My cold turkey quits were among the most miserable of my life, including the 18 months where I somehow managed to quit when I was pregnant and nursing (I smoked one cigarette at my dad's second wedding, but well you had to be there, it was kinda justified.)
My frustration with cold turkey was that the cravings maybe levelled off, but they never completely WENT AWAY. I was not ABLE to live with that kind of craving and misery in any long term kind of basis. I genuinely think that for some smokers, brains are wired different.
I did not WANT to endanger my health, to make my son's life hard for being "that mom" who smoked, I did not WANT to suffer cravings in between smoking breaks, to smell like tobacco to my clients, some of whom were kids, I did not want ANY of that and what made it worse was the entire TIME I could remember back to ages however until 18, where I never even KNEW what a cigarette was like let alone what it was to CRAVE one. I've made some bad decisions in my life, but I think smoking was the one I regretted the WORST. I did not enjoy the judgments, the faces of my friends and family as I smoked, no matter WHAT. It wasn't pleasant, it's not an easy thing in todays society being either a smoker or a former smoker at least for some of us.
My dad is the same way. He went about 30 years giving up cigarettes before relapsing, and afte his heart attack he got back on the wagon but still says, "Anna, sometimes the only think keeping me from smoking is the knowledge that I would have to quit AGAIN."
That vaping works is miracle number one that it actually allows life to be TOLERABLE is the real miracle, too. I had given up on quitting smoking pretty much and it was scary facing that "one day soon, your whole life will be about COPD, disability and suffering" and feeling powerless to stop it. I am so grateful I tried that "One last chance at vaping."
The fact that is currently being demonized by our government infuriates me. It is not being treated fairly, justly, in a humane manner. I genuinely believe at some point down the road, we will see a world in which there is little to no tobacco. It may not be in my lifetime, but it may well come to pass. The opposite is possible, but I do hope that things continue to progress in a better way.
Just figured I'd infuse some optimism, and to those with the magical fairy start dust to convert smokers, keep up the good work. You all rock. I wouldn't have encountered vaping were it not for a gentleman with COPD and an oxygen tank, who told me all about it, many years ago. I am grateful to that gentleman.
Anna
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