Been to visit my dearest friend who has Alzheimer's

[sleepy jean]

I have'nt been in here lately, been busy with work, family, puppies,( LOL) and went to visit my dearest friend Cleo, she has Alzheimer's, she was fine up until about a year ago, I started noticeing little thing in her e-mails and when we talked, her kids noticed it to, she's stubborn ( bless her heart ) but finally agreed to go for a checkup and thats when they found it, she still knows people but she can't talk and can't remember how to cook or wash clothes and dress herself, she is afraid to leave her house, which I can understand but her husband gets impatient with her, I feel so helpless but there's nothing I can do but sit with her and show her my love for her, it's so hard to watch someone you care so much about go through this. Oh how I'm praying for a cure for this terrible illness.

 

[Mary Kay]

I am so sorry for Cleo! I know how hard it is for her to watch her life getting so odd. She knows, but can no longer find the right info. Frustration and depression sets in.
I watched and took care of Grandma for two years and mom for a year and a half at my home. It is crazy making for the caretaker. They live with the odd things on a day to day basis. Grandma drove me crazy with eatting. The 97 pound woman ate like a field hand. Then she forgot she ate and wanted to have breakfast, lunch or dinner again! I tried feeding her half at a time..that only meant she wanted a third dinner, and would yell at me for starving her! She had a thing for hand cranked ice cream and going to barn dances..I guess she was back in the 20's. Mom picked fights and accused me of stealing from her. Mostly things she put under the bed or in an unused purse.
What the caretaker needs is a day off! Or at least a day nurse a few times a week for a break.
I am not unsympathic, I have just lived with them. I know how hard it was for mom to feel trapped inside her own mind..to forget people and to never know what she liked to eat on a day to day basis. To be frightened to death at the hospital because you don't know what they are doing to you and have no way to make yourself understood.
What you are doing..visiting her gives her something to grasp at..a memory, a feeling, a normal day. next time take pictures of you and her to keep you fresh in her mind. They remember faces from their youth but can't associate them with the older face.
God bless both of you and her husband.

 

[classwife]

This is something that really .....scares me. Of getting it. Being trapped by your own mind....
Bless you both...

 

[CES]

It is such an insidious disease. My heart goes out to you and everyone living with or caring for someone with Alzheimer's.

 

[Fudgey]

(((((hugs))))) for you and Cleo. Sending you strength to help you help her.

 

[Safira]

My dad has it too, when you see your friend talk to her about the past, as far back as you two go. If she isn't able to talk to you anymore bring pictures or any kind of memories. See if you can take her out and give her husband a break. See if he is willing to get a nurse to come durring the day a few days a week, little things like that can really help.

Try to remember and remind her husband some of the things she does is not her fault its the disease.

 

[selenamstar]

Has she taken any of the Meds? I work with quite a few pts at my facility with dementia and Alzheimer's they are the nearest and dearest to me. When I go home to work they always put me down there and we all have a great time. Keep her mind active, she's still in there and pictures are great things. if he needs help look and see if there are agencies that do respite care, it's exhausting and may help him lots. Also adult day care is awesome too.

 

[sleepy jean]

Your all so dear, and thank you so much of the ideas to help Cleo, I never thought about the picture's, that a wonderful idea, I know when I go to see her she hugs me and hugs me, like a child who has'nt seen their mom in a long time. Her husband thinks he cane take care of her on his own and he does not want to spend any money having someone come to the house, which burn's my ...., thankfully her sister inlaw Sally live's close by and goes over a couple time's a week, washes her hair, does the wash , cleans and cooks a good meal for them, bless her heart. Mk just the time I spend with Cleo, I can't imagine how hard it must have been on you taking care of your grandma and mom, your a strong lady.

 

[sleepy jean]

Has she taken any of the Meds? I work with quite a few pts at my facility with dementia and Alzheimer's they are the nearest and dearest to me. When I go home to work they always put me down there and we all have a great time. Keep her mind active, she's still in there and pictures are great things. if he needs help look and see if there are agencies that do respite care, it's exhausting and may help him lots. Also adult day care is awesome too.

Yes she is taking some meds for Alzheimer's, and I think they help some, slowing down the process somewhat, I read an artical that they are looking at meds to untangle the parts of the brain that are tangled together, that whould be a real blessing.

 

[Mary Kay]

Cleo can ask for disability to help with her care. Then it's no cost to the husband. There are aldult day cares run by the state, he needs to look. 2 or 3 days a week he can take her there for her "meetings" or "social group" and get some things done. He can also apply for house keeping or nursing..but he got to be more proactive!

 

[Safira]

Your all so dear, and thank you so much of the ideas to help Cleo, I never thought about the picture's, that a wonderful idea, I know when I go to see her she hugs me and hugs me, like a child who has'nt seen their mom in a long time. Her husband thinks he cane take care of her on his own and he does not want to spend any money having someone come to the house, which burn's my ...., thankfully her sister inlaw Sally live's close by and goes over a couple time's a week, washes her hair, does the wash , cleans and cooks a good meal for them, bless her heart. Mk just the time I spend with Cleo, I can't imagine how hard it must have been on you taking care of your grandma and mom, your a strong lady.View attachment 35954

Oh boy does this sounds familiar. That is what my mother keeps say, she can take care of him, she can't afford for someone to help out. But, it really is to much for one person to be able to handle and he will start to resent his wife. I hope he is a little more of a resonalble person than my mother is, see if the family can talk him into some kind of help. At least he has someone going there to help out a few days a week. That is what he needs, he needs a break, to go out for a walk or have lunch.