CONTEST - The VOLT by SmokelessImage.com
- Thread starter Imagine
- Start date
- th_trl_thread_readers 0
- Status
OK, you're making it really hard to not post stuff in here. If I'm able to enter again, this will get all the votes. (Hint, hint. 
) You have to have watched the original Star Trek, and be familiar with Monty Python to really enjoy it though.
) You have to have watched the original Star Trek, and be familiar with Monty Python to really enjoy it though.
Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
A: So they can hide in cherry trees!
Q: Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
A: Must work then huh?
A: So they can hide in cherry trees!
Q: Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
A: Must work then huh?
I have read that joke when I was a kid (101 stupid elephant jokes)
How do you make an elephant float?
Take a glass of root beer & add one scoop of elephant.
And my fave from that book:
why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks!
How do you make an elephant float?
Take a glass of root beer & add one scoop of elephant.
And my fave from that book:
why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks!
A burglar broke into a house one night.
He shined his flashlight around,
looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you ?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed.
'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
Sorry for all the confusion
Katz
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, go in for a job interview. First the redhead gets called in. About 15 minutes later she comes back out and returns to her seat. Then the brunette goes in. About 15 minutes later she comes back out and returns to her seat. Then the blond goes in. After about 15 minutes the interviewer tells her that she has all the qualifications, but he cannot hire her. When she asked why, he said it was because she was a blonde.
The woman stormed out of the office in tears, jumped in her car, and sped away. On her way home she saw a blonde woman in a row boat in the middle of a dry field, just paddling away. She freaked out, slammed on her breaks, and jumped out of her car. She yelled at the woman, "It's people like you that give blondes like me a bad name, and if I knew how to swim, I'd come out there and kick your a**!"
The woman stormed out of the office in tears, jumped in her car, and sped away. On her way home she saw a blonde woman in a row boat in the middle of a dry field, just paddling away. She freaked out, slammed on her breaks, and jumped out of her car. She yelled at the woman, "It's people like you that give blondes like me a bad name, and if I knew how to swim, I'd come out there and kick your a**!"
Hi everyone I want to give away a kit! lets keep those entries and "likes" coming!
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, ''Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?' Mabel answered, 'I have a suppository in my ear?' She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, 'Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid.'
Second one:
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd... "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answered "sure".
The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 130-page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep. "That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.
Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my animal?", "OK, why not." answered the young man. "Clearly, you are a consultant." said the shepherd. "That's correct." says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business...... Now give me back my dog."
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd... "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?" The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answered "sure".
The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 130-page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep. "That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.
Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my animal?", "OK, why not." answered the young man. "Clearly, you are a consultant." said the shepherd. "That's correct." says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business...... Now give me back my dog."
Last edited:
What did the WHOLE world and their alts "Like" you?
What can I say... I have friends!!!
And please don't question the stats...
...The last person who questioned me or my stats. got shot in the eye this last weekend...
donei -
That is most swine filled post ever!!!
You should be banned from ECF
Looks painfull!!!
Must be swine flew, that should be treated by a medical professional!!!
Last edited:
NO!
Just Vote For Me
For post #33 on Page 4
Please not here.
Only my first two post count
For this one...
post #33 on Page 4
Last edited:
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked
- Locked
