Get busy. As in oh I can't meet with you today, I'm busy. Oh I'm sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm busy. So sorry, I don't have time right now. I'm super busy. Oops! Gotta go! You know.....busy!
I get so mad at people who just want me to do it "their way"
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Man you all are harsh. That's what friends do for friends point out things and go about their lives. Your choice whether you listen or not. Maybe you want friends that pat you on the back every time you write your name successfully. I don't. I want friends to tel me when I screw up. Typically 15 of my close friends tell me when I screw up and the other 15 just don't say anything or just say... that was stupid. Yes I have a lot friends.
Now what to do? Same thing I did to my wife. I grabbed my bottle of VG and PG( premixed with nic) and my flavoring and mixed a batch. She said that's it? I said yup. She asked if it still has nicotine in it. I said yes. She asked if I would quit the nicotine too? I said I wasn't sure yet. I smoked for 30 years and have been vaping for 1. I am in no rush.
Nicotine is a poison. It is derived from the nightshade plant. Nicotine also increases our blood pressure and heart rate. It is not good for the ticker. So it isn't necessarily good for us. Then again is neither is alcohol, sugar, fat and thousands of other junk we ingest into our bodies every day.
Everyone can choose their poison as the see fit. One of my wifes friends started vaping 0 nic after she tried one of my creations.
Now what to do? Same thing I did to my wife. I grabbed my bottle of VG and PG( premixed with nic) and my flavoring and mixed a batch. She said that's it? I said yup. She asked if it still has nicotine in it. I said yes. She asked if I would quit the nicotine too? I said I wasn't sure yet. I smoked for 30 years and have been vaping for 1. I am in no rush.
Nicotine is a poison. It is derived from the nightshade plant. Nicotine also increases our blood pressure and heart rate. It is not good for the ticker. So it isn't necessarily good for us. Then again is neither is alcohol, sugar, fat and thousands of other junk we ingest into our bodies every day.
Everyone can choose their poison as the see fit. One of my wifes friends started vaping 0 nic after she tried one of my creations.
Not really, just right.
Oxygen and water are poisonous too in big amounts.
Electronic cigarettes do not damage the heart - ESC | About the ESC | ESC Press Office | ESC Press Releases | Electronic cigarettes do not damage the heart
From your own article....
"Dr Farsalinos said: “This is an indication that although nicotine was present in the liquid used (11mg/ml), it is absorbed at a lower rate compared to regular cigarette smoking.”"
"The researchers measured myocardial function in 20 healthy young daily smokers aged 25-45 years before and after smoking one tobacco cigarette and 22 daily electronic cigarette users of similar age before and after using the device for 7 minutes." How many of us vape for 7 minutes a day? Be real.
"He added: “It is too early to say whether the electronic cigarette is a revolution in tobacco harm reduction but the potential is there. It is the only available product that deals with both the chemical (nicotine delivery) and psychological (inhaling and exhaling ‘smoke’, holding it, etc) addiction to smoking, laboratory analyses indicate that it is significantly less toxic and our study has shown no significant defects in cardiac function after acute use.”" nicotine affects the ticker. Now maybe we don't get any nicotine so it is all psychological.
"Dr Farsalinos continued: “More clinical studies need to be done before suggesting that this is a revolutionary product. However, considering the extreme hazards associated with cigarette smoking, currently available data suggest that electronic cigarettes are far less harmful and substituting tobacco with electronic cigarettes may be beneficial to health.”" I tend to agree. That is why I vape instead of smoke cigarettes. I do not mind my friends stating their opinion. I guess I have jeuvos.
Nicotine does. If your body is receiving nicotine it is affecting your ticker. you can deny it all you want. Methinks that is typical of you.
No. Only from your 1 quip wonder.
Personally I don't wish to know anymore either.
Stay on topic. Geeesh.
Oh, I don't think we are being the least bit harsh.
There are light years worth of difference between constructive criticism and destructive criticism.
That being said, we all have the the right to self - determination in our personal lives and our choice of friends and acquaintances is part of that self - determination.
After everything else that she has gone through and is going through, the last thing she needs in her life is a soul assassin.
Some folks are more concerned with the quality of their relationships and not quantity of relationships.
I would much rather have two or three good friends than a whole roomful of acquaintances.
I agree with this. While part of me feels a little sorry for her friend what she is doing is unhealthy for the OP. A true friend supports and stands by you, especially when your going through hard times. This woman seems to want to do whatever she can to bring the OP down and make herself feel superior and it's pretty sad.
Very true to an extent. I have been with my 30 friends (core group) since I was 16. I am now 50. I am uncle Blue to all their kids as mine are to them. There is no reason quality must suffer due to quantity. I firmly believe the better friend is someone who can tell you that which you don't want to hear and still remain a genuine friend.
With the OP, I would much rather have a friend I could speak openly with. I guess I wouldn't let it get to me. Explain it to her/him the cest le vie. Life is too short to worry about it.
Everything she has gone through? My mom went through the same thing when I was 10. I also told my father what I thought about when I was 30. Sucks to be him I guess, my kids will never learn about their grandfather.. probably best though.
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Ugh darling. My dad had his defective hip replacement taken out just friday. That's rough, Im so sorry to hear it :/Thank you everyonereally, I mean it. I've had a rough year so far. Tongue cancer, quitting smoking, turning 50- and just in the last couple weeks my SO of 2 years bailed on me and I found out I have to have a total hip replacement (and I live alone and don't have disability insurance :/)
So to find acceptance and support right now is like water in the dessert, I have to say.
Thank you so much
When I was a smoker, and now as a vaper, and pretty much with anything I choose to put into my system...I must remember that it is MY choice, MY conscience that will mull it over, and my body that will either benefit or suffer the consequences. I find, now that I am older than a spring chicken, I just ignore people like this.
Some people will always have something to judge you on. If you quit vaping, it will be what you eat, if you are a perfect weight, it will be that you should drink more water, if you are well hydrated, then people will judge you for the cosmetics you use, the cell phone you bought or the car you drive.
Don't sweat the small stuff
Some people will always have something to judge you on. If you quit vaping, it will be what you eat, if you are a perfect weight, it will be that you should drink more water, if you are well hydrated, then people will judge you for the cosmetics you use, the cell phone you bought or the car you drive.
Don't sweat the small stuff
There is a difference between a genuine friend and the social equivalent of an ax - murderer.
When I was a smoker, and now as a vaper, and pretty much with anything I choose to put into my system...I must remember that it is MY choice, MY conscience that will mull it over, and my body that will either benefit or suffer the consequences. I find, now that I am older than a spring chicken, I just ignore people like this.
Some people will always have something to judge you on. If you quit vaping, it will be what you eat, if you are a perfect weight, it will be that you should drink more water, if you are well hydrated, then people will judge you for the cosmetics you use, the cell phone you bought or the car you drive.
Don't sweat the small stuff
Well said, Chelle, well said.
Uncle blue.. did you read the Op's post in its entirety? This "friend" is judgemental if several things in her life.
Of course we all need friends to level with us when we are exhibiting behavior that is self destructive. And when they do.. it's all in HOW they phrase their opinion of our behavior. Sounds like you have 15 friends who know exactly how to show respect while guving you constructive criticism. How lucky for you!
Yes I did. I would not comment on something I did not read. Since this is just a post I had to assume some things. This friend has been a friend for awhile. This is not the first time this type of conversation has come about. Something is there for the OP that this friend provides. Maybe it is an unhealthy friendship. Personally I wouldn't let it get to me. Then again, who am I to judge or we for that matter. I was just giving my opinion and was thinking people were overly harsh to the friend.
I am lucky with my friends that is true. Even if I don't listen to them, I value their input.
The fact that Eranda is disturbed enough by her relationship with this person to start a thread about it here, IMO, is what counts. In any relationship, there's a time to give constructive criticism, and there's a time to shut up and hug. The former is about caring; the latter is about support. I've lived my life around some people who were more concerned with making me "better like them" than with my happiness or well-being. Thankfully, I learned (tho somewhat late in life) to recognize my needs and step away from the "toxics." No big scenes, no ranting confrontations. I think it's Robin who talked about what I did, just stepped aside from them and got busy with being happy.
I know exactly how you feel. I am going through the same thing with my daughter's mother. My daughter tells me all the time to come and get her because she needs a break from her mother and her mother's idiotic boyfriend (her exact words and she is only 9). I to pay an un-godly amount of child support. We didn't go to court to set Support, custody, etc, etc, etc... My EX knows that I would have no problem taking my daughter away from her. Her boyfriend thinks that I should be paying more than what I am yet I am paying her MORE than what the state would make me pay. In order to have visitation with my daughter I have to go to her house 96 miles away because my EX doesn't like my fiancé. My fiancé has done nothing to encourage this dis-like. I have had 2 shoulder surgeries in the last year which has made travel damn near impossible so I have seen my daughter maybe 4 times in the last year and this is killing both me and my daughter. My daughter calls me crying a lot of times telling me that she misses me and wants to come to my house for the week or weekend.
A lot of people tell me that I need to take her to court for custody that the living conditions alone that my daughter is in is enough. They have 11 large American Bulldogs, 3 boxers, a toy terrier, bearded dragon, 2 rabbits, and 5 cats that live in the house. You walk in the door and the smell throws you back out. My EX is always having to have help paying their rent and other bills. My EX is becoming physically un able to take care of my daughter yet she says that my daughter has to stay there and help her. My daughter is not even attending school. My EX states that she is home schooling her. BULL@#$%. You have to have at least a high school diploma to home school your child and she dropped out in 10th grade. I have 2 Bachelors. Geeze my daughter cant even be a kid. The Boyfriend has severe anger issues and has a bad bad bad temper. He likes to throw things when he loses his temper and doesn't care what they are or where they go. I have made it very clear to him that if he ever hurt my daughter during one of his temper tantrums that I will do things to him that will make Charles Manson look like Mother Theresa and I will make his Birth Certificate pointless. When my EX told him of my Heritage (Sicilian and NO I don't understand why that makes a difference) he wont even get on to my daughter.
I am preparing to go for custody. I should be in a position comfortably finacially to do so by Oct. I am in the position now but I am going to hire a home decorator to turn our spare bed room into a little girl's room. My daughter is an American Girl Doll guru (she can tell you anything and everything you want to know about the American Girl Doll) so I think we are gonna do the room in that. She already has 13 of the dolls. My attorney plans on having this settled and her here before Xmas.
Our living conditions? We are very mentally and very financially stable. We own our own home, Have a huge fenced in yard, we have 3 dogs and 3 cats and you don't even know this until you see them and they live in the house. Our house is very clean (I lived with my grandparents for 7 yrs. She was a OR Orthopedic Nurse and he was a Gunny in the Marine Corps if that tells you anything). I already have a private school chosen for my daughter. The only thing cleaning wise my daughter would ever have to do here is make her bed and pick up after herself.
My point is unless people are going through what we are, not only with our families but with our nicotine addictions and our daily lives, they will never truly understand. They cant because they have never been there. That's why when I started dating again I refuse to date a woman that DID NOT have a child. My fiancé has 2 awesome teenagers that I consider to be my own. When asked about if they have any brothers or sisters they tell people that my daughter is their sister. Not step Sister... Sister.
I would sit your friend down and tell her that unless she can fully understand about certain things you are going through at this point that you would appreciate it if she would not chime in and to step off because her negativity is putting a huge amount of stress on your friendship. And it is stress that you do not need at this point.
Like I said there are those of us who understand and if you need to talk we are here.
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