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Funniest Fasttech description?

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DeeDee1234

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gotvapes is selling that too. I thought English was their primary language :blink:

"The Dome Dripper - eSolid Atomizer - ALPHA (first version, may have bugs)

Bulb style atomizer for use in using esolid juice which is available in this same category. Dripping type of experience where you dab on a few dabs then vape. Recommended to dab only what you plant (sic) on vaping consecutively. Alpha product."

Translation(?): It appears Dabbing is the new Dripping. One should only dab when vaping consecutively while planting tulips.


The Dome Dripper - $7.95


oh my , who writes that stuff. I can see fashtechs issue,but these guys
 

DeeDee1234

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esolid.jpg

weird
 

Statistic

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Holy Moley! That looks awful!!

One thing that jumped off my screen was the ingredient list on the tube.. no thanks. And this snippet (4th hand now from the source) is not even remotely reassuring:

"everything that is in it is in small amounts and all the ingredients are used in all our food products every day"
 

Train2

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the_vape_nerd

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gotvapes copy translated:

I was looking at their new carto tanks:

"Very attractive 3.0ml carto tank, extremely well sealed. You can disassemle (sic) the tank from this unit but it is so well sealed into the top and bottom o-rings that you are instead provided a top knurled screw-in fill port through which you can fill your tank without removal of your cart!"

Translation: You need a wrench to get the carto out.

"Earlier releases of the X series tanks provide a machined hole at the base but no extra screw. Many speculated this was to hold the top screw when refilling so as not to lose it. We surmised it may be there to provide additional air flow control."

Translation: The first version leaked. The second version came with a screw we thought was supposed to stop the leaking, but it doesn't; it also leaks. We don't know what the screw is for. Bob, in sales, speculated, while Jim, in receiving, surmised it has a purpose. (Bob's wife also speculated, which counts as "many.")


"With its clean quasi-steam-punk appearance, stainless tip and highly polished top and bottom caps you simply have a nice sophisticated entry and somewhat low-profile entry into the carto tank market. This is a KEEPER!"

Translation: No warranty; no returns. It doesn't come with directions. You have to keep it no matter what.

Note: Quasi-steam-punk? Sophisticated? Low-profile? I suggest you pick a theme and stick with it. Those descriptions aren't quite synonymous.

"The tube can be removed but it is very tight. You will need to use your thumbnail to wedge at the top of the tube and bottom to wiggle it off. We suggest removing the bottom screw to provide air displacement to make this easier."

Translation: You need a wrench.

"You do not have to use the bottom screw and not using it or adjusting it MAY provide more airflow if desired. We haven't verified this."

Translation: We REALLY don't know what the screw is for.

"We would suggest keeping fill screw in the fill port to provide proper vacuum pull and also to avoid misplacement."

Translation: If you don't use the easily lost fill-screw the tank will leak from the top too.

It was also described as "nifty" somewhere in the listing.

gotvapecartotank.jpg

masterfully done...hahahaha i would like this 8,000 times if i could
 

Train2

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Wait! There's a new contender: KANGER

Mini Protank is most Innovated ego series version. the glass surrounding provide best safety and healthier environment for e-liquid, the heating coil are placed at button which is are much better to heating the e-liquid, you dont need to always reverse the cartomizer all the time, and the heating coil still able to replace.

C'mon, that's good: ...the heating coil are placed at button which is are much better to heating...

I also learned, you could get EVOD's direct from Kanger as low as $2.40 each - as long as you buy 10,000 of them. Interesting.
 

poetofisis

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Oh hell... Alibaba is what kills me! Check this chicanery out:

"The atomizer can be detached in small parts."
IE: when dropped.

"When the vivi nova atomizer is broken, you just need to change a coil inside the tube .save most of money."
Yes, do indeed save most of money... by avoiding us!

"100% no leakage, no bad smell, no explosion of the tube."
No explosions? Well that's handy! Less fun... but handy.

"With Professional team, superior quality, reasonable price, considerate service, we sincerely hope to build friendly relationship with you side!"
What... are you defecting?!

"It can be compatible with 510 and eGo series batteries."
Can be compatible... translation: Good luck. Welding may be required. Also, may turn the entire mod into an arc welder. Please be careful with product ours and good luck!

Bare mind in this all off one was product page. Wow...
 

ScottP

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Oh hell... Alibaba is what kills me! Check this chicanery out:

"The atomizer can be detached in small parts."
IE: when dropped.

"When the vivi nova atomizer is broken, you just need to change a coil inside the tube .save most of money."
Yes, do indeed save most of money... by avoiding us!

"100% no leakage, no bad smell, no explosion of the tube."
No explosions? Well that's handy! Less fun... but handy.

"With Professional team, superior quality, reasonable price, considerate service, we sincerely hope to build friendly relationship with you side!"
What... are you defecting?!

"It can be compatible with 510 and eGo series batteries."
Can be compatible... translation: Good luck. Welding may be required. Also, may turn the entire mod into an arc welder. Please be careful with product ours and good luck!

Bare mind in this all off one was product page. Wow...

Yeah to quote all of the "Engrish" from Alibaba you would have to just make a duplicate of the entire website.

By the way, the guys at Alibaba learned to speak English from the "Correctly English Society" in just 100 days.

correctly-english-100-days.jpg
 
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skyztheLynnit

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Oh hell... Alibaba is what kills me! Check this chicanery out:

"With Professional team, superior quality, reasonable price, considerate service, we sincerely hope to build friendly relationship with you side!"
What... are you defecting?!
oman.. I'm crying :lol:
 
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