Goes like this. I'll start telling a tale. Next poster picks up where I left off and so on. Hey maybe we can get it published after it's done. A million dollar book deal will buy alot of e-liquid:
It had been so long since he had tasted a candy bar. Our hero had been living in a tent for close to three months now. Bathing in a lake and eating tree rats. He had kept a count and so far had killed 72 zombies. He ran out of bullets last week and the trip to the hardware store had not gone well. He had damned near gotten bit and found not a single bullet. The first aid kit and warm cola he found almost made it worth it, but man he came close to going native that night.
So there he sat perched on his favorite tree branch. He knew it was a bad idea to try and raid the convenience store. He counted at least 4 shamblers lurking around in there. He looked through his binoculars and his mouth watered at the sight of the candy bars in front of the counter. He thought to himself: "well it doesn't look I will ever get laid again so chocolate is as close as I can get." He grabbed his katana and headed down the hill. As he approached the parking lot he heard a shrill wail in the distance. What the hell was that??" he thought to himself. "Didn't sound like a shambler and definitely not human."
He was already commited at this point and two were coming his way. The first was obviously the station attendent. His overalls were stained with blood and there were little pieces of skull stuck in his handlebar mustache. Our hero dashed into action spinning in mid air with a hard swing of the katana completely severing the first zombie's head. As he stepped toward his next opponent he heard the wail again, this time sounding closer. (maybe a mile away?) No time to worry about that. He stepped towards the next brain eater with purpose. She was heavy set and wearing sweat pants. "you shoulda infested wal mart instead" he yelled as he impaled then eviscerated her. She looked very strange squirming around with half of her torso gone.
He kicked the front door open and jumped on the front counter. Two more came at him both wearing police uniforms. "I'm sorry officer but I am going to need to see some ID!" he shouted as he deftly severed both of their heads. Stuffing candy bars in his pockets, he jumped from the counter and was about to leave when he noticed the front windows of the cooler looked foggy. "Wow" he thought how does this cooler still have power? (He hadn't noticed the solar panels on top of the store.) Cold beer! He couldn't resist. As he opened the cooler door and grabbed a 24 pack of his favorite brew, a hand lurched from behind the beer bottles and grabbed his throat. A big bald headed biker looking zombie, burst through the cooler and threw him into the lotto machine. He kept a kung fu grip on his katana and jumped back to his feet doing his very best Chuck Norris impression. Suddenly that horrible wail wasn't a mile away any more, it was coming from the parking lot. He jabbed his blade right between the giant (but slow moving) zombie biker's eyes and jerked it back and forth, clipping half the zombies head onto the linoleum.
He looked around the front of the building and saw the coast was clear. He grabbed is beer and headed back out the front door. He saw something on the roof out of the corner of his eye but when looked closer it was gone. "Am I losing my mind?" he wondered. "Zombies can't climb!" Nervously he ran around the building. He heard that awful wail again, but saw no source for it. Fortunately, there was a big badass Harley parked there. He figured it must have been his lucky day because the bike's tank was full, it started right up and he found a glock 40 with 6 spare clips in the saddle bag. As he cranked the bike up and sped away, he looked back and saw what appeared to be a woman wearing a medical gown standing on the rooftop of the store laughing at him....
It had been so long since he had tasted a candy bar. Our hero had been living in a tent for close to three months now. Bathing in a lake and eating tree rats. He had kept a count and so far had killed 72 zombies. He ran out of bullets last week and the trip to the hardware store had not gone well. He had damned near gotten bit and found not a single bullet. The first aid kit and warm cola he found almost made it worth it, but man he came close to going native that night.
So there he sat perched on his favorite tree branch. He knew it was a bad idea to try and raid the convenience store. He counted at least 4 shamblers lurking around in there. He looked through his binoculars and his mouth watered at the sight of the candy bars in front of the counter. He thought to himself: "well it doesn't look I will ever get laid again so chocolate is as close as I can get." He grabbed his katana and headed down the hill. As he approached the parking lot he heard a shrill wail in the distance. What the hell was that??" he thought to himself. "Didn't sound like a shambler and definitely not human."
He was already commited at this point and two were coming his way. The first was obviously the station attendent. His overalls were stained with blood and there were little pieces of skull stuck in his handlebar mustache. Our hero dashed into action spinning in mid air with a hard swing of the katana completely severing the first zombie's head. As he stepped toward his next opponent he heard the wail again, this time sounding closer. (maybe a mile away?) No time to worry about that. He stepped towards the next brain eater with purpose. She was heavy set and wearing sweat pants. "you shoulda infested wal mart instead" he yelled as he impaled then eviscerated her. She looked very strange squirming around with half of her torso gone.
He kicked the front door open and jumped on the front counter. Two more came at him both wearing police uniforms. "I'm sorry officer but I am going to need to see some ID!" he shouted as he deftly severed both of their heads. Stuffing candy bars in his pockets, he jumped from the counter and was about to leave when he noticed the front windows of the cooler looked foggy. "Wow" he thought how does this cooler still have power? (He hadn't noticed the solar panels on top of the store.) Cold beer! He couldn't resist. As he opened the cooler door and grabbed a 24 pack of his favorite brew, a hand lurched from behind the beer bottles and grabbed his throat. A big bald headed biker looking zombie, burst through the cooler and threw him into the lotto machine. He kept a kung fu grip on his katana and jumped back to his feet doing his very best Chuck Norris impression. Suddenly that horrible wail wasn't a mile away any more, it was coming from the parking lot. He jabbed his blade right between the giant (but slow moving) zombie biker's eyes and jerked it back and forth, clipping half the zombies head onto the linoleum.
He looked around the front of the building and saw the coast was clear. He grabbed is beer and headed back out the front door. He saw something on the roof out of the corner of his eye but when looked closer it was gone. "Am I losing my mind?" he wondered. "Zombies can't climb!" Nervously he ran around the building. He heard that awful wail again, but saw no source for it. Fortunately, there was a big badass Harley parked there. He figured it must have been his lucky day because the bike's tank was full, it started right up and he found a glock 40 with 6 spare clips in the saddle bag. As he cranked the bike up and sped away, he looked back and saw what appeared to be a woman wearing a medical gown standing on the rooftop of the store laughing at him....
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soul!" then she stormed off in tears. He didn't make that meeting and it was a decision that set his work back for more then two years. Looking at her eyes now, he knew he had made the right choice. He spoke first, waving his arms to show he had no weapons. "Hello, I am human! I am not hostile!"