Huh! I seem to remember my Dad and I having this conversation...
However, I don't think every parent have that conversation with their child. I remember some stinkers while in boot camp. IT was Resolved pretty quickly.
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God does have a sense of humor
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Huh! I seem to remember my Dad and I having this conversation...
However, I don't think every parent have that conversation with their child. I remember some stinkers while in boot camp. IT was Resolved pretty quickly.
I had to have the same conversation with one of my employees once. I considered it doing him a favor. What would be mean is to the the other kids get a chance to say something.
Flying Kitty!
This one is going to be interesting to tell and stay within the forum rules.
Going WAY back for this one. Back before I was married, back before my stay in the Marine Corps but after the dinosaurs were extinct (for some of you young smarty pants types. ).
My younger brother had gotten married to his first wife and they had gotten a mobile home to live in. They chose to live in the same small town we grew up in. So one Saturday night, we had a little party. And it was decided that I would stay the night. My brother and his wife had two small kittens.
Now except for my time in the Corps, I've always slept in the buff. I didn't make any exception that night. And, as most of us know, certain parts of a young mans body are kinda active in the morning. (ok I think I dodged that bullet)
So in the morning I wake up to a soft thump. One of the kittens is coming to visit. So I roll over, the certain body part flops over causing the sheet to move. Kitty thinks it's play time and does what cats do.
My brother tells the rest of the story this way.
"So I hear a blood curdling scream and I sit up just in time to see [cat name] flying through the air with his tail a-spinning like a propeller. From the back bedroom, down the hall and on the couch! And Steve is a cussin a blue streaK!"
Needless to say, I do not allow kittens in the bedroom ANYMORE.
This one is going to be interesting to tell and stay within the forum rules.
Going WAY back for this one. Back before I was married, back before my stay in the Marine Corps but after the dinosaurs were extinct (for some of you young smarty pants types.
).My younger brother had gotten married to his first wife and they had gotten a mobile home to live in. They chose to live in the same small town we grew up in. So one Saturday night, we had a little party. And it was decided that I would stay the night. My brother and his wife had two small kittens.
Now except for my time in the Corps, I've always slept in the buff. I didn't make any exception that night. And, as most of us know, certain parts of a young mans body are kinda active in the morning. (ok I think I dodged that bullet
)So in the morning I wake up to a soft thump. One of the kittens is coming to visit. So I roll over, the certain body part flops over causing the sheet to move. Kitty thinks it's play time and does what cats do.
My brother tells the rest of the story this way.
"So I hear a blood curdling scream and I sit up just in time to see [cat name] flying through the air with his tail a-spinning like a propeller. From the back bedroom, down the hall and on the couch! And Steve is a cussin a blue streaK!"
Needless to say, I do not allow kittens in the bedroom ANYMORE.
Clearly not! We were at a musical/dance recital a couple of weeks ago. All age ranges of kids. When the 6th graders came out, they did a 10 minute song and dance. About 2 minutes into the number, this smell wafts into the audience. At first I thought it would pass but then it just got stronger and stronger in undulating waves. Thats when I realized the stink was coming from one of the boys on stage, dancing all the grace of new born giraffe (much like the way Beyonce does - love her or hate her, the woman can't dance). I was 30 to 40 feet away from this kid and here I was, an adult man with my shirt over my nose and mouth wondering how in the hell the kids on stage next to him could breath, let alone sing and dance in the presence of that evil, overwhelming foul odor. When the dance number ended, the kids walked off stage and passed our seats. I don't remember anything for two days after than kid passed me. I did wake up in a cold sweat wondering if that's what hell smells like.
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Originally as part of basic training the U.S. Military would lock you into a room with a 6th grade boy and no real ventilation. This was later found to be cruel and unusual and was replaced with the much more humane tear gas we know of today.
Shoot! If I had known that when I was in I would have gladly walked into the CS gas chamber every year for re qualification. LOL! God I hated that stuff.
Now, keep in mind that this was back in the day when schools, with parents permission could do some pretty crazy things, but also they were no hell ben on protecting kids form reality.
I was in the Jr.ROTC in my High School days in NOLA. One of the options you could do over the summer was a leadership program. If your parents signed the right permission slips you could get to experience one of these little chambers to get an idea of what you were really in for if you went into basic.
I don't remember how long I was in there, but damn did I respect the people who did this more then once.
Flying Kitty!
Needless to say, I do not allow kittens in the bedroom ANYMORE.
Can I say ... ROFL again?!? Oh my goodness, that was a good one ... speaking of, heh! My best friends husband was um .. with her... and um ... his, uh, danglers got batted by her cat ...
[ I don't remember anything for two days after than kid passed me. I did wake up in a cold sweat wondering if that's what hell smells like.[/QUOTE]
Oh help mercy!!!
Now I gotta go to the bathroom!!!
BRB
Oh help mercy!!!
Now I gotta go to the bathroom!!!
BRB
I seem to remember 4 trips.
It got easier after you entered the Fleet (not sure what the Army calls it) unless you've ticked off your NCO in charge of the chamber.
So we troop into the chamber, the trainer ignites the cs tablet, room FILLS with this crap. Then you are instructed to remove your gas mask.
You are left standing in this lovely stuff more than long enough for any joker who tries to hold his breath to run out of air and have to breathe.
Then, one by one, you line up and, when instructed, you approach the NCO in charge and state your name, rank and serial number (SSN then). Only then, when instructed, can you leave the chamber.
During my first visit in boot camp when I got to approach the trainer/DI, my left leg was stomping my foot up and down. My body was wanting to run sooooo badly. So while I'm stating my stuff and my leg is bouncing the DI is staring into my eyes... When he says "Dismissed!" You must come to attention and yell "Aye, Aye, Sir!" then smartly leave the building. Do not run! You will be dragged back to the end of the line. (I saw it happen to a recruit ahead of me.)
God help you if you flub it. Back to the end of the line.
You think smoking makes you cough? HOOO BOY! CS or tear gas (CS has a nausea agent added to it from what I understand) make you COUGH, tears are flooding from your eyes, your exposed skin feels like you are being assaulted with sand paper and SNOT is jetting from your nose.
To make it worse this stuff clings to your clothes and your skin. Even when you are out of the chamber its not done with you. Water? Of course there IS NO WATER near by. You have to air out to get rid of this stuff.
All in all, a very pleasant afternoon.
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I seem to remember 4 trips.
It got easier after you entered the Fleet (not sure what the Army calls it) unless you've ticked off your NCO in charge of the chamber.
So we troop into the chamber, the trainer ignites the cs tablet, room FILLS with this crap. Then you are instructed to remove your gas mask.
You are left standing in this lovely stuff more than long enough for any joker who tries to hold his breath to run out of air and have to breathe.
Then, one by one, you line up and, when instructed, you approach the NCO in charge and state your name, rank and serial number (SSN then). Only then, when instructed, can you leave the chamber.
During my first visit in boot camp when I got to approach the trainer/DI, my left leg was stomping my foot up and down. My body was wanting to run sooooo badly. So while I'm stating my stuff and my leg is bouncing the DI is staring into my eyes... When he says "Dismissed!" You must come to attention and yell "Aye, Aye, Sir!" then smartly leave the building. Do not run! You will be dragged back to the end of the line. (I saw it happen to a recruit ahead of me.)
God help you if you flub it. Back to the end of the line.
You think smoking makes you cough? HOOO BOY! CS or tear gas (CS has a nausea agent added to it from what I understand) make you COUGH, tears are flooding from your eyes, your exposed skin feels like you are being assaulted with sand paper and SNOT is jetting from your nose.
To make it worse this stuff clings to your clothes and your skin. Even when you are out of the chamber its not done with you. Water? Of course there IS NO WATER near by. You have to air out to get rid of this stuff.
All in all, a very pleasant afternoon.
BTDT, Semper Fi, brother !
Graduate of the University of Parris Island, Class of 1979, Plt. 2048
LOL!!! MudPie
Loved your story .... however; I do have one question. If it wasn't your wife's secret cat you were feeding
Dang Robino! That's a BIG cat ...
We saw it from time to time, but after we adopted Momma, it seemed that cat knew to stay away. We called it Smokey because it was this light gray color.
Even after all these years, I'm not too well versed on Cat Culture...I think our cats are Tabbys, and I swear their colors are green with black stripes; my wife just shakes her head saying there is no such thing as green cats...they look green-ish to me.
OOOHRAH! San Diego (Yup a Hollywood Marine) 1987, Plt 1078. I joined late at age 27. The guys called me the Grand Old Man. The DI's called me.... Well I'm sure you know what they called me. LOL!
Semper Fi!
LOL!WHAT!?!
I have another, of course. But I need to get some work done. Tonight, I promise.
time stamp 10:?? PM last night ^^^Oh help mercy!!!
Now I gotta go to the bathroom!!!
BRB
time stamp today 1:?? PM ^^^^WHAT!?!
damn! That's a long bathroom break!!
Soory
just couldn't resist!
time stamp 10:?? PM last night ^^^
time stamp today 1:?? PM ^^^^
damn! That's a long bathroom break!!
Soory
I'm thinking I should rename this post hehehehe I am LOVING these wonderful side splitting stories.
hehehehe I am LOVING these wonderful side splitting stories.
I'll see if I can sneak in a quickie during lunch.
... A Story! What were you thinking?
... A Story! What were you thinking?
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