Bionic Vapor - Discount Event with endless perks! Join the minion crusade!
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Q: What did the laundryman say to the impatient customer?
A: Keep your shirt on!
A: Keep your shirt on!
Q: What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?
A: Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?
A: Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?
Q: Which hand is it better to write with?
A: Neither, it's best to write with a pen!
A: Neither, it's best to write with a pen!
Q: What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up?
A: Someday my prints will come!
A: Someday my prints will come!
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don't know and I don't care.
I don't know and I don't care.
If you're American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
And on the way to the bathroom, you're Russian.
European.
And on the way to the bathroom, you're Russian.
A man walks into a zoo.
The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
It's a shih tzu.
The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
It's a shih tzu.
It starts off with a farmer having a young son who is really really interested in tractors.
For his 3rd birthday his father takes him to a tractor show and the boy loves it, he can't get enough of it.
For his 10th birthday his father lets him ride with him on his tractor, again the son is loving tractors, can't get enough of them.
For his 17th birthday the father buys his son a tractor and the son is loving it for 10 hours he is riding up and down on his tractor all day at the farm, just before he is about to come home he hits a mound and the tractor flips and falls on top of the son. He was stuck there for 8 hours in the rain before his dad rescued him.
After this he absolutely hates tractors, can't stand them.
So a few months later he is walking down the street and there is a house on fire and a women screaming "my baby, save my baby".
The guy runs up to the door, breathes in and inhales all the smoke and the fire goes out, he runs up saves the baby and brings the baby back to his mum.
The women thanks him over and over again and asks how did you do it?
The son says: "Oh, its nothing I'm an ex tractor fan"
For his 3rd birthday his father takes him to a tractor show and the boy loves it, he can't get enough of it.
For his 10th birthday his father lets him ride with him on his tractor, again the son is loving tractors, can't get enough of them.
For his 17th birthday the father buys his son a tractor and the son is loving it for 10 hours he is riding up and down on his tractor all day at the farm, just before he is about to come home he hits a mound and the tractor flips and falls on top of the son. He was stuck there for 8 hours in the rain before his dad rescued him.
After this he absolutely hates tractors, can't stand them.
So a few months later he is walking down the street and there is a house on fire and a women screaming "my baby, save my baby".
The guy runs up to the door, breathes in and inhales all the smoke and the fire goes out, he runs up saves the baby and brings the baby back to his mum.
The women thanks him over and over again and asks how did you do it?
The son says: "Oh, its nothing I'm an ex tractor fan"
Wanna hear a clean joke?
Bob took a bath with bubbles.
Wanna hear a dirty joke?
Bubbles was a man.
Bob took a bath with bubbles.
Wanna hear a dirty joke?
Bubbles was a man.
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom.
First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.
First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.
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