It's really scary to see how your senses come back once you've dumped analogs for good. Since I'm the "chef" of the house, I've learned that my gift of taste and smell could also be a burden. I felt like Peter Parker while he was learning his new found powers as he became Spider-Man.
As my senses started coming back after the third day or so, I've also noticed some weird things going on. I usually have a relaxing vape after lunch sometimes with music and sometimes without. This was a day without. So I'm sitting there in the gentle quiet and vaping away when I heard what sounded like someone moving a chair leg across the floor in the dining room. You know, that abrupt "rrrr" sound. It wasn't too loud, but audible. I was alone in the house, and I knew that no one else should be here. I slowly got up to check and made sure I didn't make any noise so I wouldn't be noticed. I gripped my trusty new VaporKing in such a way that I would use it to stab someone's eyes out if I had to. As I turned the last corner of the hallway, I was relieved to see that it was just my chihuahua there. No sign of a break-in or anything out of the ordinary.
How can this be? I know what I heard.
I have come to the conclusion that it was him passing gas. Yes, you read that right. My 6 pound chihuahua farted. Ever since I've rescued him at the shelter 3 years ago, I have never heard this before. In fact, I have personally never heard this from any dog I've ever owned. It really threw me in a weird place. Laugh now, for there is proof that it wasn't just me.
My wife and I were sitting across from each other watching some tv. Good ol' Kiba was sitting there with her. As we decided to vape a little, he decided to jump down and sit with me. As he landed, we were greeted by the same noise that I heard the other day. Only this time there was a witness (and less reverb). She looked at me and said,
"OMG, did you hear that?!" As we laughed our asses off, something caught me off guard. The inhalation of oxygen when I was laughing my ... off was abruptly halted by gagging and coughing. It wasn't my body getting rid of phlegm from smoking all of those analogs. It was nostril full of dog food fart. I don't know whether it was the laughing or the mini mustard gas, but I was tearing to say the least.
See? It wasn't just me.
Wait, you're already forgetting something...
Remember, I'm the "chef" of the house. I've only covered the
smelling part of the story. No, wait. I think that should actually cover it. I don't think anyone wants to hear what the
taste part of it was like.
Needless to say that I am now switching him back to his old dog food.
I've already been dismissed once, and I don't plan on going back anytime soon.
