i had an altercation at work regarding vaping....

[v1k1ng1001]

Not sure what kind of industry you are in, but it sounds like she was just looking for someone to ....* at. I used to work customer service and I know the type very well lol. To be honest, i think it was a bit of a mistake telling her you weren't smoking, you don't need to excuse yourself because you weren't doing what she is accusing you of and shes obviously just looking for confrontation so that will just fire her up even more. In that situation I would have smiled at her, and said "I am so very sorry ma'am, is there anything else I can do for you today?" in a very polite way.

Another thing to consider is it probably didn't even matter that anyone was smoking, she was probably just upset about something and needed to find someone to fight with.

I was going to write the same thing. Part of being an adult is learning to direct your emotional response toward the proper object in the proper way at the appropriate time/place. If you work in customer service for more than 20 minutes you learn that many adults are not adults in this sense.

I worked an array of customer service jobs during and after college and there is a certain type of person that is a spoiled in the sense that they feel entitled to be abusive, that is, to unfairly work out their frustrations on others who are not in a position to respond. Very often it's the infantilized housewife who gets away with this at home or the narcissistic manager/executive type that gets away with it at work.

Once I was working the front desk at the main lodge of a ski resort. A woman yelled at me for five minutes because I had ruined her family's vacation--because the weather conditions necessitated that the ski lifts be shut down for 2 hours. It had nothing to do with me obviously, she just felt like yelling at someone. So I just listened to her and nodded until she felt stupid.

The key with these folks is don't feed the flames and don't take it personally. They're children.

 

[Hill]

Man I just can't believe some people, they act like one puff of smoke and they'll die of cancer tomorrow.

Humans evolved with fire. Our lungs can handle some smoke and are even equipped to remove the tar and other junk out of the lungs. Once the cilia are no longer paralyzed by the nicotine in the case of cigarettes.

I know you can't but wouldn't it be great if you could just say "if you don't like it get the hell out". Or perhaps a more polite response. "If your done making an ... out of yourself is there anything I can help you with?"

 

[iClearoman]

One way to solve the problem of people equating vaping with smoking is to provide not only a designated smoking area, but also a separate area for vaping--indoors! When people see that vapor doesn't do them any harm, save for those few unfortunate souls suffering from chemical sensitivies and/or allergies to PG and/or VG, they'll see that vaping is not the same as smoking.
Smoke has been proven to harm the average bystander. If vapor harms anyone, it's only the few with sensitivites and/or allergies--not the average bystander.

I completely agree with this. I hate that I have to vape in the smoking section at work but my boss doesn't want me to do it inside the building. Which I get, the customers might get upset as they would think I was smoking. It just sucks though. It also stinks back there cause of all the cig butts.

 

[peterforpats]

I have a problem with people that need to .... their nose in another persons business.....
Doesn't matter if you were the smoker or not, that is just totally rude behavior. The ANTZ have done a great job at getting people to look down on smokers and verbally abuse them/us.

When did it become acceptable to Force ones opinion onto others?

SMH

I'm sorry, I know it was a customer, a no win situation. Still doesn't make that person have the right to verbally abuse (yeah, that's what it is) another human being.

seriously?..."When did it become acceptable to Force ones opinion onto others? ". i believe it's called LIFE- it is what we do every day whether we realize it or not. politics is nothing more than the organized effort of forcing one person's opinion onto someone else. when you agree with the opinion it is a good thing, when you disagree it is a bad thing. CASAA is an orginization designed to express the opinions of vapors and get those opinions codified into laws which protect vapors. i agree with their aims and goals, but to pretend it is somehow different than those who are oppossed to vaping....
we all have opinions and it is up to us to win the debate with a better arguement which persuades a majority to enact our position. but to act as if this doesn't go on all the time about everything is just plain naive and wrong-not only is it acceptable it is constant and neverending. it would be nice to be on the winning side for a change so let's keep pushing until vapors win the day-yes, let's push our opinions on them.....

 

[InTheShade]

I was going to write the same thing. Part of being an adult is learning to direct your emotional response toward the proper object in the proper way at the appropriate time/place. If you work in customer service for more than 20 minutes you learn that many adults are not adults in this sense.

So true. Working as a retail manager I was surprised at the amount of rude, hostile and misinformed people that my team and I had to put up with on a daily basis. I've had things thrown at me, been spat at and been told to step outside in the parking lot to 'settle' customer disputes before. Some people need to reassess their social filters when they are allowed out to play.

As others have suggested, try not to feed the trolls. It's hard to bite your tongue when being verbally attacked, but any type of response is probably just going to add fuel to their fire.

 

[amolson]

Selective hearing. My mother, bless her soul, (as they say in the south) deserves human companionship and at least the illusion of some kind of human friendship. I believe all people do, however ... she's also mad as a hatter and attacks everyone around her at random. No, not really at random, pretty much all the time anyone is in ear shot.

Like this customer, she rants and raves about something at the drop of a hat. Being a respectful son, I visit as much and for as long as I can stand.

My secret, to not hear 90% of it. It's just too irritating. With customers, I do the same thing as long as they're not physically violent. Then, when they seem to have run down, I say, politely, "Sorry, I wasn't listening."

At least on the phone I can put it down. Which I've been known to do. Even walk away from it. In mid rant, she can't tell. Just do the same thing in your head. I find trying to remember "They Might Be Giants" or "Barenaked Ladies" lyrics to be quit satisfactory mental ear plugs.

 

[jpargana]

Great post, couldn't agree more and I do understand about the firearms situation

As a manager in a retail setting, my first concern has to be the reputation and bottom line of the business. That being said, that reputation and bottom line is mostly going to be protected and served by the people working for me. My people are only going to treat my customers with the same consideration and respect that I treat them with. I always tell my new hires that our business is built on the cornerstone of respect, I expect it from them and I expect that they receive it from each other, management and our customers. I have, in over 25 years of management, asked 2 people to leave and never come back for berating an employee. There were other times it got close but reason prevailed. Never a dull moment when dealing with the public.

Great post indeed, sir !

 

[Anjaffm]

Wow!! Just... wow!! The nerve of some people!!

" It just made me so angry that she was yelling at me for something I quit over three months ago"

Well, sorry, but in my opinion, that is not even the point. Even if you had NOT quit, that... person... still would be way out of line.
Smoking is legal. Governments PROFIT from it. That... person... had NO right to yell at you, just because she THOUGHT you were doing something that is LEGAL, but which she does not APPROVE. If she doesn't, it's entirely HER problem. Not yours.

Much worse than that: she called you a LIAR, after you tried to explain it to her? I do not know how I would have handled it, really... I have past 40 years, and I do not have the same patience to suffer fools I used to have 20 years ago. So, kudos on handling that so well - it was a costumer, after all. Granted, a very biased, dumb one. (On the other hand, she was not complaining about anything related to business, but about something related to your personal life... something she has ABSOLUTELY no "right" to complain).

absolutely!
I cannot believe such rude behavior. Customer or no customer - that female (who most definitely is not a "lady", on the contrary) has no right whatsoever berating a store employee about their personal life.
What's next? Busybody customer tells female employee that her nailpolish looks like crap? Tells male employee that his belly is too big? Tells any employee "You are ugly ? - And when that employee says "No, I am not ugly" then yell at them at tell them they are liars?

HUH? The gall of some people!

There are some things that a decent person just does not do. Period. That female is an itch with a B. A rude horrible person with no manners. And not worth your time or your nerves.

Actually, she kind of reminds me of that female in that joke about the Walmart greeter

 

[Anjaffm]

This is one more example of why vaping in designated smoking areas is a bad idea. If vapers want the general public to believe that vaping and smoking are the same thing, then act like it is by only vaping in smoking sections. I doubt we will see any of the "act like vaping & smoking are the same thing" crowd on ECF show up.

To the OP, sorry this happened to you.

Very well said, indeed.

 

[v1k1ng1001]

As a manager in a retail setting, my first concern has to be the reputation and bottom line of the business. That being said, that reputation and bottom line is mostly going to be protected and served by the people working for me. My people are only going to treat my customers with the same consideration and respect that I treat them with. I always tell my new hires that our business is built on the cornerstone of respect, I expect it from them and I expect that they receive it from each other, management and our customers. I have, in over 25 years of management, asked 2 people to leave and never come back for berating an employee. There were other times it got close but reason prevailed. Never a dull moment when dealing with the public.

I agree with the idea that, generally speaking, it is far better, from a business standpoint, to suffer some abuse on the way to reaching a productive outcome.

Yet, there are two important caveats:

1. When the dignity of your employee is severely compromised, that customer needs to be shown the door. When the interaction descends into abuse, respect for your employee's humanity should supercede the pretense of respect that is granted to a problematic customer.

2. Along those lines, my experience is that 10% of your clientele will eat up 90% of your efforts--which is fine in many cases as some become long-term loyal customers once you put the extra effort in. But the .1% who attempt to monopolize 99.9% of your time with childish and unreasonable behavior are worth losing. Word of mouth can certainly hurt a business but there is nothing you can do to make this .1% happy. At they end of the day, it's about damage control-- it is better to have one negative interaction with them than, say ten.

 

[Steamix]

I'm not trying to excuse her behavior, having been a psych major I always try to get in someone's head and see where they are coming from.

Dangerous business that ... considering the hard vacuum that gets carried around between the ears by quite a few contemporaries...