Disclaimer: If you were perhaps looking for a short post you could read while waiting for your latte at starbucks, well friend look elsewhere. I gots the ADD and I'm easily distracted and long winded. Proceed at your own risk.
My wife got a Blu ecig a couple months back. We both tried to quit smoking at the same time, this is the 2nd time we have tried this. The first time was 3 years ago. I bought stuff from health cabin which if you can get past the harshness of some harsh dekang is not that bad. What happens is what happens when anybody stops smoking together. Someone cheats. For us it was my wife.
"Oh hawney I just had a really hard day." (puff puff puff) I felt a vein in temple start throbbing because this had been her idea. I didn't care about stopping smoking. I loved smoking. L-O-V-E-D! I bike 10 miles a day and I loved smoking and now I was smoking on this stupid battery and feeling very unsatisfied. I felt like the hamburglar on a bad day (grumble grumble grumble) and I really tried. So eventually her bad days stacked up and I gave up on ecigs. She talked of stopping smoking off and on and then gave up altogether. I ignored her because I was sick of smoking ecigs as she smoked real cigs and I felt like I was missing out.
Skip to the present. 3 months ago she wants to do it again. I flipped her off and then calmly walked up to her and placed my middle finger right on her forehead.
"No babe whats going to happen is I'm going to smoke my little ecigs and your going to cheat and make excuses." I know harsh right? This kinda harshness is reserved for those moments when our significant others really make us mad. We already did this. I relented because I love her. She got the blu I got the halo.
(note: look at previous posts for my thoughts on halo.)
So we are smoking away and then one friday about 2 weeks into smoking ecigs she comes home with a pack of cigarettes, lights one up and blows the smoke in my face and smiles.. Bzz guh! bah wt deuce wth! gah gah gah! This is what I say in my head. What comes out of my mouth is this:
Me: I hate you.
Her: Whuh hawney I just really had a hard day ok, jeez its just 1 pack. Just for the weekend.
Me: I hate you.
her: What evs (puff puff puff) You bought a pack too so there.
She's right I did. I thought I might need it. Think Linus with his security blanket and you've got it. I smoked one a week ago and I gave one to my brother in law. Except for that the pack has sat there right in front of me everytime I go outside to smoke my ecig. Untouched. I understand how hard it is, I do . I go thru the same stuff as her with one minor difference. I research extensively anything I do. Thanks to the internet I have knowledge right at my fingertips. My wife does not. She wants what she wants. I think if I can just leave that pack alone then Ive done something. Ive gotten thru the worst. I think its better than taking everything smoking related and banning it from your house. Lets face it, your house is a small place and eventually you have to go outside of it, out into the real world. So my little box sits there and I feel good.So when my wife pulls out a blu ecig and takes a toke you know what she thinks?
Her: This is stupid hawney, why is it whistling at me? Is the eciggy spose to whiste at me?
Me: Just try it hawney, remember you wanted to stop smoking, just give it a try.
Her: Blech taste like burnt cotton candy. Why is it a whistle? Do you have to pay extra for a non whistle eciggy?
Me: Your not smoking it right, hawney, you have to suck in deep
Her: Why am I sucking my eciggy deep, thats dumb. I don't smoke like that. Stupid eciggy
She then shrugs, puts the Blu ecig down, and lights up a real cigarette.
And thats it for her. My point to this part of the story is my wife is who the eliquid/ecig companies are really selling to. Not me. Her. She wants what she had before. She wants it to feel bad for you, she wants it to be easy and she wants it to be cheap. I agree with her. Im just willing to learn. She is not.
I want to smoke. I found this out the 2nd time around. The physical act of smoking is my nirvana. I punctuate conversations with smoking. I talk thru smoking. I start my day and end my day with smoking. 20 years and if theres not something in my hand I can smoke...I fidget and tear pieces of paper in tiny bits. Ecigs work for me because I get to do what I like....which brings us to the 2nd part of my story.
I have to hide what I like to do.
See we put a cap on how much we would spend on ecigs for the month. about a $100 for the both of us. This month I spent $200 just by myself. My wife is vigilant about our bank account. Every penny has to mean something.
Her: Honey, what happened to just spending a $100 on ecigs?
Buzguh! I sputter, I hoot, I hack, I stammer.
Me: Honey, its a difficult thing to judge. I mean the market just started on this stuff, and shipping costs, labor tax,( I don't know what labor tax means) It's just difficult to gauge you know? I mean have you seen the state of florida oranges for gods sake! Plus whats the cost of saving a life really, huh? Really?
I then proceed to show her pie charts, bar charts, testimonials, I show her pictures of scientists holding up beakers of weirdly colored liquid. I show her starving children in africa smoking real cigarettes. I show her a picture of david hasselfhoff and Shania Twain. When I'm done my whole body is covered in a fine sheen of sweat and I'm breathing hard. It doesn't matter that she started smoking real cigs again.I could just point that out and cheese her off but in the end I know why I'm defensive and she does to. None of this matters She folds her arms across her chest and laughs at me.
Her: Your such a fibber, you bought another eciggy kit didn't you?
I meekly point at the pie charts, bar charts, testimonials, beakers, and nod my head meekly. I wave my hand around and sigh.
Her: Tsk, Tsk tsk, You button pusher.
what she means by this is that I am a button pusher. I am. If there was a button on a wall and I was walking by, regardless of what that button did I would push it. End of the world, meh, its pushed bub. Sowwy. I have this problem with online purchases, videogame purchases, ereader purchases. Everything. So yeah. I am a button pusher. What she doesn't know is I have had my kit for a week now.
HO HO! I am lion! Hear me roar! You wife...HAVE BEEN PUNKED!
If your on a budget and you want to buy stuff go ahead and buy it I say. Just be prepared to be conniving and sneaky. Wiley! For a week now I have been disguising my ecig as everything from a remote control
Me: Ack, this isn't the dvd remote, silly me. Battery must be dead
To my cell phone-
Me: Hello, whats that Bob? Buh huh huh I know right, those reports were a killer, guffaw guffaw guffaw, Corn flower blue with an eggshell emboss, Love it man, Hey bud do me a solid and tweet me the deets. Mmm hm, mm hm, mmmokay, yeah.
To a level while I was finishing my basement
Me: Muh! still not straight. Gonna haf to bring out the protractor
All in the hopes that I wouldn't get caught button pushing. But I did. So I owned up to it like a man. I bought the I taste mvp and I was going to tell her that.
Me: I bought another battery for my original halo g6 babe, its just really big.
She scowls at me and whispers
Her: You suck at lying P. I don't really care. Just enough button pushing for this month, xmas is coming up babe. Santa has to fill stocking. You feel me? Ring a ding ding.
She gives me a kiss and walks in to make dinner. I sigh and lean back in my chair. Did I tell you I have a vivid imagination? I do. I blow stuff out of proportion. You should see what goes on in my head at my annual doctors visit
Me: BACK DEMON DAWG!, where were you going to put that bucko!! On the first date? You must think me a hussy! I am not that type of girl! (when asked to come in so my doc could discuss my blood tests and check up results.
The Nurse: So we have you down for 2 pm with doctor HR puff and stuff alright P?
Me: (sigh) Ok i'll be there.
In this whole wide world I hope that everyone finds there true love. For me it was a 5ft tall women with a napoleon complex and a love for quirky hyperactive overly sensitive and spazzy me.
You won this round wife. The next round is mine!
She'll quit when she feels like it. I can't use her as my excuse to not quit smoking. We all have our excuses. My wife's was her job, mine was her. So if she quits with ecigs, cool. Or if she just goes cold turkey on her own its her choice. Or if she just can't quit well thats all right too. I'll love her no matter what. Smoke breath and all.
Ah the blu ecig. Before I forget. Its f-ing terrible. Like really bad. The batts suck, the juice is horredous. I know I know everyone loves johnson creek but me. Its gross. I tried it 3 years ago and it hasn't gotten much better yet. BLU ecigs are a terrible starter kit for anyone trying to see if they could possibly quit with the ecig. I tried some today when I forgot my ecig in the house I took a puff and then looked at the ecig in my hand as I muttered
"It DOES taste like burnt cotton candy." Gotta love my wife. Your really selling to her. If she doesn't like it, the major populace won't either. So ecig companies, start working harder. Kissing ashtray mouth for the rest of my life doesn't sit very well with me.
My wife got a Blu ecig a couple months back. We both tried to quit smoking at the same time, this is the 2nd time we have tried this. The first time was 3 years ago. I bought stuff from health cabin which if you can get past the harshness of some harsh dekang is not that bad. What happens is what happens when anybody stops smoking together. Someone cheats. For us it was my wife.
"Oh hawney I just had a really hard day." (puff puff puff) I felt a vein in temple start throbbing because this had been her idea. I didn't care about stopping smoking. I loved smoking. L-O-V-E-D! I bike 10 miles a day and I loved smoking and now I was smoking on this stupid battery and feeling very unsatisfied. I felt like the hamburglar on a bad day (grumble grumble grumble) and I really tried. So eventually her bad days stacked up and I gave up on ecigs. She talked of stopping smoking off and on and then gave up altogether. I ignored her because I was sick of smoking ecigs as she smoked real cigs and I felt like I was missing out.
Skip to the present. 3 months ago she wants to do it again. I flipped her off and then calmly walked up to her and placed my middle finger right on her forehead.
"No babe whats going to happen is I'm going to smoke my little ecigs and your going to cheat and make excuses." I know harsh right? This kinda harshness is reserved for those moments when our significant others really make us mad. We already did this. I relented because I love her. She got the blu I got the halo.
(note: look at previous posts for my thoughts on halo.)
So we are smoking away and then one friday about 2 weeks into smoking ecigs she comes home with a pack of cigarettes, lights one up and blows the smoke in my face and smiles.. Bzz guh! bah wt deuce wth! gah gah gah! This is what I say in my head. What comes out of my mouth is this:
Me: I hate you.
Her: Whuh hawney I just really had a hard day ok, jeez its just 1 pack. Just for the weekend.
Me: I hate you.
her: What evs (puff puff puff) You bought a pack too so there.
She's right I did. I thought I might need it. Think Linus with his security blanket and you've got it. I smoked one a week ago and I gave one to my brother in law. Except for that the pack has sat there right in front of me everytime I go outside to smoke my ecig. Untouched. I understand how hard it is, I do . I go thru the same stuff as her with one minor difference. I research extensively anything I do. Thanks to the internet I have knowledge right at my fingertips. My wife does not. She wants what she wants. I think if I can just leave that pack alone then Ive done something. Ive gotten thru the worst. I think its better than taking everything smoking related and banning it from your house. Lets face it, your house is a small place and eventually you have to go outside of it, out into the real world. So my little box sits there and I feel good.So when my wife pulls out a blu ecig and takes a toke you know what she thinks?
Her: This is stupid hawney, why is it whistling at me? Is the eciggy spose to whiste at me?
Me: Just try it hawney, remember you wanted to stop smoking, just give it a try.
Her: Blech taste like burnt cotton candy. Why is it a whistle? Do you have to pay extra for a non whistle eciggy?
Me: Your not smoking it right, hawney, you have to suck in deep
Her: Why am I sucking my eciggy deep, thats dumb. I don't smoke like that. Stupid eciggy
She then shrugs, puts the Blu ecig down, and lights up a real cigarette.
And thats it for her. My point to this part of the story is my wife is who the eliquid/ecig companies are really selling to. Not me. Her. She wants what she had before. She wants it to feel bad for you, she wants it to be easy and she wants it to be cheap. I agree with her. Im just willing to learn. She is not.
I want to smoke. I found this out the 2nd time around. The physical act of smoking is my nirvana. I punctuate conversations with smoking. I talk thru smoking. I start my day and end my day with smoking. 20 years and if theres not something in my hand I can smoke...I fidget and tear pieces of paper in tiny bits. Ecigs work for me because I get to do what I like....which brings us to the 2nd part of my story.
I have to hide what I like to do.
See we put a cap on how much we would spend on ecigs for the month. about a $100 for the both of us. This month I spent $200 just by myself. My wife is vigilant about our bank account. Every penny has to mean something.
Her: Honey, what happened to just spending a $100 on ecigs?
Buzguh! I sputter, I hoot, I hack, I stammer.
Me: Honey, its a difficult thing to judge. I mean the market just started on this stuff, and shipping costs, labor tax,( I don't know what labor tax means) It's just difficult to gauge you know? I mean have you seen the state of florida oranges for gods sake! Plus whats the cost of saving a life really, huh? Really?
I then proceed to show her pie charts, bar charts, testimonials, I show her pictures of scientists holding up beakers of weirdly colored liquid. I show her starving children in africa smoking real cigarettes. I show her a picture of david hasselfhoff and Shania Twain. When I'm done my whole body is covered in a fine sheen of sweat and I'm breathing hard. It doesn't matter that she started smoking real cigs again.I could just point that out and cheese her off but in the end I know why I'm defensive and she does to. None of this matters She folds her arms across her chest and laughs at me.
Her: Your such a fibber, you bought another eciggy kit didn't you?
I meekly point at the pie charts, bar charts, testimonials, beakers, and nod my head meekly. I wave my hand around and sigh.
Her: Tsk, Tsk tsk, You button pusher.
what she means by this is that I am a button pusher. I am. If there was a button on a wall and I was walking by, regardless of what that button did I would push it. End of the world, meh, its pushed bub. Sowwy. I have this problem with online purchases, videogame purchases, ereader purchases. Everything. So yeah. I am a button pusher. What she doesn't know is I have had my kit for a week now.
HO HO! I am lion! Hear me roar! You wife...HAVE BEEN PUNKED!
If your on a budget and you want to buy stuff go ahead and buy it I say. Just be prepared to be conniving and sneaky. Wiley! For a week now I have been disguising my ecig as everything from a remote control
Me: Ack, this isn't the dvd remote, silly me. Battery must be dead
To my cell phone-
Me: Hello, whats that Bob? Buh huh huh I know right, those reports were a killer, guffaw guffaw guffaw, Corn flower blue with an eggshell emboss, Love it man, Hey bud do me a solid and tweet me the deets. Mmm hm, mm hm, mmmokay, yeah.
To a level while I was finishing my basement
Me: Muh! still not straight. Gonna haf to bring out the protractor
All in the hopes that I wouldn't get caught button pushing. But I did. So I owned up to it like a man. I bought the I taste mvp and I was going to tell her that.
Me: I bought another battery for my original halo g6 babe, its just really big.
She scowls at me and whispers
Her: You suck at lying P. I don't really care. Just enough button pushing for this month, xmas is coming up babe. Santa has to fill stocking. You feel me? Ring a ding ding.
She gives me a kiss and walks in to make dinner. I sigh and lean back in my chair. Did I tell you I have a vivid imagination? I do. I blow stuff out of proportion. You should see what goes on in my head at my annual doctors visit
Me: BACK DEMON DAWG!, where were you going to put that bucko!! On the first date? You must think me a hussy! I am not that type of girl! (when asked to come in so my doc could discuss my blood tests and check up results.
The Nurse: So we have you down for 2 pm with doctor HR puff and stuff alright P?
Me: (sigh) Ok i'll be there.
In this whole wide world I hope that everyone finds there true love. For me it was a 5ft tall women with a napoleon complex and a love for quirky hyperactive overly sensitive and spazzy me.
You won this round wife. The next round is mine!
She'll quit when she feels like it. I can't use her as my excuse to not quit smoking. We all have our excuses. My wife's was her job, mine was her. So if she quits with ecigs, cool. Or if she just goes cold turkey on her own its her choice. Or if she just can't quit well thats all right too. I'll love her no matter what. Smoke breath and all.
Ah the blu ecig. Before I forget. Its f-ing terrible. Like really bad. The batts suck, the juice is horredous. I know I know everyone loves johnson creek but me. Its gross. I tried it 3 years ago and it hasn't gotten much better yet. BLU ecigs are a terrible starter kit for anyone trying to see if they could possibly quit with the ecig. I tried some today when I forgot my ecig in the house I took a puff and then looked at the ecig in my hand as I muttered
"It DOES taste like burnt cotton candy." Gotta love my wife. Your really selling to her. If she doesn't like it, the major populace won't either. So ecig companies, start working harder. Kissing ashtray mouth for the rest of my life doesn't sit very well with me.
\ I've been through the quitting together a couple of times, it sure as heck is easy to find something to blame the other for and as a repercussion you start smoking again....that'll teach em!
