Hi, this is my first and probably last post on this forum. Recently i found out my 13 year old son is vaping. Hes not using a pen or something he is using a "dripmod" called troll v2 i believe. Either way, when i found out he vaped i took the vape and the oil (it was 0 nic) and after that he has been very depressed and he said the vape really helped him with school and friends. Now when i took it he has been home alot from school and he isnt with his friends anymire and he says he sants to die. I am very concerened since of course i dobt want him to commit suicide or starting to take drugs. To get to the point he sants his vape back and he says he will only use it outside and with no nicotine. I am not surw what to do. Please help. Thanks and sorry for my bad English
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Honesty since your his mother and he is expressing that type of behavior, I would be talking with his Dr. Seems to be deeper issues going on beside vaping.
It sounds like he's either very depressed, or is hoping to get his vape back. Or both.
I honestly can't tell you what to do. You are his mother, you'd have to bear the burden if he is caught as a minor with an e-cig, and you are the only one that can properly decide what you will and will not allow. By policy, ECF doesn't permit minors on the site for that reason. It's illegal. With that said I caught my 16 year old smoking and did get him replacement vape equipment, but it had rules about where it could go, and it was harm reduction. My son quit vaping as well after several years and is doing fine,
I'm not saying do that or not, but that you have to uphold YOUR values, morals, support, etc. in the way that is best for you. If he continues to say he is suicidal you should take him for a psychological evaluation, teens do suicide over the dumbest stuff, sometimes.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
Anna
I honestly can't tell you what to do. You are his mother, you'd have to bear the burden if he is caught as a minor with an e-cig, and you are the only one that can properly decide what you will and will not allow. By policy, ECF doesn't permit minors on the site for that reason. It's illegal. With that said I caught my 16 year old smoking and did get him replacement vape equipment, but it had rules about where it could go, and it was harm reduction. My son quit vaping as well after several years and is doing fine,
I'm not saying do that or not, but that you have to uphold YOUR values, morals, support, etc. in the way that is best for you. If he continues to say he is suicidal you should take him for a psychological evaluation, teens do suicide over the dumbest stuff, sometimes.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
Anna
Yes, i have talked to his doctor and it didnt help at all, i was thinking of letting him try to use the vape for a weekend to see if he gets better but thwn again, i dont want to hurt him. By thw way i talked to him about battery safety and ohmslaw and he seems to know. He is a smart kid but its so sad this happened
Thanks for the advice, it is just that, when ha had the vape he seemed so happy and did great in school and everything was fine
you are between a rock and a hard place,i can tell you a lot of us was smoking cigarettes at 13.
Now before anything take this with a grain of salt as i don't have children, but i too was 13 and dumb (not saying everyone was but you know what i mean....I hope)
Thing is vaping may be not 100% but if i had children i'd rather my kids vape than smoke, sure there's chances of stuff hapening but there's no long term research so we have no idea and like @stols001 said it's taking a chance since it's illegal for minors,but imo if his school work dosen't suffer or he dosen't do it to be cool i see no harm as long as he dosen't abuse that thing. Again only my
Thing is vaping may be not 100% but if i had children i'd rather my kids vape than smoke, sure there's chances of stuff hapening but there's no long term research so we have no idea and like @stols001 said it's taking a chance since it's illegal for minors,but imo if his school work dosen't suffer or he dosen't do it to be cool i see no harm as long as he dosen't abuse that thing. Again only my
To me, sounds like he is using the vape to manipulate mom in hopes if he acts all depressed & lets school work slip she'll cave in & allow him to do what he wants.
Slippery slope, what is next, kids/teenagers naturally test boundaries & authority. If you give in, it sets a precedent for every other thing he 'wants to do' in the future.
At 13 he & you have hundreds more things 'he is going to want to do' yet to come, it is about control, how to get what he wants by actions or threats.
If he has talked about suicide, get mental help immediately & don't stop seeking the right help until you find it.
" home a lot from school " what do you mean by that?
Not going to school? Leaving early skipping classes?
Time to find a decent counselor, for both of you.
Slippery slope, what is next, kids/teenagers naturally test boundaries & authority. If you give in, it sets a precedent for every other thing he 'wants to do' in the future.
At 13 he & you have hundreds more things 'he is going to want to do' yet to come, it is about control, how to get what he wants by actions or threats.
If he has talked about suicide, get mental help immediately & don't stop seeking the right help until you find it.
" home a lot from school " what do you mean by that?
Not going to school? Leaving early skipping classes?
Time to find a decent counselor, for both of you.
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I am pretty sure he isnt faking it since he doesnt do anything that he used to like to do before for example , going to the movies before he loved to go there and watch a movie now he never wants to go there, and also he says that he is going to take the bus to school but instead he just takes a walk and wait until i leave and then stays home. And if i give him a ride he just takes a buss back home when i leave. I am just not sure if i should let hin do it but not show to anyone or showing of on social media etc.
There is nothing in 0 nic vapor that has any psychoactive effects, PG VG & flavorings that is it...
Unless he is telling you it is 0 nic and it isn't or there is some other 'ingredient' in the liquid he uses, most likely the vape is being used as an excuse.
Again, time to find decent counselor a mental health professional, as in get busy finding mental help for your son, and don't stop until you do.
Unless he is telling you it is 0 nic and it isn't or there is some other 'ingredient' in the liquid he uses, most likely the vape is being used as an excuse.
Again, time to find decent counselor a mental health professional, as in get busy finding mental help for your son, and don't stop until you do.
I dont know for a fact that there is 0 nic but he told me and the bottle says "vape wild pinkle twinkle 65/35 and 0%" on the side i dont know what that means but maybe you guys can tell?
All it means is the bottle says 65% PG or VG & 35% VG or PG, some list VG first some list PG first, 0 nic means zero nicotine.
But, that doesn't at all mean that is what is actually in the bottle, it is very common for young folks to use empty bottles to fill with their special concoctions.
Again, no time to waste, make finding professional mental help your full time job until you both get the help you need.
A 13 year old that mentions suicide over having an 0 nic vaping setup being removed from his possession is a humongous red flag.
But, that doesn't at all mean that is what is actually in the bottle, it is very common for young folks to use empty bottles to fill with their special concoctions.
Again, no time to waste, make finding professional mental help your full time job until you both get the help you need.
A 13 year old that mentions suicide over having an 0 nic vaping setup being removed from his possession is a humongous red flag.
Vaping is not the problem here. You could substitute the word 'vape' for just about anything and the story would be the same.
The key phrase you used was '13 year old'. He's either depressed- in which case the forum cannot help you- or he's trying it on - in which case this forum cannot help you. No-one on this forum should encourage you or him to break the law.
Your son either needs therapy or discipline - you are best placed to decide which.
Good luck.
The key phrase you used was '13 year old'. He's either depressed- in which case the forum cannot help you- or he's trying it on - in which case this forum cannot help you. No-one on this forum should encourage you or him to break the law.
Your son either needs therapy or discipline - you are best placed to decide which.
Good luck.
Such a sudden behavior change shouldn't be caused by vaping 0 nic.
I had a good (older) kid who was willing to work with me, but he didn't completely change to aberrant behaviors the minute I told him no about something. With that said, yours is 13, he may genuinely feel that way, or he may be trying desperately to get his vape back.
GIVEN the fact that he began skipping school and etc the minute you set a limit though, that kind of shows he isn't responsible enough to respect your limits and/or not bring the vape places he should not, which places you at a greater risk as his mother that he will do something insanely dumb with it.
Having grown a kid AND worked with many other families (I am therapist) I actually second Topwater Elvis's advice. I know it is very scary to have your son act this way, I'm sure, doing all this over a 0 nic vape is concerning-- either his cognitive reasoning skills aren't were they need to be yet, or he is genuinely suicidal and needs help. I would suggest finding a family counselor.
Because you've taken his vape away and he has immediately started testing the waters DO NOT give his vape back, you will be rewarding either suicidal behavior when you don't do what he wants, or you will further reinforce acting out behaviors to get what he wants. The solution can NEVER be "You can have your vape back" at this point. Do you want to have to go through the same cycle when you find other MORE illegal substances in his room and he becomes "suicidal" or suicidal (faked or not)? Because if you give his vape back NOW then that is what you are setting yourself up for the rest of his adolescence. Do not do that to YOURSELF or YOUR FAMILY, it will be a total nightmare. Just my thoughts, again, you are going to have to do what you need to do.
I'm not entirely certain that your son ISN'T using 0 nic and no "additive" liquid, but you could get the bottle tested, or buy an at home urine test kit (they aren't that much) and find out exactly what else he is getting into. Also, if he continues to hold fast to the "suicidal ideation," then a few days on a locked unit may help him (if it's real, or if it's merely a threat.) Sometimes taking teens and their threats at face value can be absolutely helpful in terms of learning a lesson, or becoming less suicidal. .I still think a psychological evaluation may be in order, from a doc who can decide if he needs inpatient or not. With the threat of that, you will be able to discover if he is sincere, or messing with you. I'd actually hope for the latter, myself, although harsh and real boundaries can be hard to enforce. You should also report him to the truancy board at his school (IMO).
Best of luck,
Anna
I had a good (older) kid who was willing to work with me, but he didn't completely change to aberrant behaviors the minute I told him no about something. With that said, yours is 13, he may genuinely feel that way, or he may be trying desperately to get his vape back.
GIVEN the fact that he began skipping school and etc the minute you set a limit though, that kind of shows he isn't responsible enough to respect your limits and/or not bring the vape places he should not, which places you at a greater risk as his mother that he will do something insanely dumb with it.
Having grown a kid AND worked with many other families (I am therapist) I actually second Topwater Elvis's advice. I know it is very scary to have your son act this way, I'm sure, doing all this over a 0 nic vape is concerning-- either his cognitive reasoning skills aren't were they need to be yet, or he is genuinely suicidal and needs help. I would suggest finding a family counselor.
Because you've taken his vape away and he has immediately started testing the waters DO NOT give his vape back, you will be rewarding either suicidal behavior when you don't do what he wants, or you will further reinforce acting out behaviors to get what he wants. The solution can NEVER be "You can have your vape back" at this point. Do you want to have to go through the same cycle when you find other MORE illegal substances in his room and he becomes "suicidal" or suicidal (faked or not)? Because if you give his vape back NOW then that is what you are setting yourself up for the rest of his adolescence. Do not do that to YOURSELF or YOUR FAMILY, it will be a total nightmare. Just my thoughts, again, you are going to have to do what you need to do.
I'm not entirely certain that your son ISN'T using 0 nic and no "additive" liquid, but you could get the bottle tested, or buy an at home urine test kit (they aren't that much) and find out exactly what else he is getting into. Also, if he continues to hold fast to the "suicidal ideation," then a few days on a locked unit may help him (if it's real, or if it's merely a threat.) Sometimes taking teens and their threats at face value can be absolutely helpful in terms of learning a lesson, or becoming less suicidal. .I still think a psychological evaluation may be in order, from a doc who can decide if he needs inpatient or not. With the threat of that, you will be able to discover if he is sincere, or messing with you. I'd actually hope for the latter, myself, although harsh and real boundaries can be hard to enforce. You should also report him to the truancy board at his school (IMO).
Best of luck,
Anna
Yes, but do the other stuff as well... The evaluation in case he is genuinely suicidal (if he is, he needs treatment for it) and the family counseling (if he isn't and is just acting out.).
As a therapist, I can tell you, I've had to do things like that with my own son in the past, since I'm his mom, not his therapist. Family therapy greatly helped our household with my son growing up at various time periods. I know it sounds like a lot of work and it is, but erring on the side of caution with suicidal threats really is wise. Thirteen year olds don't have a lot of brainpower and if he's feeling really emotional and upset, I don't want you to have to go through dealing with a suicide attempt or success, given that adolescents are about the most unreasonable, emotional beings on the planet, and that stuff should be taken seriously, and do so, without giving the vape back. I'm grateful for all the skills I learned with MY son taking him to therapy myself (I really don't believe that therapists should therapize their own kids.... I'm too myopic with love for my kiddo for that.
Best of luck, glad you came and asked on this thread, that tells me you are good mom who cares enough to investigate vaping and what is going on with their kiddo.
All my best wishes to you AND your currently (very annoying and worrying but it WILL pass with help) son.
Anna
As a therapist, I can tell you, I've had to do things like that with my own son in the past, since I'm his mom, not his therapist. Family therapy greatly helped our household with my son growing up at various time periods. I know it sounds like a lot of work and it is, but erring on the side of caution with suicidal threats really is wise. Thirteen year olds don't have a lot of brainpower and if he's feeling really emotional and upset, I don't want you to have to go through dealing with a suicide attempt or success, given that adolescents are about the most unreasonable, emotional beings on the planet, and that stuff should be taken seriously, and do so, without giving the vape back. I'm grateful for all the skills I learned with MY son taking him to therapy myself (I really don't believe that therapists should therapize their own kids.... I'm too myopic with love for my kiddo for that.
Best of luck, glad you came and asked on this thread, that tells me you are good mom who cares enough to investigate vaping and what is going on with their kiddo.
All my best wishes to you AND your currently (very annoying and worrying but it WILL pass with help) son.
Anna
I agree with Mom. It's not an issue with whether it's safe or not, It's an issue over your values and how you're raising your child. Like what Mom3232 said, you've already taken the vape and told him no... so don't back down. I've always told my wife with my sons.... You've said no so they're going to negotiate any way they know how. Your son's been testing the waters for 13 years. He's been probing you for 13 years, finding out what gets on your nerves and what you're concerned with. If you give in now, he knows he has a "bargaining chip" that he can use. If it works this time, what's not to say it won't work the next, or the next. Don't give in.
Now, from just a chemical standpoint.... Zero nicotine juice shouldn't have any chemical agents that calm or sooth. Nicotine has been shown to help with ADHD, So if he's vaping zero nic juice, it shouldn't do anything. Of course, don't tell him this under ANY circumstances, since it will give him a reason to seek nicotine out and use that as a bargaining chip as well.
More than likely, what's really going on, is it looks "cool" to them and the crowd he hangs around with. Granted, I personally would rather them do zero nic vape than a cigarette. So if it were up to me, I would punish him, but let him know that since it's a vape, his punishment will be less than if it were traditional cigarettes. I personally believe in anti-smoking so much, that I would treat Cigarettes as if he was taking drugs.... but this is me.
Good luck... I have two sons myself. one is 20 and in the Marines, so he's on his own, but I also have a 10 year old, and so far, he hasn't wanted to try a vape... I told my son that the vapes are what I use to get myself off of cigarettes.
Dam how timed have changed and I'm certainly glad I never had children....all I can say is if my dad caught me doing something like that, I would be done for....first I would get a wooping, second that device would be in the canal, and third I would be grounded.. if I talked about suicide, he probably woop me again.. but times are different, and in no way saying to do this....
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Lol... your so right on that. Kids will push any boundary they think they can, and sometimes tough love is best.
Times have definitely changed.
Time to find a new doctor. Your doctor should have referred you immediately to a mental health professional for a potentially suicidal depressed kid. You need professional help.
Good luck to you. .. the teen years can be the most difficult. I wish you luck getting through them!
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