Thank you Flamingo Tutu...
I am kind if at a loss for words right now. Its the first time I've been accused of being antz-esque whattta hell wow what a disconnect.
This thread began with someone who was afraid they'd fail at quitting cigs because of fear their vape gear wasnt enough or would break. The op was concerned about whether to buy more batteries and backup gear or more cigarettes, and that led to folks giving good advice on having backup gear and will power to finally quit etc.
Some feel the best way to really quit is to finally have the will power to do so and not go back. Some are afraid to let go of their cigs and have success at that, but some of these same people end up failing eventually because they have the alternative within reach and fall victim to temptation.
My post was an attempt to address that "fear factor", which can be overcome by transferring the "supply on hand" worries or "fear factor" to being mindful of what e-liquids and gear one has on hand INSTEAD of whether or not they have some cigarettes stashed away.
My poking a little tease at AndriaD was just that and not meant to offend her. The post was just an attempt to use a little humor to begin what I had thought was a fairly thorough explaination of the "fear factor" will power situation which I was trying to convey. It was speaking to everyone reading the thread including the op, and I still stand behind what I wrote, and yes I was trying to rally folks on to total zero cigarettes sucess. I just wish it hadnt been so horribly misunderstood as to think it was somehow encouraging failure. I mean ... ???
Just telling a fear "go away" does not make it go away.
When I quit the first time, at the end of Feb, I kept a no-need-to-panic stash for 56 days, then, because I had a neighbor at the time who was CONSTANTLY badgering me to bum a smoke, I gave them to him. Not even a week later, this BUM sees me at the mailbox, and sez "so, you don't have anymore cigarettes?" Man, I went off like Vesuvius -- "I TOLD YOU I HAD QUIT, THOSE I GAVE YOU LAST WEEK WERE THE VERY LAST I HAD! EITHER GET A JOB OR QUIT SMOKING!!!"
But, all in all, I did ok without that panic stash -- no compulsions, no resentments, just deliriously happy about having quit. I began suffering some problems with foot/ankle swelling, which I thought might be related to vaping, but I wasn't sure how. But I kept on vaping, even as the problem got worse and more painful every day that went by.
When I had been smoke-free for 109 days, I suffered a full day of abdominal pain and nausea, and that night the abdominal pain became UNENDURABLE AGONY so I went to the hospital -- acute appendicitis. I was in the e-room about 9 hrs before they FINALLY got me to surgery, but since the treatment e-rooms in my local hospital are pvt rooms with doors, I was able to stealth vape, once the morphine sank in enough that I could MOVE without screaming. They did a laparoscopic surgery, so, because I had been smoke-free for 110 days at that point, and had clear lungs and ZERO complications from surgery, I got to go home the same day. Feeling fine -- thank you, morpine and residual sodium pentothal. Naturally, I'm vaping away, happy as a non-smoking clam.
Now... let's skip right over the next 4 days of nausea/vomiting hell, when I could not vape, did not want to vape, got sick all over again just from the THOUGHT of vaping, I was so godawful sick. See me sitting at the kitchen table, finally able to get out of bed (shakily), somehow make it to the kitchen -- with vape in hand! -- but every hit tastes like tee-total dog poop, because EVERYTHING! tasted like tee-total dog poop at that point. I try to eat, because after 4 days of eating NOTHING, I *have to*. I can get maybe 3-4 bites down before I'm completely full; even one more bite would make me sick all over again. So I drink some pepsi, just to give my body some sugar if nothing else -- still trying my damndest to vape, but it STILL tastes just godawful. Not in pain... the nausea has mercifully abated... but I can barely eat, vaping is horrible, I have ........ from hell... and guess what shows up? Cigarette cravings, I don't mean the thought, "oh, a cigarette would be nice," I mean the demon-from-hell voice that ROARS "SMOKE RIGHT NOW SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE RIGHT NOW SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE RIIIIIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!" And it suddenly occurred to me... I HAD NO CIGARETTES IN THE HOUSE!!!!!
Instant, massive, panic. Instant, massive rage. Instant, massive tearful breakdown, after all I had been thru in the last week, NOW the damn cigarette cravings are hitting and hitting and hitting, and I DON'T HAVE ANY CIGARETTES I CAN EVEN BARGAIN WITH MYSELF WITH! So I ran to my husband and SCREAMED "I quit with e-cigs because it was EASY!!!!!! BUT I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR
THIS!!!!!!!" So, he went and got me some cigarettes, and I smoked them, and although I didn't quit vaping, and within a couple weeks, it started tasting ok again, and I discovered coconut water and got the foot/ankle swelling under control... it still took me a month to go back to not smoking. And when I finally smoked my last one, I had the same number of cigarettes left in the pack as I had given to that next-door dummy, and I thought, this can't be a coincidence -- so I stuck them in a ziplock and put them in my freezer. So that if there is EVER a "next time" of cravings like that, I can bargain with myself, and very likely, bargain myself right out of smoking them. Because during that month of smoking, I acquired some WTA, and when those awful cravings came back at 10 days smoke-free, I added WTA -- and the cravings COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED. I didn't panic, I didn't get mad, because I knew it if got bad enough, I had some cigs I *could* smoke... but the WTA meant I didn't have to.
So, please don't tell me how to work my non-smoking. I know what works for me, and what absolutely DOES NOT work, and getting all the cigarettes out of my house would just make me PANIC, and then make me MAD!!! And then I would get cigarettes and smoke them because I refuse to be coerced!
Andria