Heterosexual Questionaire

[DCrist721]

7. If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know you wouldn't prefer that?

Sleeping is relative. I have tried it. Apparently the "lets 68 and I'll owe you one" doesn't go over quite as well with the same sex.

Forgive me for sounding stupid and sexually innocent, but what the hell is 68ing? I'm guessing it's different then 69ing because with 69ing there would be no "I'll owe you one" because both parties get oral stimulation of the genitalia...

I think this is the vid you mean:

YouTube - Are you STRAIGHT?!

Oh man, I haven't had such a good laugh in a while Kate. I hope that by posting that you're not trying to secretly tell us that you're straight...

 

[ritalee76]

Forgive me for sounding stupid and sexually innocent, but what the hell is 68ing? I'm guessing it's different then 69ing because with 69ing there would be no "I'll owe you one" because both parties get oral stimulation of the genitalia...

Exactly

 

[DCrist721]

Exactly

What? I have no idea what you mean by this?

 

[nicowolf]

What? I have no idea what you mean by this?

68 would be 69 minus 1. It means someone was left unsatisfied.

Personally, I prefer 77 because you get 8 more.

 

[tribalmasters]

I think I really need a pink penstyle right now ......n that would be awesome!!

 

[Momof3]

Same sex marriage. 100% support. I see no reason why heterosexuals should be the only ones to suffer.

Homosexuals raising children. 100% support. My cousin and his DH have been trying for a couple years. I've offered any and all of mine for however long they want them as a trial run. They've declined so far. Smart for them, they probably wouldn't want any after a few days with mine.

ritalee76
11. If you choose to nurture children, would you want them to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they would face?

I want them to be happy. I don't care who they decide to have sex with.

12. The great majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you really consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?

Depends on if its a good teacher or not.

So very true.

Should anything happen to my DH and I was crazy enough to actually want to get married again, I've already picked out my bride. She agreed to all the compatibility stuff, but said what about us not wanting to sleep together. My response "How is that different from most other marriages?"

 

[taukimada]

Heterosexual Questionaire

1· What do you think caused your heterosexuality? accident of birth

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual? when i was about 5 and crawled under the neighbor ladies skirt while my father was talking to her

3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of? i don't think it's a phase... but i could prolly grow out of it if i met someone i cared enough for

4. Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex? Tauki is scared of NOBODY

5. Isn't it possible that all you need is a good Gay lover? they'd have to meet better standards than just sex

6. Heterosexuals have histories of failures in Gay relationships. Do you think you may have turned to heterosexuality out of fear of rejection? ok..this is the odd query.. if one is hetero..how do they get into the homosexual relationship to fail at?

7. If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know you wouldn't prefer that? sadly i have but not by choice... made me a VERY confused teen.. took a looooooooooong time to figure out who i was

8. If heterosexuality is normal, why are so many mental patients heterosexual? is anything or anything TRULY normal?

9. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react? actually... who i sleep with is nobody's business... one can only learn about me by observance or direct participation

10. Your heterosexuality doesn't offend me as long as you don't try to force it on me. Why do you people feel compelled to seduce others into your sexual orientation? personally..i never feel compelled to force anyone to do anything that they aren't willing to do

11. If you choose to nurture children, would you want them to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they would face? i would PREFER my children be heterosexual only as it would cause less animosty towards them from others... if that is not the case.. so be it.. i love my children

12. The great majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you really consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers? child molesters do not enter the equation... they are all scum and dont qualify as any other group in my opinion

13. Why do you insist on being so obvious, and making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality! Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet? the only public spectacle i make is that im a drunken karaoke singing ......

14. How can you ever hope to become a whole person if you limit yourself to a compulsive, exclusive heterosexual object choice and remain unwilling to explore and develop your normal, natural, healthy, God-given homosexual potential? i have the potential to be a serial killer also...aren't you glad i am not?

15. Heterosexuals are noted for assigning themselves and each other to narrowly restricted, stereotyped sex-roles. Why do you cling to such unhealthy role-playing! the only restrictions in my life are my values i set forth for myself... they are the only ones that count

16. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex? sex should always come secondary to love... if we're being honest.. at times that i would want to "just get laid" i prefer to serve myself than put that on my significant other

17. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals? funny you should mention that... i'm currently waiting to be served my papers soon

18. How could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual, considering the menace of overpopulation? seems to me the majority of the population needs to stop breeding anyway

19 There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed with which you might be able to change if you really want to. Have you considered aversion therapy? im a grunge/hard rock kinda fella... doom and gloom is my life

20. Do heterosexuals hate and/or distrust others of their own sex? Is that what makes them heterosexual? i hate and distrust everyone... saves me from anger later on when they dissapoint

 

[DCrist721]

6. Heterosexuals have histories of failures in Gay relationships. Do you think you may have turned to heterosexuality out of fear of rejection? ok..this is the odd query.. if one is hetero..how do they get into the homosexual relationship to fail at?

This is the entire point of this questionnaire. I said it wasn't really for people to fill out, and yet they did because people just can't say no to a survey, but we have gotten some funny answers. Anyway, you think it's a weird question right? Well flip it around and this is what many homosexuals are asked - "Homosexuals have histories of failures in straight relationships. Do you think you may have turned to homosexuality out of fear of rejection?" And as you said, this is a ridiculous question to ask. The entire survey is filled with ridiculous questions, that's why I said it wasn't really to fill out but to think about, but this is the entire point of this thread, to make heterosexuals realize that these questions which gays are asked are ridiculous and don't make sense.

 

[taukimada]

well... evidently i fell into the category of not being able to not fill it out LOL

actually..in filling it out i tried to be as honest as i could... i could have come up with funny little quips but chose not to... and i FULLY agree the questions are inappropriate in a general setting..and ridiculously stupid..
i just chose to "man-up" if you will and give answers.

my feelings have always been that in the long run... what i do or feel is genrally NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS and following that line also means i feel the same about you and yours.. what another does that does not directly affect me or fall into the "immoral" category of molestation, rape, or any other generally harmful to others behaviour is none of my business either..

it's a simply worded and somewhat funny statement but i think eddie murphy said it best... "you go on ahead and suck that ****.. i'm gonna have me a beer" to each thier own... whatever makes you happy can only be a good thing..seeing as there really isn't much happiness in the world anymore.

 

[K-Sound Krew]

1· What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
A loathing of facial hair and kisses that taste like Italian grinders and beer

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
The first time I noticed boobies

3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
I already passed the phase for growing out of phases; I’m in my 30’s for Christ’s sake

4. Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
I have to admit jocks and inner city gangsters scare the bajesus out of me

5. Isn't it possible that all you need is a good Gay lover?
Depends if I’m the catcher or the pitcher

6. Heterosexuals have histories of failures in Gay relationships. Do you think you may have turned to heterosexuality out of fear of rejection?
No, I turn to alcohol for my fear of rejection

7. If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know you wouldn't prefer that?
I’ve never been donkey punched, but I’m kind of sure I wouldn’t enjoy that

8. If heterosexuality is normal, why are so many mental patients heterosexual?
If they are menatally unstable how can we even be sure that they are in fact heterosexual?

9. To who have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas

10. Your heterosexuality doesn't offend me as long as you don't try to force it on me. Why do you people feel compelled to seduce others into your sexual orientation?
I’m half Italian

11. If you choose to nurture children, would you want them to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they would face?
I had a tubal ligation when I was 18, just keep that dam brat the hell away from me

12. The great majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you really consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?
What don’t you understand about tubal ligation?

13. Why do you insist on being so obvious, and making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality! Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
I spend my free time thinking of new ways to piss people off, if it upsets you I’ve done my job

14. How can you ever hope to become a whole person if you limit yourself to a compulsive, exclusive heterosexual object choice and remain unwilling to explore and develop your normal, natural, healthy, God-given homosexual potential?
I’m an introvert, I base my existence on my relationship with myself, actually me and myself just had relations last night

15. Heterosexuals are noted for assigning themselves and each other to narrowly restricted, stereotyped sex-roles. Why do you cling to such unhealthy role-playing!
I’ve always preferred FPS over RPG’s

16. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
It’s all I have, I’m poor

17. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?
Because people don’t marry their BFF’s, marriage is about crushing your dreams not beer pong

18. How could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual, considering the menace of overpopulation?
They can clone sheep now

19 There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed with which you might be able to change if you really want to. Have you considered aversion therapy?
I have an aversion to therapy

20. Do heterosexuals hate and/or distrust others of their own sex? Is that what makes them heterosexual?
No that makes them human



I declare shenanigans on this thread, this questionnaire is complete BS
I believe that gay pride and homosexual disillusionment is self indulgent;
Pride in general for something which you did not accomplish but simply relate to is superficial.
Furthermore I argue that homosexuality does not even exist except in the minds of those who identify themselves as such.

 

[Kate]

I think you're just a figment of my imagination

 

[K-Sound Krew]

I think you're just a figment of my imagination

Hehee
It's hard to rile you up

 

[Mr.Vape]

1· What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
The tastyness of breasts.

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
When I was about 1 1/2 and was under the dining room table fondling some ladies leg's in a pair of panty hose.

3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
Depends if I ever get sent to prison for life.

4. Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
Yes. I hate dudes.

5. Isn't it possible that all you need is a good Gay lover?
Sure. Then he can give me a makeover so I can get more chicks.

6. Heterosexuals have histories of failures in Gay relationships. Do you think you may have turned to heterosexuality out of fear of rejection?
No, I turned to .........ion out of fear of rejection, not heterosexuality.

7. If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know you wouldn't prefer that?
Because nothing about a hairy ... makes me think "Damn, gotta get me a piece of that!".

8. If heterosexuality is normal, why are so many mental patients heterosexual?
They're suffering the symptoms of ..... withdrawl, obviously.

9. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?
To a handful of ladytypes. They usually reacted with a variety of moans and mumbly noises.. And every now and then an "Ow, you're on my hair".

10. Your heterosexuality doesn't offend me as long as you don't try to force it on me. Why do you people feel compelled to seduce others into your sexual orientation?
If i had the ability to seduce anyone I wouldn't have made that .........ion comment above.

11. If you choose to nurture children, would you want them to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they would face?
I won't choose to nurture children, they'd just take money away from buying vaporizers.

12. The great majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you really consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?
Yes, I do. It's only the heterosexual catholic priests you have to worry about.

13. Why do you insist on being so obvious, and making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality! Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
It's not my fault that all the ladies are checking out my sugar lumps.

14. How can you ever hope to become a whole person if you limit yourself to a compulsive, exclusive heterosexual object choice and remain unwilling to explore and develop your normal, natural, healthy, God-given homosexual potential?
I have no such hopes, stop putting words in my mouth.

15. Heterosexuals are noted for assigning themselves and each other to narrowly restricted, stereotyped sex-roles. Why do you cling to such unhealthy role-playing!
Hey, if women were meant to be equal, god wouldn't have given them the ability to make such tasty sammiches.

16. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
The same reason anyone else does, everyone enjoys a happy ending.

17. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?
Not sure, ask my ex-wife, apparently she has all the answers.. CRAZY ....... I.. s-sorry.

18. How could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual, considering the menace of overpopulation?
People are incredibly stupid, lots of potential Darwin Award Winners running around out there.. And, you know, all the crazy religious zealots and their jihad durka durkas.

19 There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed with which you might be able to change if you really want to. Have you considered aversion therapy?
Well of course heterosexuals aren't as happy as homosexuals. I mean they're called GAY for cryin' out loud, they're so happy they're named after it.. 'course if I was that fabulous I'd probly be happy too.

20. Do heterosexuals hate and/or distrust others of their own sex? Is that what makes them heterosexual?
Yes, yes it is.

 

[DCrist721]

I declare shenanigans on this thread, this questionnaire is complete BS
I believe that gay pride and homosexual disillusionment is self indulgent;
Pride in general for something which you did not accomplish but simply relate to is superficial.
Furthermore I argue that homosexuality does not even exist except in the minds of those who identify themselves as such.

The questionnaire is not BS, it's just not really meant to be filled out. If you read the introduction, the purpose of the questionnaire is just to get people thinking because these are all questions that gays are asked.

And openly homsexual people accomplish a lot; everyday they make it through another day of discrimination, hate and injustice. But you don't have to accomplish something to be proud of it. Take heritage for example. You aren't proud of your heritage?

Can you provide some evidence that homosexuality does not exist outside the minds of those who identify as such? Because there are decades of scientific evidence that homosexuality is indeed "real" and carries with it a certain genetic profile. Anyone who akes such bold claims without backing it up sounds like a child telling you that there really is a monster in their closest. But if telling yourself that homosexuality isn't real makes you feel better about the strange feelings and thoughtd you have in the back of your mind then keep telling yourself that

 

[Mr.Vape]

And openly homsexual people accomplish a lot; everyday they make it through another day of discrimination, hate and injustice.

Yes, but really.. Pretty much every living human being has to deal with that stuff as well. Maybe not at the same levels, but it isn't like life is a cakewalk even for us white, heterosexual males between the ages of 25 and 40 either!

Except for when someone actually holds a cakewalk, then I guess it is a cakewalk.

 

[DCrist721]

Yes, but really.. Pretty much every living human being has to deal with that stuff as well. Maybe not at the same levels, but it isn't like life is a cakewalk even for us white, heterosexual males between the ages of 25 and 40 either!

Except for when someone actually holds a cakewalk, then I guess it is a cakewalk.

Yeah, but blacks, hispanics and gays (including bisexuals with male partners) have to deal with all the normal crap of life plus all the hate. I'm not in either one of those 3 groups, but my hat goes off to them.

I mean, in my town a gay couple can't walk down the street holding hands without getting things thrown at them from cars and yelled at and called fags. I'm pretty sure that's a lot more then a straight couple walking down the street has to deal with.

 

[Spikey]

Yeah, but blacks, hispanics and gays have to deal with all the normal crap of life plus all the discrimination. I'm not either of those 3, but my hat goes off to them.

you forgot women... women still deal with discrimination also... but you don't see me complaining.

So do people with long hair (you ever hear the somg "Signs"?), fat people, skinny people, tan people, pale people, boyish and girlish people, quiet people and loud people, weird people and normal people, preppies, hippies, metalheads, jocks (ever see the Breakfast Club?), jews, christians, muslims (none capitalized on purpose), smal footed people, big haired people, bald people, etc, etc...

So I must agree with Mr. Vape that we are ALL ostracized for one thing or another... as I have stated before... individuality is what makes the world go round.. treasure our differences! Variety is Mother Nature's assurance of survival!

 

[Mr.Vape]

****, and here I am.. a long-haired, fat, pale, quiet, weird dude..

And Canadian, at that..

Christ, I have no chance.

 

[ritalee76]

****, and here I am.. a long-haired, fat, pale, quiet, weird dude..

And Canadian, at that..

Christ, I have no chance.

LOL Good stuff

we are all weird and outcasts some kind of way (like spikey says)...

I embrace my weirdness I like it ... its fun

....

Funny thing happened yesterday ... I was rattling on about some bs or another and one of the guys at the office tells me I have penis envy. I think he's right. However, if I did have one I think I would be in jail for whacking it across our Finance Manager's face. She really needs it.

I will admit to telling people that I need to get a strap on so I can tell them to suck my...

Wait, I'm telling too much about myself now... will retreat to my corner....

Rita

 

[DCrist721]

you forgot women... women still deal with discrimination also... but you don't see me complaining.

So do people with long hair (you ever hear the somg "Signs"?), fat people, skinny people, tan people, pale people, boyish and girlish people, quiet people and loud people, weird people and normal people, preppies, hippies, metalheads, jocks (ever see the Breakfast Club?), jews, christians, muslims (none capitalized on purpose), smal footed people, big haired people, bald people, etc, etc...

So I must agree with Mr. Vape that we are ALL ostracized for one thing or another... as I have stated before... individuality is what makes the world go round.. treasure our differences! Variety is Mother Nature's assurance of survival!

I wasn't complaining, I don't even know how that could have been construed as complaining when I don't even fall into any of those groups; I was just saying that I respect those people. Women do face a lot of discrimination too, however, the people who fall into the groups I mentioned above are pretty much the only people in the US who get killed just for being black, hispanic, or gay. I'm not trying to start any arguments though.