ByStander = "Too Stupid to Run" and/or "Too Stubborn to Be Quiet"

[ByStander1]

This is in the front cover of my booklet. I mean every word of it:

“Every time I try to quit, my family buys me cigarettes. It’s self-preservation, I think. They’re just wondering if I’m going to kill them or eat them first.”
“Let’s take my car. I love to drive.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for my smoke to go right in your face.”
“Movies have gotten too expensive. I’ll just wait for the DVD.”
“Yes, I know it affects the company image. I’m working on it.”
“I’m just getting over a virus, doctor. I don’t usually cough like this.”
“Something’s going to kill me. Guaranteed.”
“No, I don’t want the receipt. That’s just proof of the crime.”
“With all this going on?! You bet I’m smoking!”

These are all things I’ve said over the decades of my smoking life. Sometimes I was joking, and sometimes I wasn’t. All the time, I was sincere. Underlying all of it was soul-crushing, spirit-numbing guilt.

So, to every smoker out there, get this if nothing else, “No more guilt!” Seriously. Enough.

If you decide to continue smoking, do it with a clear conscience. You are a revenue source, a “cash cow” that has no comparison. Government agencies, government-funded researchers, non-profit “live healthier” organizations, the healthcare industry, pharmaceutical companies, tobacco retailers, and ’big tobacco’ are all counting on you riding the smoking-go-round for the rest of your days. You sacrifice your money, your health, and possibly your life. Do not hang your head and sacrifice your dignity to anyone receiving funding and a paycheck from you.

Every time I visit with a smoker, it rips at my heart to see how their head hangs and their eyes keep going to the floor. Truth is, it makes me want to rip the hearts out of others (with my fingernails and teeth). It's about time the "Qu-t line" funds were re-routed to "800-Compassion" lines!

 

[Lisa66]

I've said a couple of those things myself, including lying to my doctor. You're right, it is very sad and a more compassionate approach, along with more options - the use of PV's being one of them- makes a lot more sense.

 

[ByStander1]

After over a year of zero analogs, I finally admitted to myself that I could put away a carton in 3 days when I was smoking. Amazing the incredible psychological warping we go through as smokers! Disgusting, however, is how so many encourage that damage...

I've been known to turn to family members of a smoker that disdainfully utter a phrase like "no willpower" and say, "Exactly how many miles did you run this morning?" or "What is your current BMI?"

After the shock -- from both the well-intentioned family member and the smoker -- I explain that we all make life choices that affect our overall health. As adults, we are entitled to make those choices for ourselves. It is nothing less than cruel that the world has declared "open season" on smokers, whether it be in private with their families or in public with strangers. Of course, continuously being cornered creates anxiety, and then the smoker has a need for nicotine to relieve the additional stress. So, although their hearts are in the right place, they are unwittingly helping to strengthen and keep the smoker in a vicious, debilitating loop. Not taking part in the bullying will increase the smoker's odds of successfully switching to something else for nicotine -- if the smoker wishes.

[Not only that, but does the world really need more bullies? ]

 

[ByStander1]

Legislation vs Reality

We see this conflict everyday. In my former life (pre-vaping), I gave a wicked, angry chuckle, then just checked my account balance, due bills, payroll, etc. Now, my world is different, and I get, hmmm, ...where would you get, emotionally/psychologically speaking?

Reality

Yesterday, I spent some time with a woman that is a lung cancer survivor. Her sister, a new vaper, recommended she speak with me -- after showing-off and sharing her "new toys."

The lady, B, had bought a kit months ago from a tobacco store. It was the usual pre-filled carto set. Like most, she didn't like it, and although she had used it to cut-back on her smoking, she is still smoking (heavily, according to my nose).

When she stepped into the RV, she was joining a little vaping party with me and a couple of my dear ladies. These two ladies are amazing, and my joy-o-meter pings everytime I'm with them. I was more of a waitress than anything. It was a blast! The fabulous ladies are enjoying new flavors for themselves, showing B how to use equipment, telling her about their favorites, and sharing their own stories with her.

These two are a mother and daughter. The mother had severe health/lung issues months ago that she no longer suffers. The daughter is a mother herself, and is happy she'll never go through all she watched her mother go through. When they were happily stocked, they headed out for more fun together.

Now, I was back with B. She told me she came to see me, "because of this." She handed me papers from an envelope. They were medical reports. She now has new nodes in her lungs. She is going today to see her pulmonary specialist for the latest assessment and planning.

As we were playing and finding what she likes, I prepared her for her visit with her doctor: "Don't expect him to be in favor of this At All. If he is, I'm thrilled. If he's not, let him know he's free to call me or schedule a meet time. I'll be happy to share information, research, and my "want to be contacted" vaper list. Remember, he hears most of his info from organizations that don't care about You. Your family cares about You. Bottom line, your life is yours. Whether it's coming from your doctor or me or your tax man, your decisions are in your hands. Even God wants you to make decisions for yourself, right?"

She left with the usualy lit for herself and some extras to give her doc. I'll be following-up with her later today or tomorrow.

Legislation vs Reality and You

Here's where we all come into this. Chapter IX of the Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act (FSPTCA) could be used to make equipment, liquids, etc. not on the market before 2007 (think I got this right -- in a rush this morning) illegal. So, the device that did not work for B would continue to be conveniently available, but not the type of stuff most of us use.

So, even if you have enough liquid to fill an Olympic-sized pool and batteries to light-up Times Square, don't you think it would be reprehensible for it to become a crime for people like B to learn about the "good stuff?" If you do, please do all you can to let every legislator know what you think (and how you'll vote).

The Legislation thread here on ECF has tons of information. And CASAA needs members -- they are us!

...stepping off of my soapbox (for the moment )

 

[CES]

Great story and thanks for the reminder BS!!!

 

[Lisa66]

Ok ByStander, I'm stepping up (not specifically to the soapbox but to CASAA). I've peeked every once in a while and have been meaning to get involved.

You are goooooooooooood.

 

[ByStander1]

Ok ByStander, I'm stepping up (not specifically to the soapbox but to CASAA). I've peeked every once in a while and have been meaning to get involved.

You are goooooooooooood.

You are going to Amaze Yourself!!! (I already know you're incredible!!!)

 

[ByStander1]

Today she learned the lung cancer is back. Nonetheless, she is hopeful about beating it and about vaping...

She said she kept arguing with herself about whether or not to tell the doc she is now vaping. Eventually, she went ahead and told him -- with a demonstration.

"And how did he respond," I asked.

"He's thrilled! After I showed him what it was and how it worked, he went and grabbed one of his nurses. She smokes. They both want brochures..."

We chatted for a bit. She is a totally different person than the one that sat with me only a day ago. Yesterday, she had that downcast, guilty manner far too common in smokers. Today, even after learning she'll be fighting cancer again, she is lively and confident. I doubt the news about the disease perked her up much. My guess is feeling empowered with a realistic alternative to smoking cigarettes, combined with positive support for that decision, has something to do with it.

Truth is, I don't care if the change is because she read One Fish Two Fish before she came in, it was Beautiful to See!

 

[Fudgey]

((((((B))))) Such a sad and happy story!!!

 

[ByStander1]

Points to remember:

"Gateway to smoking cigarettes" argument:

Most of us endured the taste of cigarettes when we started smoking to get the nicotine. ...and to not look totally un-cool in front of our friends

• If you've associated your nicotine with S'mores, will you really pick up an analog and go, "Mmmm, this tastes so much better. Think I'll do this instead!"
• ...Only sane "gateway" would be from smoke to vapor. Wouldn't that be a good thing?

Underage sale argument:

First of all, with internet sales being the primary source of supplies...

• Credit card payments fall into "parenting" domain: parents giving no supervision on cc usage?
• Children are ever so patient. Yeah, they'll wait for the mail to deliver their next 'being bad experiment.'

Getting one at stores:

• The places that will stay in business if Chapter IX is applied to ecigs are the ones selling the cheapos at tobacco stores, convenience stores, etc.
  If there are underage sales, isn't it most likely to occur when buying from an hourly, minimum-wage, work-for-two-weeks employee rather than a self-employed entrepreneur? ...a person that went into the business in the first place because pvs "saved their life?" Seems the latter will be far more concerned about protecting the industry than about making a few bucks on a quick sale (or filling the time until clock-out).

Getting one from adults:

• "Bumming a cigarette" is one thing. "Bumming a $100 pv" is quite another.
• If a parent switches their child to an ecig from cigs, isn't saving young lungs important, too? Sounds like responsible parenting to me.
• Oh yeah... Underage sale isn't happening! Everyone just talks about the "potential" for harm

Marketing to youth argument:

• "Hey kiddies, save up your birthday and Christmas money. You can have one of these! This is far more fun than that video game you were checking out!" (geesh)

If, however, I wanted to market to kids, I'd do the following:

• Have price-points low enough for the average kid's pocketbook [FDA applying Chapter IX will keep these, and little else, on the market]
• Mention something about "sales to children," "danger to children," "horrors of nicotine addiction" in every newspaper, television, etc interview possible [every non-profit and government agency does this "for the sake of the children" without fail]
• Include "sneakiness" possibilities in advertising...
  "You're parents won't even know you're doing it. Sorry, but there's no intoxication from nicotine, so you'll have to get that from something else. Again, all apologies, but these aren't very dangerous to your health. They do have this going for them, charging those batteries can be a little tricky to hide from your parents, so you may get caught after all!"
• Ban underage sale
  Seriously, we all know kids hit the floor with one thought on their minds each day: "Now, how can I please my parents today?" ...yeah, right. If yours do this, it really is illegal to keep them locked in a cage. [Trying to escape captivity is the only scenario I can come up with where this mindset might exist.]
  
  Think about this: If your local elementary banned red crayons, what do you think would happen?

 

[CES]

Great talking points, as always, BS!

(I was just thinking of the irony of your user name- there's no way that you're a bystander in this fight!)

 

[ByStander1]

(I was just thinking of the irony of your user name- there's no way that you're a bystander in this fight!)

I am a huge movie buff though, so it was a toss-up: "Obnoxious Blonde in Crowd" and "Woman with Big Purse" were too long, it seemed... didn't think of Big Mouthed Woman at the time, but "BS" seems to fit better than "BMW"

(thank you, sweetie)

 

[Lisa66]

ByStander, excellent points in your post #210..............Imma steal some of those if you don't mind!

BTW, what do you think of the proposed documentary - "We Are Vapers"? We Are Vapers -- IndieGoGo

 

[ByStander1]

steal some of those if you don't mind!

Thank you, and please, Steal Away!!!

BTW, what do you think of the proposed documentary - "We Are Vapers"? We Are Vapers -- IndieGoGo

I've not gotten through all of the broadcast yet, but so far, it sounds like a wonderfully incredible idea!

 

[ByStander1]

This morning, my son and I were having a discussion about how far I'd be willing to go if the FDA bans all but the most pathetic equipment and liquids...

In my mind, ...

...I'm diagramming a second, hidden tank on my car's undercarriage that can hold at least 15 gallons of liquid...

...the engine's big enough to safely handle high-speed chases...

...I'll need to practice radical maneuvering... (I haven't played those games in decades)

I'm getting all fired-up in the verbal part of this discussion, "So what? Something's worthwhile as long as the bottom line stays in the black?"

He tries to say, "I mean..." He's a diplomat. I'm not.

"How is that position any different than the justifications of BP? Or the fraud and death admins themselves?"

I finally took a swig of coffee or something, because he had the opportunity to finish a sentence. "Mom, I mean, you can't help anyone if you're broke or in jail."

"Oh." I heard me say this, and it was a mousy, pathetic voice that rang in my ears. My son is amazing, and I'm such a sanctimonious b---h, often.

He continued, and ended with this:

"I agree. Having only the ethics you can afford means having no ethics at all."

My final yell as I ran around gathering things for the day, "Write that down! Now!!! Love you more every minute!"

 

[Lisa66]

...Smart boy!