Not an entry:
(this is what I used to rehearse as I walked into the post office)...
"Why YES, Mr. Postmaster!
I AM a connoisseur of
fine battery housings!
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and these ARE the flavorings I use for my
"Organic Clove-Menthol-Licorice-Tobacco" muffins!
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image source: http://wootbymai.blogspot.com/2011/11/scary-cupcakes-dare-to-eat.html