be responsible for their actions, are the ones who are seriously messed up by the time they're adults.
Edit : Well, THAT was off topic - sorry! LOL But the grocery cart thing was recent and was still on my mind so I guess I had to vent.
All good points to which I agree ladies!
When my wife and I started dating, we went to a store with her daughter in tow (not going into detail on that), the daughter started acting up. I looked at mom and figured if our relationship was going anywhere, it was time to start acting like a dad. I said "mind if I take her out?" and she said "absolutely not", and away we went. It was quite funny the fuss the daughter put up until we got out of sight of mom and then total silence. Looking back on it now, I wonder if I would still be in prison had somebody "in authority" stopped me when taking her out and the daughter had said I wasn't her dad.
When our son was grown, he commented how easily he got the message that he was doing something wrong without me saying a word, just my expression on my face. But hey, it worked!
I guess I better be clear for anybody thinking I was some kind of child beater, I never ever laid a hand on my daughter and I think my son got at most two paddlings.
When my wife and I started dating, we went to a store with her daughter in tow (not going into detail on that), the daughter started acting up. I looked at mom and figured if our relationship was going anywhere, it was time to start acting like a dad. I said "mind if I take her out?" and she said "absolutely not", and away we went. It was quite funny the fuss the daughter put up until we got out of sight of mom and then total silence. Looking back on it now, I wonder if I would still be in prison had somebody "in authority" stopped me when taking her out and the daughter had said I wasn't her dad.
When our son was grown, he commented how easily he got the message that he was doing something wrong without me saying a word, just my expression on my face. But hey, it worked!
I guess I better be clear for anybody thinking I was some kind of child beater, I never ever laid a hand on my daughter and I think my son got at most two paddlings.
I remember my mother making me go pick her cigarettes up for her when i was 9 years old. I was born 1980. I would break them and throw them out the window. I would get the worst ... woopin! ANd then i became a smoker when i hit highschool. How sad!!! But so far im a successful vapor inhaler. and nomore tob Tobacco. My biggest worrys right now are people thinking i have a gun in my hand when really its just a subtank with a silver finished istick. Or black. EEk!'%$^#&
Completely, 100% agree! We rarely had to actually "spank" our son -- thanks to two spankings he got at the ages of 4 and 5, when we were literally at the end of our rope with just exactly WHAT to do with the boy -- 3 licks with a belt on his fanny drove the point home to such an extent that forever after, all we had to say was: "do I need to get the belt?" and he was INSTANT compliance! Naturally we tried other measures before resorting to the belt -- we're not monsters or child abusers! -- and they were ineffective; but that belt served as a deterrent for the rest of his growing-up years.
Once, in a store, when he was about 9-ish, he was just pitching a FIT for some trifling item that we truly could not afford -- I mean REALLY pitching a fit -- so my husband smacked him and said "you're hysterical, snap out of it!" Some people at the end of the aisle looked his way, and he just stared them down. They went their way without saying a word.
About a year later, some boy in our neighborhood had done something really awful to our son, so the whole family walked up to their home and confronted the boy and his mother about it; she demanded that he apologize, and the boy flatly refused; her response was "just wait till your father gets home." On the way back home, our son commented that he couldn't believe the kid had just flatly refused an order like that; I asked him what he thought might happen if he did that, with us. He said there was no "might" about it, he'd certainly be picking himself up off the ground. I said well maybe not off the ground, but that was a good estimation -- then I asked him if he'd ever heard me say 'just wait till your father gets home' about anything to do with his behavior -- he looked at me like I was crazy and said it never occurred to him that I would EVER say a thing like that! I was MAMA and he did what I said, or faced the unpleasant consequences! (in fact sometimes his father getting home was a relief, as dad would let him out of his room, with orders not to piss me off any further or he'd be going back in!) When he graduated, there was some conversation about the insanity of someone's parents at the graduation, and he gave us the highest compliment I think I've ever received -- he said we were the SANEST parents he'd ever heard of or encountered! Considering US... well, that's something I really never expected.
Now, he's almost 27, and he's a wonderful person; truly one of the funniest people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing -- and he seems to actually LIKE us! 
But the hardest part of being a parent, other than one's kids being sick, is having to sometimes be the "bad guy" -- but if you don't put the hammer down on bad behavior or go investigate the poor grades personally, then the child becomes a "bad guy". I think most parents nowadays don't have any idea how to do that -- and it shows.
Andria
Speaking of which........
Remember the fear that your parents would find out you got in trouble in school? Now the kids can't wait to get home and share their slanted view of what happened so their parents will run to the school demanding another student get expelled or, worse yet, a teacher be fired.
Remember the fear that your parents would find out you got in trouble in school? Now the kids can't wait to get home and share their slanted view of what happened so their parents will run to the school demanding another student get expelled or, worse yet, a teacher be fired.
Andria, I do not think that parents do not know how to discipline, I think they are just to lazy to do so.
It is easier to give in rather than stand your ground and be consistent. Sometimes it is like punishing yourself to discipline your child.
It is easier to give in rather than stand your ground and be consistent. Sometimes it is like punishing yourself to discipline your child.
I was born in '75 and remember people smoking every where I went. They were in the malls in the common areas, restaurants had a smoking and non-smoking section, bars, I do remember going to visit my sister & brother in the hospitals when they were born and my grandparents smoking in the waiting area, and even in the casino's you could smoke at any table or slot machine.
I can even remember going to the corner store with a note from my parents to buy cigarettes. People didn't seem concerned at all about children being present or around the smoke, but then again we could drink out of the garden hose & not think it was going to kill us either lol.
I can even remember going to the corner store with a note from my parents to buy cigarettes. People didn't seem concerned at all about children being present or around the smoke, but then again we could drink out of the garden hose & not think it was going to kill us either lol.
People smoked in class at the University of California when I went there in the early 70's. Students smoked other stuff outdoors. People smoked just about everywhere. Most people working in radio smoked constantly at work, as I did, even with all of the electronics around. My first nicotine OD happened when I was in high school and working in tobacco fields as a summer job. Too much tobacco juice on the skin.
Absolutely true! It's far more difficult to go and actually remove the kid from whatever you told him to stop doing, than just sit there on your lazy .... and issue one impotent threat after another. And "grounding" kids... I don't know any parent who really LIKES to do that, to hear one long sad sigh after another, or the kid doing whatever, that drives you right up a wall and you WISH you could just send him outdoors to play! But it pays off; after enough years of meanign what you say and saying what you mean, by time time the kid's a teenager, they know if you mean business or not. Everyone told us his teenage years would be the hardest, but I never found it so; the older he grew, the more of a "real person" he became, and the easier he was to deal with. By the time he was a teenager, he knew we would not issue impotent threats or treat him irrationally in any other way -- he trusted us, and that paid off beautifully, with us being able to trust HIM.
Andria
Some parents are not fully capable of raising children and those that are have had that ability severely limited by government and society as a whole......and the kids recognize and use that.
It's probably a good thing I am not raising any kids in this day and age.
It's probably a good thing I am not raising any kids in this day and age.
During the 70's it was pretty common to see people smoking while pumping gas....
OMG---off topic---regular leaded gasoline
I remember cutting the catalytic converter off of my first car and widening the gas nozzle so that I could use the lower price leaded gasoline.
My dear, you've said a mouthful. And I sorely miss that America I loved.
Consideration seems to be a word lost to the lexicon since those times.
(On a great many levels but notably of value and values.)
Good luck all.
+1,000 Well Said and I for one agree with you. I love my grandchildren, but hate how they are being raised.
Your post reminds me of my neighbor. She will tell her children to stop doing something and just keep repeating herself yet never does anything to discipline them for ignoring her. It drives me nuts!
I remember when I was a kid, my parents were on a bowling team in a league. The bowling alley had a GREAT pinball and video game room that eventually morphed into a slot-car track with some of the greatest 'tracks' (race-courses) imaginable.So my little brother and me enjoyed tagging along. A bunch of the same kids would be there week after week. Since our parents were 'busy', we literally had the run of the entire place!
The thing is, it seemed like EVERYONE in the entire bowling league smoked, and the place was literally engulfed in a white cloud of cigarette smoke the whole night. (Trust me, if there was a problem with second-hand smoke, NOT ONE of us kids would have survived into our thirties!)
Very fond memories!!
The thing is, it seemed like EVERYONE in the entire bowling league smoked, and the place was literally engulfed in a white cloud of cigarette smoke the whole night. (Trust me, if there was a problem with second-hand smoke, NOT ONE of us kids would have survived into our thirties!)
Very fond memories!!
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