"Dad Jokes"

[DavidOck]

Why can't you trust atoms?

Well, they make up everything...

 

[SilverBear]

Why did the cowboy name his horse "Mayo"?

Because Mayo neighs.

Sigh.

Why did the farmer name his rooster "Robinson"?

(ugh)

Because it "crue so".

...outta here ...

 

[bobsyeruncle]

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

 

[retired1]

When two vegans get in an argument, is it still called a beef?

 

[bobsyeruncle]

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."

 

[ShowMeTwice]

What did one hat say to the other?




Stay here! I'm going on ahead.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

My favorite novel is The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.

 

[classwife]

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?


Ten


Ten tickles

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Did you hear about the guy in a horrific accident who lost his entire left side? He's all right now!

 

[DavidOck]

 

[Izan]

Why is six afraid of seven?


Because seven eight nine.

cheers
I

 

[bobsyeruncle]

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

 

[retired1]

Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

 

[retired1]

I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.

 

[somdcomputerguy]

I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.

 

[somdcomputerguy]

I have so many dad jokes that I have to keep them in a dadabase to remember them all..

 

[ShowMeTwice]

Grocery store checker: "Paper or plastic?"




Dad: "Either, I’m bisacktual.”

 

[ShowMeTwice]

You heard of that new band 1023MB?




They're good but they haven't got a gig yet.

Spoiler: and for those that don't know......

1024 MB = 1 GB (a gig)

 

[retired1]

Did you hear about the teenager who failed his driving test?











He thought it was a crash course.